So tonight I run over to my local neighborhood Walgreens for a birthday card, a gallon of milk, and of course one of those Monster Energy java-cool coffeeNRG drinks, and as i finish checking out i'm in the process of being handed my change when i get my spider-sense tingling that someone is invading my personal space.

Indeed, the guy behind me in line was one of those assholes who decided to immediately walk up within like 1-3 inches of me as I'm putting the $$$bills back in my wallet, as if I was doing some kind of horrible disservice to him by making him wait upwards of 2-3 seconds for me to re-sheathe my money (and keep in mind that my wallet was in my hands in anticipation of this, so it's not like i stopped and lollygagged and shuffled stuff from bag to bag b4 i left; i was of a singular purpose/focus/drive here) so appx ~1sec after my transaction finished this dude was literally ALL UP IN MY SHIT giving me that unspoken-body-language of "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!" as i had the boundless audacity not to quickly throw a wad of loose bills in my pocket to hurriedly scamper out of his way like "oh sorry my bad dude" and thus give him the satisfaction of knowing he's the one out of the two of us "manifesting destiny" if you will.

is it any coincidence that pretty much every time shit like this happens it's some 30something-40something guy there with a moderately-to-attractive chick, and of course this guy is ALWAYS like 6'(-1)" and in pretty good shape so it's like he's trying to prove to t/his chick that he's some kind of alpha who can go around "subtly bullying" bigger people (as i'm ~6'4"/250+) like "HEY GIRL WATCH, I'M GOING TO GET ALL UP IN THIS GUY'S PERSONAL SPACE AND MAKE HIM HURRY UP TO SCAMPER OUT OF MY WAY!!!!! OHHHH YEAH YOU'RE GETTING THIS DICK TONIGHT BITCH!!! </BRO-FRATBOY-CULTURE>

ah well, i ended up doing my usual passive aggressive thing of muttering something like "holy shit you're an alpha... if you didn't have that chick i'd be trying to fuck you tonight" and heading out if the store hoping that this guy didnt go pop in his car and try to chase me down as i was walking back home.

for what it's worth: last time that happened (cuz it's happened like ~3-4 times in my life) i was at the same walgreens in line when 2-3 (muslim/ish?) teenagers/20somethings just casually walked up and cut in front of me in line like i wasn't there, so when walgreens did the code I-C-3 (for when it's 3+ ppl in line at a register they'll have someone come over and open up a 2nd register) i ended up stepping up to the other register b4 they did, so as i finished up and started walking out i said to them "hey don't worry guys, i'm just an infidel and i should know that my place as a kaffir isn't in the front of the line, i am eternally sorry for my insolence gentlemen!"

OOOOH yeah as i made it a block or 2 away i had a nice lil riced out honda screech to a halt in front of me and a dude jumped out like "DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME?!? IDK IF I HEARD YOU CORRECTLY SO I WANNA MAKE SURE I HEARD IT RIGHT" (as i noticed the other 1-2 guys were ready to pop out) so i just kinda kept walking past him and started muttering-singing my little jingle of "i'm an infidel, an infidel castro.... i'm an infidel, an infidel asshole!" to myself as i ignored him and got a "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT BITCH!!!!" emanating from behind me. after i heard them peel out and flex their engine as they dramatically drove off i subtly did a little skypoint thanking [god/allah/whoever] that i didn't get myself caught up in deeper shit than i did =D

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO yeah TLDR = don't those convenience/store warriors piss you guys off? or am i the only crazy person taking offense to ppl aggressively getting all up in your shit cuz they're trying to stunt in front of (their?) women like i shoulda saw them coming and broke my stride to accommodate their potential/aggression? #TheMindBoggles

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Walgreens counter space is way too small.

And I guess you're in favor of building a wall around Walgreens?

Why don't you just go buy your stuff at Sini-Mart*? Don't they have birthday cards?


*One Friday my partner and I were buying beer at this convenient store in Morton Grove and we bumped into Sini. That was only the second time I had met him. I think I introduced him to my partner as "Sini". From that day on my partner and I call that store "Sini-Mart".

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Sometimes,I may put my merch down on the counter because I didn't feel like holding it while some old lady in front of me searches for 38 cents in her purse.

I feel the "alpha male" thing to do is not bother anybody because you don't need to be up in somebody's face to let them know you are a deadly ass-kicker. They can feel your presence and respect it.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Walgreens really needs to get self checkouts

Agreed, Jimmy. Walgreens is the home for check writers and exact change searchers. Also seems to be an epidemic with Walgreens flyer coupons.

that are always expired upon exchanging for merchandise.

i think i've said this before, but i have never been in and out of a walgreens in under 10 minutes in my life. even when buying one damn item.

Aggressive people never learn the lesson that there are things in life that are worth fighting over and there are things that are not worth fighting over.

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"Now comes good sailing. Moose. Indian."

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I'm willing to die for this message board. A noble cause if ever there was one.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

That's so cute that you and your "partner" share pet names for things and stuff and for stuffing things.

