ok, since this movie is being shoved down our throats like some giant event you have to pay for months in advance like a fucking tollbooth, clearly once people behold the spectacle you're gonna wanna talk about it..... well that's where this thread comes in.

WARNING: SPOILERS. GO THE FUCK AWAY IF YOU WANT TO NOT BE SPOILED from seeing the first 1977 star wars movie essentially rebooted

















now you know what scene my avatar is from, seeing as it's from a very important scene right before [seriously don't read the internet. ppl are going out of their way to trump SNAPE KILLS DUMBELDORE] --- yeah, what do you think about all this? ben is a dick, eh?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

some of these kids are getting pretty crafty with the spoilerbombing. for example, i was perusing my usual arsenal thread and i saw this:



that said, the movie is what i thought it'd be.... a slick looking sawft(tm)-as-hell reboot of "episode 4" aka "a new hope" aka "STAR WARS" but for the new generation, with all of the usual perks of media in 2015 (white ppl and their nazi fetish, amirite?)

so i wonder how they're gonna handle, uhhhh, ben's daddy issues. will snoke/plaugeis/whoever be able to influence people nad force them to do his bidding? or was the "i wanna end this pain" stuff the thing where he wanted to eradicate the good in him so it doesnt nag his evil edgelord status so thats why he offed pops to try and be 100% pure darkside edgelord? or was it mind control like the villain on jessica jones (thanks for sparing me the rape)

and of course you know, shit, everything is beyond-analogous to the first star wars much like reservoir dogs is basically city on fire with american actors. it's kind of shit that we can't progress the story and instead we're literally getting the first star wars updated and repackaged and put out there to try and hook the kids of the kids who were hooked from 77-83.... it's beyond transparent and i mean.... comeon. this image says it all



also how dumb is the first order empire to be all "we wanna find luke" and have maps of the whole fucking galaxy minus one little part, so then that map of the one little part gets stolen and the resistance/rebels find it and then they find like and all....why didnt the empire just search that one little part they didnt have the map for? what in the actual fuck?

and of course the first order / empire is in the business of death stars except this one destroys suns/systems cuz you know, uhhhhhh, i guess you dont wanna take over planets for their resources and workforces, you just wanna threaten to / wipe them all out now cuz uhhhh..... man i dont even know. we're all gonna let the spectacle and hub-bub make us wanna like this one and say it's great, which will then become "ok well hey they can and will do better in the next two" and at some point (maybe after plinkett tells you why) you'll realize you're going through the same thought process as the prequels. remember the 2nd one was gonna be better cuz no kid, and the third one was gonna be better cuz it was the darkest one. yeap. how did that turn out for you?

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what's the problem, thicky mcthickerson? this is a thread for ppl to discuss star wars after they've seen it. i started discussing it in the second post so the first one didnt overtly spoil anything so ppl had a chance. i guess your scratchy head is the final warning that spoilers exist.

what, did you expect me to just list the premise/main-plot-points of the whole fucking movie like "LET ME PERSONALLY SPOIL THIS FOR YOU?" --- dude i'm not on 4chan trying to spoilerbomb people. and my thoughts came in the 2nd post to give that much more of a spoiler warning / buffer for ppl who REALLY dont wanna be spoiled.

IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MOVIE AS EPISDE 4 / STAR WARS 1 FOR FUCK'S SAKE. arrrghhadljkfhadsjhfa

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also JDC just tweeted...

Julie DiCaro ‏@JulieDiCaro 4m4 minutes ago

Julie DiCaro Retweeted Marcus Gilmer

Now I want to dress as a celeb dressing up for Star Wars. Kim K Han Solo has possibilities.

---

does she realize that like, she's possibly joking that kim K would be dressing up as somebody who gets killed, so like, by extension kim K and julie DC would be crossdressing up as a recently dead man? is that the joke here or is there some kim K / han solo parallel i'm missing outside of many ppl wishing that kim kardashian didnt exist / was dead / etc (and thus since julie is THE MOST HATED PERSON IN PROFESSIONAL SPORT REPORTING, AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY SHE LIKES IT </LAWintro>, yeah, she'd be dead too)

ah well see darko, this is why you need the cool kids thread... i couldnt ask this in the JDC thread cuz SPOILERS!!!! </riversong>

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Yeah Sini, you are right. They did a pretty big nod to New Hope. That said, I took some joy in it as a fanboy, but I left the movie feeling nothing. No emotion one way or the other. I felt the whole thing was flying by and I kept saying to myself that hopefully they explain this to me later. Do I want to see the next two movies? Yes, especially to fill all the gaping holes and answer all the questions that came up from this one.

