So my 90 year old grandmother was just moved to hospice while being unresponsive. She is on year 10 of Alzheimer's and hasn't really been with us for 6 years. We are living near Atlanta and they are in rural north central Iowa. With holiday's, probably impossible to book airfare, and about a 16 hour drive. Plus we have the wife's parents and grandson visiting until after Christmas now.

All around a shitty situation. Its understandable if we can't make it up, right? We have 3 and 6 year old kids as well.

Yes, definitely understandable.

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It is understandable. Send flowers.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Yes, totally understandable. If your family is so inclined, perhaps you can organize a "celebration" of your grandmother's life sometime after the holidays. People do that kind of stuff all the time, although not in my family because we are totally dysfunctional.

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I definitely think it's understandable.

I'm not really big on funerals myself. I try to spend time with people when they're alive. I have a friend who never goes out, always blows off "plans" (quotes because everyone knows you can't make plans with him), complains about being invited to your wedding or your kid's graduation, but he never misses a fucking funeral. I'm not even sure why I call him a "friend".

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Freedom is our Strength.

Based on your stories, you must see the guy every week.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

More details coming in. Outlook is not good but her wishes were to be cremated. Her children have decided they will cremate have a small service for everyone local and then will have a celebration of life ceremony in the spring. She would have really liked that as she was a AVID gardener.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

If you don't go the their funeral...they won't come to yours.

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Proud to be UNVERIFIED.

HELEN: Hello? ..Yes, I know.. Well, it's just one of those things.. Sure, sure, we'll see you then. (Hangs up) The funeral's Wednesday.

JERRY: Wednesday? What, what Wednesday?

HELEN: Two o' clock, Wednesday. (Jerry shrugs) What?

JERRY: I've got the softball game on Wednesday. It's the championship.

HELEN: So? You're not obligated. Go play in your game.

JERRY: I didn't even know the woman.

HELEN: So don't go.

JERRY: I mean I met her three times. I don't know her last name.

HELEN: Jerry, no one's forcing you.

JERRY: I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? That's what I want to know. I mean, it's the championship. I'm hitting everything.

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As the kids say, it isn't a binary choice.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Will you feel guilty if you don't go now? Will the spring celebration be enough?

Tough situation to judge. People have different intensities of relationships with their grandparents. My father's side died when I was very young and I do not remember them. The others died in my teenage and adult years. I would not have missed. My great grandma died when I was in college and I did not come home. I don't necessarily regret it but even in typing that I feel like a heel.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I've found the dead don't miss me.

The purpose of a funeral is to pay respects to those left behind. Being that Mr. Ferguson (I just couldn't call him "Turd" in this context. ) is himself a surviving relative, I don't think he will be judged by his own family members for failure to appear in a difficult time and circumstance.

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Freedom is our Strength.

There would be some guilt, but its just not feasible too make the drive on that short of notice. Especially with it essentially canceling christmas for my wife's family who flew down.

We have a solid family so there won't be any fall out for just going in the spring. And I can see them really pressing no one to travel for it in the winter.

That's my father!

I had a wake to attend for a friends parent that was on a Sunday evening. I also had Bears tickets purchased far in advance. I assumed I could go to the game and then go to the wake after the game. I didn't count on the fact that I was an idiotic 22 year old and I proceeded to drink so much that I passed out upon arriving home and wasn't conscious until my girlfriend (now my wife) was leaving to go. I told her to wait and that I would just shower up and go with her, she said that no amount of hot water and soap would wash away the smell of alcohol seeping thru my pores. I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until Monday morning.

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Freedom is our Strength.

And thoughts and prayers.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

If the deceased was irish you may have gone unnoticed.

I have found that family isn't judgmental.

I'll eliminate the spiritual from this discussion with you altogether for obvious reasons.

You pay respect for the person in the casket and look to give comfort to those left behind. I think both have importance.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

It's understandable but if you were really close I would do everything I could to be there. You only get 1 funeral and you'll likely be able to do the same stuff with your family next year.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

When it's an out of town funeral family is more understanding if you can't make it.

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So how did you feel today?

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have them broadcast it on YouTube

Tell your family funerals are a waste of money. Cremation & urn, that's all they should pay for.

You can send him as a stand in he has a suit now

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

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Is there a Ralph's around here?

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way