Somehow i dialed 911

I talked to the operator and said dont bring anyone out... But she sent the police anyway

2 min later i was talking to an officer for the first time in 10 years without being drunk or stoned or trying to get laid. Not bad response time. He wabted to come in but last time i let that happen i went to jail fuck that.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Good on you for standing your ground

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Sounds legit.

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"Somehow"

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he was smart to sit in the driveway for a few min after we talked to see if he could hear anything suspicious but i didn't lay down a $1200 security deposit for an apartment that had thin walls...

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

im really not joking. last time it was 6 cops with guns ready to fire. they said "if you just have a joint or a little bag on you we dont care"

that was bullshit. all they found was a little bag... and the sargent was clearly pissed he didnt find the grow he was looking for. "i thought you said if you just found a bag you wouldn't care?" ... he replied "well i gotta take you in for something"

ok. fine. do it. got off with a class a misdemeanor and i will never let a cop in my house again. good job there, dumbass.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Me too--people don't believe it but on-duty cops are surprisingly sensual.

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Soccer 1,2,3
Spanish Honor Society 1,2,3,4
Forensics 1,2,3,4

"Smiles with Nostrils"

"...no Hmong, go find some blacks"

they call it de-esculation tactics but i call it seduction practices

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

When we still had a landline,when it rained our phone was calling 911. It happened about 3 times before we switched carriers.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Never let the cops in your place. Go outside and talk to them.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

I was writing a paper for school on the computer on september 11th in the mid 90's. I think we must have had aol then in the early days of the internet. When I went to do a word count or spell check or something I saw an option for dial number....so of course I clicked it and it grabbed the date as the only number on the paper and of course it called 911.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

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Did. Not. Happen.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Police are nothing but fucking armed tax collectors. Fuck them. If I really need help, my Glock will protect me better than a cop who is 10 minutes away.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Here you go,you fucking shitkicker:

http://www.claimsjournal.com/news/south ... 233385.htm

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

What if you have a hard on, and shes hot?

Yall bout to have sum wet wires real soon. Nice knoin ya

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

my mother called me one night as was like, i have 6 5gallon buckets of sand that i used to weight down something , can you use them? i was like yeah, she said she'd have my dad drop them off. so he just sat them by my drive to work beater. when i got home i saw them by my car (parked on the road) and was like i'm not messing with that right now.

fast forward to 2:30 in the morning there is someone banging on my door. like super loud, i look out my br window and there is a cop car with lights a blazing in my little quiet neighborhood. I go and answer the door and there is this lady cop who is all serious business.

"um hello"

"yes sir but did you know your car had buckets of sand dumped on it?"

"what" i look past her to realize some kids must of walked by and dumped all the buckets of sand onto my beater. "yeah i my mom dropped some sand off and it was right there, some kids must of done it"

"why did you need all that sand?"

"whats it matter?"

"may i come in?"

"i guess i don't know what you need?..its 2:30 and i'm not sure i really care right now? and i don't see a need for much more interaction here, you can come back in the morning if you need more info"

"so you don't want to file a report?"

"its the last thing i want to be doing right now...can i come down to the station and do it later ?"

"i guess so"

it was the weirdest interaction i'd ever had with a cop. i guess the circumstances are odd but like you don't need ot come inside, it aint' raining, and you don't need to know why i needed sand.

So, funny thing happened.


A few weeks ago, a white truck with 2 guys pulls up to my house on a weekday around 5:30ish in the morning. I am at work, and my wife is freaked out, and calls me. Now we never have cars park in front of our house, we are on a corner of a semi-busy road and our road leading to the busy road. So, I contact the policia to say, hey can you check this out. So, officer is at my house knocking on the door the moment I arrive home, says she ran the plate blah blah blah. Actually took it seriously and followed up with my wife. Turned out to be nothing.

So, Sunday we go somewhere with the kiddos, arrive home and another officers card was in out front door that said, Call me. Wife calls, leaves message. Officers calls back leaves message, training someone will be off until Friday. Very odd. I told my wife, do not invite them inside!

Never answer the door, they will let themselves in if they have a warrant.

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I will bet your neighbors are damned glad that they laid down a $1200 security deposit for the privilege of living next door to you, Ike!!!

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Host of the weekly "We Fish ASA" podcast
Weekly columnist for the Northwest Herald
Bi-monthly columnist for Illinois Outdoor News magazine
Former host of The Outdoors Experience on WIND and The Great Outdoors on CLTV
http://www.wefishasa.com