I'm in the last row on my flight back from Montreal. The second the flight pulls up to the gate, swarms of people just start crowding the aisle. It's going to be at least 10 minutes until we get off the plane, so why are you pulling your luggage out of the overhead bin now and taking up even more space? This happens on every flight I'm on and it's just idiotic unless you are in the first few rows of the plane. These people should be shot.

I only saw one other guy in a sportcoat too.

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Fuck you. I need to get away from those disgusting people ASAP.

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Nah, the 60 year old woman who bumped me while trying to put on her coat and then nearly dropped her oversized bag on my head can go eat a dick.

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I'll never understand it. Same thing when boarding an airplane. No way I'm standing 10-15 minutes in the jet bridge and plane until I get to my seat. If I'm not flying Southwest, you bet your ass I'm going to be the last person to board. No line in the jet bridge, no hassle in the plane. I get to my seat in 30 seconds.

I also don't understand people who think because they get up in the aisle first, they can storm past people patiently waiting in their seats during exiting. Airplane Etiquette 101 = you exit row by row.

I have a good friend who is like that. He leaps up like a fucking tool the minute the plane lands. He actually had this stupid idea about using two exits for people to get off the plane. He's been on the thing for four hours but it's going to kill him to wait six more minutes. The guy flies like three times a year but he spent the money and went out to O'Hare to get that TSA priority so he doesn't have to wait in line. He's also a guy who drives an inch from the bumper of the car in front of him. Always in a fucking hurry with no place to really go.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I always feel bad for the saps whose luggage is 10 rows back. They stare helpless as they have to wait for the entire plane to unload to get their overhead luggage.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I'm one of those guys. But I do it only because after sitting for three hours I'm ready to stand up.

I know I'm not going anywhere. I generally check a bag or two so no matter how quickly I get off the plane, there will be a wait at baggage claim.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

I'm always up the second the plane lands. my knees have been jammed into the back of the seat ahead of me for a couple hours or longer with little wiggle room. I'm 6'4" tall and as soon as that plane stops i stand up. i don't cut in front of anyone, i don't try to put on my coat, i don't pull my bags out of the overhead until my row is ready to exit the plane, all of those other things are douchy to do, but standing up harms nobody.

My face really appreciated the guy's crotch that was directly in front of it.

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The worst of these asswipes are the ones who get their bag down and rush as far forward down the aisle as they can get before they get blocked by other people trying to get their bags down.

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Honestly, I agree with the nomination but also hate people who take their sweet ass time when you're waiting to get off.

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i just hate flying in general anymore. way too many headaches to deal with and my patience is very low in the past 10 years. too many holiday flights.

Pro tip from somebody who flies about 60-90 flights a year for the last 20 years, and has a lot of colleagues who do the same:

If you are male, over 40, and sitting behind the exit row, all standing up is going to do is make you want to piss faster.

This is the corollary to the one intelligent thing which Dan Bernstein ever said on the radio: Men over 40 should never trust a fart.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Sorry you're poor.

Next time, fly a charter jet.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Yeah, it sucks. But it beats having to live in North Lawndale and take the 8 bus to work at McDonald's.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Never. Occurred.

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That's a natural reaction for a cock-smoking homo.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

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I'm not sure why you would be on the Halsted bus if you live in North Lawndale. are you taking the Roosevelt bus to Halsted? Where is the McDonald's? I need more information.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

^This guy gets it. #TrumpsAmerica

This is why you stand up right away. It keeps people in line and makes deplaning more orderly. I agree that there's no reason to immediately pull your bags down and crowd the aisle though.

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance

sorry you're short.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Bump.

Fuck you LTG

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I used to laugh at people like this. I flew very heavily from 1988-2005. Sporadically now. I used to call these people the important people. Usually some sales asshat that had plans much more important than everyone else. First on, first off and of course cramming everything they own over head. Oblivious to anyone around them having anything nearly as important as his deal.

I always chose to take it easy and avoided stress and an early heart attack. Check the bag, stroll on, stroll off. You will get there or get home whatever it may be.

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Elections have consequences.

how were the strip clubs and massage parlors?

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Top notch.

This is where you should be going on your spring break.

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It was the summer plan.

I'm still pushing for that one.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.