So, the second to last Jedi knight in the whole universe takes out two death stars, an emperor and Darth Vader, but he fucks up training Han's kid and suddenly he needs to go run away and hide? When Obi-Wan did this between episode 3-4 it was because he had literally done everything he could, including throwing Anakin in a fucking volcano. I assume they are going to explain more in the next two movies.

Harrison Ford looked old. Damn old. I mean, Nimoy was about to die, but I thought he looked and played his part well in the Star Trek reboot. And Carrie Fisher sounded like Patty and Selma from the Simpsons. I forgot how bad an actress she was. It was like, "oh shucks, my son killed my husband and (my niece?) killed my son, let me hug it out." To be honest, I was hoping that they were going to kill off all three in this movie and start with a clean slate. That said, I thought Ford did well through the middle of the movie and enjoyed the death scene.

Kylo Ren was trained by Luke. Assume he got lightsaber training. How is that Finn and Rey can out-duel him? Finn was a stormtrooper. They don't fight. They shoot blasters. And he was evidently a janitor, so apparently that's made him knowledgeable of all this stuff he knows? And the scenes where Kylo was having a temper-tantrum were kind of awkward. That said, I really liked Adam Driver as a whole in this.

The chemistry between Rey and Finn was great. A good portion of the movie focused on them, which was a good thing. I thought Rey was believable and the whole flash scene and her rejecting the lightsaber was pretty awesome. Lightsaber duel was also cool, even with my earlier complaint.

Finally, when you walked out of A New Hope, you had an understanding of the Empire, how fucking badass they were and how good it would feel when the death star gets shredded. In this? I still don't understand the whole New Order, Republic, resistance relationship. Is the resistance against the New Order? Likely. But then, aren't they just the Republic? When the Republic gets annihilated, I didn't have any attachment to it. Might as well of blown up Mars, would have been no real difference. This all just felt really rushed.

A lot of this is just because its the first of a trilogy and I'm frustrated with having to wait four years for the next movies. I'll likely go back to see it a few more times.

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This was my biggest gripe. It only took them about 2 minutes to plan the attack against the Starkiller thing based on little to no knowledge from the garbageman/stormtrooper.
I realize why they have to keep the movie around 2 hours but I thought they could have maybe given 20 - 30 minutes to flesh it out a bit better. Maybe in the DVD there
will be a ton of unreleased scenes and stuff that could make the movie a bit fuller. I liked it overall.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

I read the spoilers because Im not a huge fan but was interested in what the story would be


Seems like it was very similar to the first one. I guess that's what Star Wars fans want?


Or is it possible that there is a Rocky Balboa effect (overly praised because the previous installment was so bad) at play here?

The story was a bit on the weak side and borrowed a lot from the original movies but now that we have these new characters that will
pick up the reins and run with it I hope they can do some different things. I think there is some truth to fans being a little easy on it
because it wasn't the prequels

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Wait, Sini's picture says something about Rey and Ren being cousins? Is that right?


Ren is Han's kid right?

Rey would appear to be Luke's daughter, so yes to the cousins thing.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Not official, just theory.

Rey is a very good pilot, like Luke. Rey appears to be a much stronger Jedi than Kylo, which would lead you to believe its because of Luke's midichlorians (wtf Lucas?!?!?). Rey is drawn to Luke's lightsaber and wields the shit out of it to nearly kill Kylo.

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Is Kylo the son of Han?

Yes, Han and Leia. They say/insinuate in the backstory that Luke was trying to start a new Jedi training school, Kylo got seduced by the dark side, then Luke split into hiding, Han went back to smuggling and Leia took over as a new resistance force against the New Order.

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Wife liked it a lot. I thought the plot was a tad far fetched and some of the characters just meh. Good but not great.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

The fact that she was very handy/mechanical made me think of Luke when he was working on the farm with Uncle Owen as well, but you are right, it was never
made official during the movie.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

You guys may be right. I thought the original story plot from the way back machine was that Han and Leia had twins. But this movie made it seem like Rey is closer to Luke.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Should've called it: Star Wars Episode VII TWC (Trooper with a conscience)

I liked that aspect of it, finally digging into one of the trooper characters and making them more human. Other than that, it was basically re-hashing the Ep IV story on Roids.

