Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

so uhhhh yeah, did anyone else catch that bit where dan was legit giddy at seeing the cubs-on-670thescore logos and promo material? "it didn't seem like it was real, but now seeing this stuff it's like 'wow it's really happening' " --- spoken like a true sox fan, right?

how long until beerstain formally gives up on the whole "i'm a sox fan" thing and outright changes his allegiances to the northsiders? this move can be accompanied by days/weeks of shows about "people who claim that they can only support one chicago team are idiots... there's nothing wrong with being a fan of an organization that's doing a lot more things WAY better than the other organization. why can't a sox fan like the cubs? YOU'RE AN IDIOT if you're citing your eternal hate for the cubs because of some longstanding fealty to the sox just because you're a "sox fan"? it's 2016, it's time for chicago sports fans to grow up and start enjoying greatness more than petty rivalries borne of jealousy. IT'S OK TO ENJOY GREATNESS!"

also hearing dan joke around with a question of where ppl can hear sox games in 2016+ by responding with "who cares? ratings and stats show that nobody cares about this so why would you start caring now?" = #SoxFanDNA on display, eh? dan really needs to come out of the closet here.... preferably in a gaudy looking CHICAGO CUBS 1989 DIVISION CHAMPS shirt =D

Boston had a better team and the Lakers won.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

Boston had a better team and the Lakers won.

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

How can you say Shaq isn't in Kobe's era? He carried him to three rings and won another in Miami a couple years later.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

so uhhhh yeah, did anyone else catch that bit where dan was legit giddy at seeing the cubs-on-670thescore logos and promo material? "it didn't seem like it was real, but now seeing this stuff it's like 'wow it's really happening' " --- spoken like a true sox fan, right?

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

Don't blame us that you are bothered by #facts. I haven't hated on Kobe at all. If saying Duncan is better makes me a hater it means I hate everyone who's ever played in the NBA except for like 3-4 guys.

You were hating on Kobe when he was still winning titles and now you are dancing on his grave because you know it will piss me off.

Fuck Off, Kobe


Drew Magary
Filed to: NBA11/30/15 9:53am
Fuck Off, Kobe

The funniest thing about Kobe Bryant’s retirement “announcement” yesterday is that Kobe Bryant was clearly the last person to know that this would be Kobe Bryant’s final season. Honestly, I thought he had announced it already, given that he’s a broken-down old mummy who can no longer play basketball.

But because it’s 2015, and because nothing in 2015 can happen without being branded to within an inch of its life, yesterday was the day Bryant chose to randomly mark the beginning of the formal commemoration of the final stages of the lead-up to the end of his pre-comeback career (or “regulation time”). I assume there’s already a two-part fall finale planned in which Kobe misses a game-tying layup while also breaking his wrist.

Bryant’s comeback came in the form of a poem (so tasteful) posted over at Jeterland. Derek Jeter, as you recall, is the poster child for turning an otherwise unremarkable final season into a twisted personal brand rela2nch that no one asked for. Given the deterioration of his abilities and the urgent need for his team to develop its younger talent, Kobe Bryant should retire NOW. Today. He should fuck off in his Ducati and go write thoughtful journal entries or something.

But if he did that, marketers wouldn’t have their required calendar year of lead time to ideate and hold focus groups and produce the perfect, somber, sepia-toned Sprite ad to honor one of the least endearing athletes in modern sports history.

As someone who used to work in advertising, I can promise you that header font was chosen over the course of eighteen grueling conference calls dating back to 2012. And what of that strange symbol at the bottom? Is it a sign of the OCCULT?! No, of course not. No, that’s a fucking logo. Eighteen more conference calls.

WARMS THE COCKLES, does it not? So many memories of campaigns past. I remember the first time I took my children to see Kobe on a Nutella label. But wait! There’s a story behind that logo. And by story, I mean “brand identity clearly written by a 35-year-old copywriter.” Here’s Kobe regurgitating all the proper talking points to the AP:

“Hero and villain, it’s a mixture of both,” Bryant said in the interview with The Associated Press. “People are so complicated. It’s never one thing or the other. It’s always a mixture of both things. Certain moments can define you as one thing. Monday, you may be a villain. Tuesday, you may be a hero. It’s always an up-and-down thing.”
So true. One day, you’re throwing cum-stained shirts at a police officer. The next day, you’re buying turkeys for starving orphans. Everyone is complicated like that!

These retirement tours have to end. They are endless, boring, contrived, and completely out of step with reality. It’s only November. I’m supposed to give a shit about Kobe Bryant retiring when he’s got five AWFUL months of urinating on teammates to go? Were the titles and MVP awards not enough formal adulation? Kobe Bryant built his entire career copying Michael Jordan’s moves and psychopathy, with NONE of the charm. (Even that stupid poem bites off Jordan’s retirement.) Why should I celebrate this nutjob’s willful blindness to reality, with his moron coach aiding and abetting it? If anything, Kobe Bryant deserves to finish out his career on some Siberian outpost, dragging his leprous body parts behind him just so he can deny a teammate an open look at the basket.

I’ve said it before: if you want to retire, retire. This instant. If you’ve already announced the end, then the end has already come. Everything afterward is painful and unnecessary. Steve Spurrier quit on the spot this season, and you know what? It takes balls to quit like a coward. It takes balls to risk scrutiny and finally admit, “You know what? I can’t do this,” and walk away, without pre-planning your own season-long ticker tape parade. We’re going to spend the rest of this season whitewashing Kobe Bryant’s legacy for no good reason. He should go home and leave us all alone forever. It’s what that asshole deserves.

by the time Kobe became "Kobe" Shaq had been in the league about 8 or 9 yrs. I think of Shaq battling Akeem, Robinson, Ewing, and Duncan. It took Kobe a few yrs to really become that guy in my eyes. He hadn't really arrived until his 4th or 5 yr in the league to me.