What an awful homophobic post! You're not going to shoot up Little Jim's this weekend, are you?

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Or they can just open more than 1 register. I hate my local Walgreens. I go there as little as possible, but everytime I stop in, it's like a 15 minute wait in line.

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I love Walgreens!! They have everything you need. If the line is too long, you just go to photo or that perfume counter and ask about something there and then the person is like "I'll just ring you up here."

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right, because you have the coupon clipping grandma's next to the sini's buying 3 things
i suppose opening a 2nd register would work too

Don't worry. The cashier got on the phone to get someone to open up another register. That person will be there just as you are walking out.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

The better passive aggressive move is to give a 3/4 turn and make hard eye-contact with them as though to let them know "if you can ready my eyes, your too close". If they don't back up at that point, break eye contact and slowly turn around. Now take your time by making small talk with the cashier, ask about a sale, or extend a complaint or phone compliment for someone else in the store.

The truth is that when you're conducting business at the counter you're the most important person in the joint. It's why the little old ladies take thier sweet time. It's what I had to remind my mom in her later years, take your time to complete your transaction and that includes securing your money>wallet>purse and then grabbing your items.

I love Walgreens because they take Apple Pay and it's linked to their card, no more coupon clipping. I love everybody who does Apple Pay, no need for the wallet or stuffing away change.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

their prices for things are a bit higher than other options in the immediate vicinity, i think it was my bugler roll-yer-own cigarettes being ~$6 there versus ~$4.80 at the BP that got me to change up my general convenience store habit. i also stopped buying random 22s/40s/tallboys in terms of alcohol so that was another mitigating factor.

plus they don't have birthday cards like walgreens does, even tho the birthday cards at walgreens are 95% humor and 5% super-religious-like-they're-quoting-scripture-and-shit. if i endeavored to spend that $3.50+tax on a dirt cheap 40+$0.25 mini slim jim or 2 instead of a birthday card i reckon sini-mart woulda been the place to go.

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i would also like to add that at my local walgreens there's one middleaged pudgy-to-fat guy working there who ALWAYS insists that you use your walgreens super saver club card even if there's no sale or anything where the card would save you $$$. this dude sucks.

i remember one time i was trying to grab a drink b4 popping a bus and the guy in front of me was buying a couple moderatrely-pricey things and dippy was working the register all "DO YOU HAVE YOUR WALGREENS CARD?" and the customer was like "no, i'm good" but the register dude was like "b-but you never know if you're going to save any money by using it" and the customer retorted "i'm OK with that" only to have register dude go "well you might not know that with using the card you also collect points that are redeemable for $5 or $10 off of your purchase in the future" so the customer FINALLY relented like "ok whatever" only to not have a physical card there so register dude asked for a phone # and it wasn't coming up (requiring 2-3 attempts with the same #), so they had to try like 3-4 phone #s before they FINALLY got it to work (and i was afraid he was gonna make dude sign up for the card right there on the spot). all in all ~2 mins passed b4 the transaction was FINALLY finished and register dude triumphantly proclaimed "SEE, YOU SAVED 30 CENTS!!!!!" --- i barely made my bus that was ~5 seconds from pulling up by the time i got back outside.

this is why i make sure to have my card ready whenever i see it's that dude cuz if anything i just wanna avoid the puppy dog eyes when he's like "b-but you could save money! YOU EARN POINTS!"

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Guy probably is a "career" Walgreens check out guy. Sini as you told that story,my blood pressure went up. It seems like I'm always stuck behind some mope at Walgreens more than other stores.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Coupons and a cart filled with 12 bottles of ice tea, multiple bags of chips, 10 things of gum.... what the fuck?

CVS or Walgreens, either one. And then you get the lady with coupons who wants to argue with the cashier about how many coupons she can use at once so she can save fifteen cents...

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I told me wife about these psychos and she informed me that they do the coupon dance and then resell the items either out of the trunk or on the internet

Did someone take over Hussra's account?

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They should all be murdered along with the guy at the gas station who buys 80 lottery tickets.

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There was a guy at Sears giving me that treatment the other day. I just wanted to buy a new spool for my weed whacker. He turned it into a ten minute transaction.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

YES. That's so fuckin' annoying. They don't seem to realize that no one wants to be in their shitty store for a second more than they need to be. And no one generally gives a shit about saving pennies on a transaction. Just ring my shit up and shut the fuck up.

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People only go to Sears to buy slacks.

Who you crappin?

To an extent, this is permissible. What I don't like is the get the change back and it's a $10, 5, two singles and 38 cents and then we sort the money out in our change purse and then close it and then put the change in the change section, and then close that, then take the change purse and put it in the purse internal pocket, and snap that shut, and then take the receipt and put it in the purse pocket, and snap that shut, and then zip the purse closed and then go. That isn't something you can do in your car or at home? But then again, you are right, they are the most important person in the store... but if you overextend your welcome, you aren't making friends in that line.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

Newper,
That reads like the beginnings of a stand-up act.


I'm the opposite. When I know someone is waiting,I throw my change in the grocery bag and haul ass.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."