minor league deal

Once upon a time this guy was an absolute terror on the basepaths. Also an absolute terror in general, punched a cop, got popped for driving while stoned and had a brutal fight w his old lady where she stabbed him w silverware and he gave her a pretty stiff heater to the jaw. He did 50 games for pilates in 2013 while in the midst of a .283/.355/.381 season w 37 (!) steals in only 95 games. Hadn't been the same since, been playing in Nicaraguan league since midseason 2015, so who knows where he skills are. If he's back on his medicine he could be a good player.

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fantasy baseballer here: i can tell you that prior to his "breakout" 2013 season everth cabrera was basically a ~.220 hitter who could obviously steal bases, but he had that classic problem where a speedy guy "can't steal first base"

then 2013 came and he was hitting ~.280 and i think he managed 37SB in roughly half of a season b4 biogenesis popped up, and then ever since then he's kinda meekly returned to being a natural ~.220 hitter who could swipe a lot of bags if he somehow finds a way to get to first base... judging by his minor league deal here, i'm guessing that he didn't find a "natty" way to hit .250+ after the biogenesis SHTF, eh?

but hey, worst case scenario = he's a poorer man's emilio bonifacio and he can be a potentially valuable pinch runner in the mold of dave roberts if you end up having an extra roster spot come mid-october

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There is a reason the best he could get was a minor league deal. There is just no reason to poison your high level minor league teams with this guy. This is like bringing in Jimmy Rollins but the player is terrible and his personality is 10x worse.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

JDC's new favorite player

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."