Seacrest if you have something good please share, if it's the traditional Catholic speil I got it. You too dolphin, but you are often more poignant and perceptive.

According to me, I made some mistakes. A friend made some bigger mistakes and refuses to acknowledge them or has no clue. Pretty sure no clue is the case. It's kinda dumb but the principal behind it really pisses me off. I don't think I'm capable of letting it go without her regretting her actions. I don't want or think it will interfer in any other relationships but I guess it could. So can you forgive and let something go without the other person being sorry.

Forgiveness is about your mental health more than theirs.

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I'm not usually bitter or think about stuff. It doesn't eat away at me or anything. I just kinda shut down and choose to not engage with people. I'm cordial, I don't make social situations uncomfortable or anything. I just don't treat them as a friend.

Why don't you want to say what she did? Too personal?

My sister does stuff that pisses me and my other sister off all the time. It's gotten to the point where we have to let it go and not even comment. Cuz she has no idea she's in the wrong or sometimes she just doesn't care.

Sometimes you just don't want to argue.

If it is a true friend and you have been through a lot of stuff in good times and bad then by all means forgive and forget. If it really is not that solid then shitcan the assholes.

A little. It's more of a theoretical question. Forgiveness isn't easy for me if my feelings have been hurt. It's next to impossible for me to forgive somebody that isn't sorry. Outwardly I can be polite but in my head I'm thinking go fuck yourself. It's not really emotional on anything more like a fact that the other person is just a giant turd.

Beardown's evil sister: Hey guys, I stole your car and wrecked it.

Beardown:

Beardown's good sister:

Drinky:

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No.

I look at the situation that has gone on with my dad since last December. He has "apologized" for the actions he took, but his sincerity was very false. I think his "apology" (which came by way of text message...not even a phone call) was because he realized that the shit that he has pulled has alienated him from the entire family. This is a man that has gone on record multiple times saying that he never apologizes for anything.

It's a gut feeling.

Go with your gut, spaulding.

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I always hurt for you when you talk about your dad. It's got to be painful but worse so frustrating. You can't make people do or feel what is right. And how do you forgive if the person if the apology is hollow and insincere? It's like saying thanks for this big bag of horseshit can I get some more?

Yes

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

That is exactly why I'm the one taking a stand. He's done this to my grandma multiple times since my grandpa died...he didn't have the balls to pull this stuff while his father was still around. My grandma acts hurt for a few days and just lets it slide because she wants everything to be all shiny and happy. Since this all started, she has gotten mad at me multiple times for not just accepting that this is how it is. It gets very frustrating. I don't enjoy the fact that my girls don't get to see their grandfather, but his toxic attitude isn't welcome. My aunt has followed a similar course as I have due to things he has done to her as well.

On the plus side, I have some really awesome in-laws who are terrific grandparents to my kids, and my extended family has been really supportive.

All I can say in your situation is that you have to use your gut. If you feel that the apology comes out insincere, I don't think its healthy to act like all is well after it, because it signals to the offender that their behavior is acceptable and that they can continue to be, for lack of a better word, an asshole.

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Yes.

But forgiveness can also be a long process depending upon what was done to you.

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That one-word answer is both correct and sufficient.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Again I'm sorry. You hit the nail on the head. Why should I suffer and everything for them is great?

Good for you, big guy. I'm impressed. It's funny. I don't think most people would describe me as sensitive but I am. When I am hurt, I'm usually really hurt.

How? Please use more than 1 word.

Boyd I feel your pain. I really have no relationship with my parents. They screwed me over so many times each and now they wonder why I have cut them off and out of my life. Total of the sum is my life is easier without them in it. It really does not bother me now at all as I realize I had to make my own life and not let anybody else drag me down. They wonder why now but they fucking know the truth and they can live with it.

Most people really hurt.

Many won"t admit or deal with it though.

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This thread is depressing.

This and the Charlotte riots have caused me to poor a drink.

Somebody do a fun thread this week.

I guess I would say don't forgive her, Spaulding. If it's how you describe it. I'd say you'd have to give a little bit more thought to making it work if it were family. But it's not.

All the more lamentable since they are also your aunt and uncle.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

start a thread. Who has the best ______? If your a boob guy list that if you are a leg guy tell us that.

[quote= "good dolphin"]The village people biker has the best ass.[/quote]

I think forgiveness should be considered if it's asked for.
On the other hand, (in my personal experience), there are times when a person MUST accept responsibility and be accountable for EXACTLY what their wrong was. Some people are so myopic and think they can treat you like shit, and then offer a half-assed drunken apology just to help their own sense of self. "At least I apologized...."

Sometimes you just have to say - ya know what? fuck you and shove yochildrenur sorry up your ass.
Because the same cycle will eventually occur again.
To be clear, I have made amends with friends after years and years of hating the person and not making it any kind of secret.
It just sucks when it involves actual blood relatives.

So in closing, I'd say.....don't be a bad person to me, and I won't to you.
I guess that's a 2nd grade version of The Golden Rule.
IMO, Adults are required to forgive children who don't know any better if they fuck something up.
Grown ups that do know the difference should give more than lip service.
Actions speak louder than words.
(I'm a cynical jackass)

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

[/quote]

Well, no, I'm not one to objectify women. That would be...ummm...wrong. Julie and Bernstein have showed me the way. I, too, have evolved.

shirtless, that's how I feel.

Beardown you can have the construction worker.

Well said sir.

Cool. I'll take it.

The question, as asked ("Can you forgive someone for something if they aren't sorry?"), required only a simple 'yes' ... no stipulations or notes or codicils or admonitions or anything in addition to it.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

So you have changed your answer to a firm "no" then?

I think forgiveness should be considered if it's asked for.
On the other hand, (in my personal experience), there are times when a person MUST accept responsibility and be accountable for EXACTLY what their wrong was. Some people are so myopic and think they can treat you like shit, and then offer a half-assed drunken apology just to help their own sense of self. "At least I apologized...."

Sometimes you just have to say - ya know what? fuck you and shove your sorry up your ass.
Because the same cycle will eventually occur again.
To be clear, I have made amends with friends after years and years of hating the person and not making it any kind of secret.
It just sucks when it involves actual blood relatives.

So in closing, I'd say.....don't be a bad person to me, and I won't to you.
I guess that's a 2nd grade version of The Golden Rule.
IMO, Adults are required to forgive children who don't know any better if they fuck something up.
Grown ups that do know the difference should give more than lip service.
Actions speak louder than words.
(I'm a cynical jackass)

_________________
Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.