I can't really decide where I rank this one, but Empire Strikes Back is still the best.

Will definitely go see again, mostly to figure out what I might have missed. I saw it in Real 3D or whatever the heck it's called now. I want to see it on a regular screen now.

I agree with what you guys are saying about some things going to fast. I'm a huge nerd about it and wasn't quite sure what was happening at some points. The whereabouts in some scenes were confusing, like I couldn't tell if they were on the Falcon or that other ship with the Giant Biting Penises.....(and members of)

I will admit that I got a little choked up at the end with the Han and Ren scene. That was predictable nonetheless.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

Forgive me if I misunderstood what you wrote CLH, but Kylo isn't dead. The chasm formed between him and her (a la dark side and light side being separated by an impassable chasm).

I'm pretty sure Rey is Luke's daughter, no? Actually, until I read this thread, I thought this was understood. As is said in this thread I guess that wasn't said for certain.

I don't know what to say about the plot of this movie being deemed 'far fetched' ... I mean, the deus ex machina is this nebulous concept referred to as 'The Force', so right there you're either all in or not with worrying about something being 'far fetched'.

I thought it was extraordinary how they took such pains to pay homage to Ep IV while being sure to forge ahead with story arc that will become its own thing in time.

So with this Snoke thing ... are they going to make him something new or will they somehow cobble it into being the rebirth of Palpatine or his master?

I was surprised and initially thought it was a bit of a gamble atthe moment Kylo took his mask off during the interrogation, something Vader of course never did. Clearly it was to foreshadow what Rey said a minute or two later, that he's afraid and an unfinished project.

For the record I'm not among those that shit all over the prequels, so my extraordinary enjoyment of it isn't in any way fueled by the fact that this "isn't the prequels".

If you want something to nit-pick, I thought it was hard to believe that, apparently, Han had never ever once used Chewie's bowcaster. Also, R2 not perking up until the end was a bit goofy but whatever. It was kinda funny, but I felt a little too close to being annoying, when they had Finn act like Kevin Hart-lite briefly a couple or three times. Picking apart this movie seems to me to be a fool's errand anyway best left to the 'too cool for school' crowd.

It's a chance to watch Star Wars, in a sense, for the first time again ... just not as a kid like you did before, but as an adult pretending you're a kid again.

I don't know; I liked it a lot, and as you know I hate everything.

V - IV - VII - III - VI - II - I

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Apparently the Stormtrooper that falls prey to Rey's Jedi Mind Trick was played by Daniel Craig !

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

You misunderstood what I wrote. And you are forgiven.

I think a good portion of my concerns are more to do with not having the whole story yet. Lots of gaping holes which without explanation make it feel like its far fetched.

Theory is Snoke will end up being Palpatine's former master (Plagueris?).

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Yeah I see now where that seems to be the main theory that it's Plagieus (the wise), particularly based on the music in the scene in which we see him on his throne in VII and when Palpatine tells the tale of Plagieus in III ... God bless the internet, apparently someone took the time to make a site you could play two Youtube videos at a time and someone different took the time to track (ha!) down each track from the two different movies, and this will play them both at the same time so one can judge for themselves the similarity.

http://youtubedoubler.com/?video1=v0LhC7N3mNI&start1=0&video2=FCi1MzJXfGo


I imagine a number of the plot holes (e.g., how did she get so good so fast) will be explained in the next movie or two. A leading general statement out there, which I guess I buy to some degree, is that because she was so ready to believe in the force and Luke and everything that that helped.

On the other hand, Luke was blocking small arms fire a few hours into his introduction from scratch and later on made a million-to-one shot by harnessing control of the force. Anakin at age six drove and won a race humans weren't remotely able to do, and then later on turned the tide to a space battle having never been in a 'spaceship' before ... so her being able to beat a non-Darth (I presume) dark-side Force user with emotional issues (surely a key reason throne-fella has trained him as he has to this point) and a half-assed lightsaber really isn't that insane (plus keep in mind he took a direct blow from Chewie's bowcaster which otherwise dropped everyone else with one shot). Plus, we as an audience have only eye-witnessed three humanoids learn about the force ... theoretically maybe these three examples are normal or even less impressive than a lot of others.

