A few pieces of shit I've mentioned before...
Pure Luck
Darkside wrote:
What an awful piece of shit
My thoughts on Are you Here?
Darkside wrote:
What a worthless piece of shit.
Zack Galifianakis. Owen Wilson. A bunch of hot chicks.
That dude that did mad Men wrote and directed this. I went in thinking this was gonna be good.
But it was fucking horrible. I mean really horrible.
This might be the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Worse than Princess Diaries. Both of them. At the same time.
I would rather stick a shish Ka Bob skewer into my penis hole than watch this again. I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a melon baller. I would like to dive head first into a pool of my own bile and vomit before rewatching this. It would be better to get aids than sit thru this.
The dialog was terrible. The characters were just like stick figures being sold as Picasso. The last 20 minutes made zero sense. The men were all misogynistic assholes and the women wanted be be treated that way. There was this completely nonsensical subplot of Amy Poehler trying to get pregnant that was completely abandoned halfway thru.
This plot was like a dream in how you float from space to space and from story to story with no recollection of how you got there or where you're trying to get next or why. And it ends just as jarring as an alarm clock wakeup.
What a terrible piece of shit.
Knowing
Darkside wrote:
Well this was a total piece of shit.
Judge Dredd
Darkside wrote:
The original. Its on now.
Dear god. This is terrible. I mean worse than terrible.
The Bag Man
Darkside wrote:
This was a bad piece of shit.
My wife wanted to have a movie after the Hawks so she's like oh its got John Cusack and De Niro and what not but mercy. I don't think this was supposed to be a comedy but it was like a comedy that wasn't funny. Or maybe it was a drama but really bad drama.
It was a classic McGuffin heist flick. Or a terrible ripoff of one.
De Niro was his usual washed up self.
Crispin Glover was terrible as a slightly psycho desk clerk. I think he was going for spooky but he came off more like a hippie version of Lloyd Christmas.
They pushed the "what's in the bag?? What could it be?? It's such a mystery! Aren't you just dying to know what's in the bag?" Angle a little too much for me. We get it. We got it from the first scene. I swear no less than 20 times in this shit fest did someone ask "did you look in that bag?".
A couple torture scene didn't save this. One ridiculous guys fighting for the wheel of the speeding car scene. One personal call from the sociopathic cops wife "I don't like chunky monkey dear"...
The dialog was childish. Like an actual child wrote this.
And no one is who they appear to be! Weird!
Oh. Easily the cheesiest thing I've seen in a movie in years. Power is out. Rooms dark. Cusack lights a match to re end something. When he's done we get a closeup of him looking up, menacingly into the camera... and dramatically blows out the match. I'm guessing this was supposed to be the final trailer shot. Pitiful.
You know why everyone wants that bag? Why they're all willing to kill for that bag? Because of what's in it.
What's it the bag? You'd kill for what's in that bag too. Its the two fucking hours you wasted watching this shit.
But you'll never get it.
Frozen
Darkside wrote:
If I'm dead tomorrow it's because I killed myself because I couldn't take this shit any longer.
_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014
bigfan wrote:
Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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