Shaq also fell off tremendously after leaving L.A. he was no where near the same player. Injuries and weight issues caused severe deterioration in his game. Once Kobe became really good Shaq was sort of done. That's why I say they weren't in the same era. The other 3 were great around the same time which makes comparisons easier.

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

Do you think you'd feel the same way if Kobe retired 2 years ago? I agree that Kobe was nothing special his first few years in the league. Another reason why he's not top 10.. Guys like MJ and Lebron and Magic were instant stars from Rookie on.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

If you have to include ESPY awards to fill space, you probably should have chosen a smaller graphic to work with.

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

My opinion of him hasn't really changed over the yrs. He was always a selfish player that had to be surrounded by superior talent in order to win. Shaq was the most dominant force in the league during his Laker yrs.

Kobe rode his coattails to three rings. Kobe was an all star and talented but not the best player in the league at that point. Maybe top five at most during that pd. He was not capable of carrying a team.
His career was floundering big time until Gasol came along also. Bynum came into his own for a couple of yrs and Odom also played like an all star too.

He has never been able to elevate a team without having superior talent around him. That is how I will remember him.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

Laurence Holmes is a fucking weirdo, a nerd in denial, and a wannabe. Not a very good radio host either.

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.

I don't think Rings is the end all be all, Memo is great, just like Karl Malone or Reggie Miller or A.I.

I'm a huge fan of Dirk, that was a great series but my opinion wouldn't change of him he lost in 7 to Lebron.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

We lose a lot of rights when we look the other way when it doesn't affect our lives or it isn't a cause we agree with.

That logic has never really applied whenever I've attempted to explain why Carmelo Anthony has never won anything. Just for the record I've never heard you defend that position either. I've always been out on an island with that one. He is expected to win with J.R. Smith as the second option but Kobe Bryant is conveniently provided a pass for being an 8th seed with Pau and Dwight Howard in the same starting lineup.

I watched Dirk Nowitski win a championship by elevating a team not expected to win anything. I watched Duncan do the same. I provided the 99 and 03 rosters for support and no one commented about that. Nas keep claiming David Robinson. What exactly did Robinson win before Duncan?
Robinson was not a great player by the time 99 rolled around.

Also Dwayne Wade did the same thing with Miami in 06. I have never at anytime during Kobe Bryant's 5 championships, left with the feeling that I'd just watched the best player in the world play.

I could say that for Duncan, Nowitski, James, and Wade at various times. Wade and Nowitski were never considered the best guys but they definitively carried their teams to championships. When has Kobe Bryant ever done that? I could point to great players carrying their teams throughout history also. Not necessarily to a championship, but at least a series or two. Has he ever done that? Nope.

The whole obvious thing isn't really all that obvious if it's never used to debate the greatness of Bryant. He was the second best player on 3 championships and only slightly better than Pau on two of them. Pau Gasols Memphis teams had better records than the Shaq less Lakers, yet Kobe was much better than Pau?

I'm not sure where you're going with this. On the one hand you say Kobe is the second best player of his generation, but then on the other you question whether or not he was much better than Pau Gasol.

As for Anthony, I think the standard for good to great players on bad teams is KG of the Wolves. Win some games in the second round, maybe go to a CF, etc. To be fair to you, Kobe's record between the Shaq and Gasol eras is horrible. I used to think he used that time to boost his averages to make up for time lost when he was a rookie and when he shared the spotlight with Shaq. Eye popping numbers but absolutely atrocious team performance.

I'm not going to fault Kobe for winning when the Lakers became deeply talented with him, Gasol, Odom, Bynum, etc. Those are his wins - the best usually win in the NBA, unlike the NFL. That being said, I don't think the first two Lakers championship teams were all that talented after Kobe and Shaq. I think the next best player on the first team was a washed up Glen Rice. It shouldn't be need to be said, but let's just say it anyway to be clear: During the three peat, Kobe wouldn't have won without Shaq, but Shaq also wouldn't have won without Kobe.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.

If you have to include ESPY awards to fill space, you probably should have chosen a smaller graphic to work with.

I'm not sure where you're going with this. On the one hand you say Kobe is the second best player of his generation, but then on the other you question whether or not he was much better than Pau Gasol.

As for Anthony, I think the standard for good to great players on bad teams is KG of the Wolves. Win some games in the second round, maybe go to a CF, etc. To be fair to you, Kobe's record between the Shaq and Gasol eras is horrible. I used to think he used that time to boost his averages to make up for time lost when he was a rookie and when he shared the spotlight with Shaq. Eye popping numbers but absolutely atrocious team performance.

I'm not going to fault Kobe for winning when the Lakers became deeply talented with him, Gasol, Odom, Bynum, etc. Those are his wins - the best usually win in the NBA, unlike the NFL. That being said, I don't think the first two Lakers championship teams were all that talented after Kobe and Shaq. I think the next best player on the first team was a washed up Glen Rice. It shouldn't be need to be said, but let's just say it anyway to be clear: During the three peat, Kobe wouldn't have won without Shaq, but Shaq also wouldn't have won without Kobe.

This is going to reach a head pretty soon.