To her being Luke's kid ... I think it's a cinch given what I just referenced - all three demonstrated being extraordinarily good 'pilots'. Seems almost obvious 'proof' of being a direct descendant of the best pilot in the galaxy and the fella that blew up the Death Star.

And I'm not gonna lie ... for a moment while she was climbing up the hill at the end, I wondered if we'd find Luke sitting around - not unlike the Council setup with the chairs - with Yoda, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Anakin (maybe Mace too, what the hell why not) waiting for her to show up, and then roll credits - I mean, why not blow the roof off the place one last time with a who's who of all-time Jedi, particularly if the new head cheese is like the greatest Sith ever, whomever it is.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Guys...just remember that the first Star Wars movie happened over a time period of like four days...

Luke goes from moisture farmer to blowing up a space station in four fucking days.

It's science fiction...and we've seen it once. So to try and pick it apart or laud it at this point seems premature to me.

That said...I FUCKING LOVED IT! I felt like an 8 year old seeing Jedi in the theater. Rachel...(Rey) said I looked like a little kid at times.

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@audioidkid

Ripping this Star Wars for being too far fetched is akin to going to an AC/DC concert and being pissed because it's loud. This may come as a shock to everyone but ALL of the movies are quite far removed from reality. I get the complaint that it may have skimmed over specifics but I think they were doing everything in their power not to get bogged down into the convoluted political morass that were the prequels. I thought it was excellent and I am no fan boy by any means. Abrams has resurrected two iconic Sci-fi franchises while paying proper homage to the originals of both.

Hated it. Hated it. Hated it.


Hated it that I loved it so much. There are so many call backs that it is basically a remake. And, even knowing that, I still loved it. I had no idea Han would be in so much of it. Or that Luke wouldn't. Han was basically the star of the movie and he was great.

I thought they were going to end the movie altogether without ever showing Luke and the 2nd movie would be The Search for Luke or something. Rey has to be Luke's kid although my son said there was something about Jedi not being allowed to have kids. I don't remember that but he's smarter than I am and usually correct. It's annoying.

Anyway, great, great, great.

Like Don Tiny, I'll rank them -

Empire
Hope
Awakens
Jedi
The third one
The other two

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You know me like that.

I think Jedi aren't allowed to get married. Technically, baby making doesn't have to involve that.

You might want to teach your son that, before he thinks his bachelorhood is his condom.

just got back from a fantabulous showing downtown. lazboy chairs. pretty fucking solid. the 3D was actually decent.

i think it's gotta be on purpose that they chose an actress who resembles natalie portman. i think that's a dead ringer.

i really agonized over solo's death. i wanted to see him reunited with luke. this trilogy will miss some of that "gang's all here" because of it. even if he comes back in "spirit", which i'm not sure can happen since he didn't have the force.

i agree somewhat with the criticism that there wasn't a real good hold on what exactly the "first order" was all about--or rather, what the republic was all about. it seemed a bit thrown together. and while i'm sure anyone skewering the internet could find fanboys directing them to any supplemental information--you shouldn't need that to find out what is going on in the movie you're watching.

that said, i found it to be very solid. i'm not a fan of the cliffhanger ending, which was my main problem with "empire", because now you can only think "ok this was fine, what's next?". but there were some really nice things going on in this flick. all the homages, all the returns of the original characters, were all well done. i like the new characters and the chemistry is there.

emo ren will be back, and the second film will most likely be another bridge movie to the conclusion which better not be split up into two movies.

for what it's worth, this is a very entertaining film. i rank it above the prequels, just below the original trilogy. the way it ought to be.

out of

I see it the same way.

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Loved it.

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Han's not coming back, Z, because he doesn't want to. He agreed to do a one-off & actually wanted the character to die in Empire Strikes Back. Lucas is a dick & didn't let him walk then. Disney doesn't mind, as they're looking towards the future anyway. I'm pretty sure they're hoping Carrie Fisher goes into an institution or something, so they can move away from Leia as well. I'm sure the next movie will be Luke heavy & involve him dying. That will cause Kylo Ren to turn & the last one will be all about the new characters & moving the franchise forward.