"Mr McNeil"
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"Call me Dan"
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"Dan, we've prepared a buy-out offer that I think you'll find extremely gener--"
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"What's your favorite online internet web porn site? I have subscriptions to 37"
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"Yes, we know you do, you've been charging them to the station credit card. And under the terms of our proposed buyout deal, we will continue to pay
for your 37 porn web site subsriptions as well as cut you a nice severance check with a comma."
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*Picks up contract, flips through it*
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"I don't see any non-compete language"
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"Oh, yes, I should've highlighted that aspect of our buy-out offer. Good news for you: we are not asking for a non-compete"
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"No non-compete? I NEED a non-compete. No non-compete, no deal" *Puts in earbuds, 'Stone in Love' by Journey can be heard tinnily blasting away*
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?
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*takes out earbuds, Steve Perry still howling*
"How am I supposed to take 6 months off and then bemoan the man keeping me off the airwaves without a non-compete? And what will the other radio stations in town think if they hear that you guys cut me loose without a non-compete? I won't be able to get a job reading news updates overnights on college radio"
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"Fine, we'll give you a 6 month non-compete; and in exchange we cancel our/your subscription to Nina Hartley's "Club Nina" site."
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"You're gonna take away Nina, she's timeless. My first AND my most recent fap."
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"Is--Is that what you were doing in the coffee break-room with the door locked before this meeting? You didn't..." *peers intently into mug of coffee*
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".... Oh, alight, where do I sign."
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*takes out a small bottle of Plochman's classic yellow, signs his name in mustard*
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"Good doing business with you, Mr McNeil. I'll have security carry your personal items out to your car"
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"Call me 'Dan', tell them to make sure they bring that first draft of my "Top Jock Cock" coffee table book. Hey, let me ask you something, you ever been fishing in Canada?"
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