Kids do dumb things.

Parents of CFMB, what are some of the funniest moments your children put you through?

My daughter, when she was 4, was in a "future-telling" phase.

She told my wife (while laughing) she would die alone.

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My dear departed daughter was really a funny person. Kids humor sometimes though is you have to have been there to see/hear it. Anyway were expecting our second kid and while sitting around asked her (2 1/2 at the time) how we would get the baby out her mom's belly. She deadpanned "with a rope".

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Elections have consequences.

My wife was driving with my older daughter in the car. I was on the phone with them, as we were meeting for dinner and trying to decide where to go. My wife asks Madison what she wants to eat. Her answer, "penguin" (full disclosure, the kid is obsessed with penguins). So my wife asks her what she wants to eat penguin with, fully expecting french fries as the standard response. Madison, "WITH TEETH", and she proceeds to bite her teeth together then laughs maniacally.

From that day forward, anytime she gets fish, she's eating penguin.

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That is the kind of stuff I am talking about. I got a million.

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Elections have consequences.

This is like something out of a Jude Apatow movie.

There was something funny I overheard yesterday about one of the older ones making the younger one walk around in "the bag of shame." I can only imagine how the bag was created and what the shame was to earn it.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I see a thriving message board business in that child's future, followed by an exodus to Arizona.

My son and I were leaving my house for him to get a haircut and my MIL was still over at our house and she was about to leave also. She said to my son "Give me a kiss before you leave cuz I wont see you when you get home."


Son says calm as can be

You can't see me
Along with the John Cena hand wave over his face.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

whoever runs the david kaplan mult needs to get in here stat! #FatherOfTheYear

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When my oldest son, Dr. Ken Jr. I, was young I would frequently ask him something and end it with "Did you hear me?" I'd say it fairly quickly.

After a few years of me doing this, when he was about 5, I said it to him again and he looked back and asked "Why do you always call me 'Jeremy'?

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You know me like that.

I'm not a parent but I helped raise several of my sisters kids. Here are the two hands down funniest stories involving them.
First, I was working 2nd shift,my bedroom was right next to the living room. Every morning the two girls they where like 6 and 4 would blast Barney and Lambchop as I would try to sleep. To this day to to subcutaneous listening I know the words to almost every damn song. Well one day I leap out of bed throw open the door with murder in my eyes and at the top of my lungs scream"Why do you have to listen to it at full volume?' The 6 year old looked at me calmly and replied" How are we supposed to sing along?" With that logic I could not argue, I bought myself ear plugs and dealt with it.

The other story is either horrifying or spit whatever you are drinking through your nose funny. My neighbors are hardcore hunters. They asked if they could dry the skins of their kill on my back fence. I said sure. next morning I amble into the kitchen,my 4 year old nephew
is starting intently out the back window at the fence. I asked "Ben ,what are you looking at?" His reply was" I am waiting for Santas' Reindeer to fly away". I hurriedly shut the blinds and took him to the front of the house.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

My daughter stops whatever she is doing every Monday night when Bayley's music hits or she hear Enzo start his spiel.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

What's actually funnier is when she starts trying to move around like the wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube men and she falls on her ass.

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I actually have video of my son doing the Sasha Banks walkout complete with the glasses. Im saving that for blackmail down the line.

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+
If you put me and your mother in a home, I'll release that video to WWE.gov!

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

At the grocery store with the boy in the cart and an older lady needed help reaching something so she turned to me and asked for help. While i was getting whatever it was down for her my son says "Did you ask my daddy for help because you're super short".

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My son was in the stage where he hated wearing clothes, anytime he would change clothes he would take forever and think it was the height of comedy to run around the house naked. I told him to stop and said "How would you like it if I ran around the house naked?" He fired back right away, "No one would like that Daddy because they don't want to see your big belly."

I blame Peppa Pig and the acceptance of making fun of fat dads.

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I remember running into a midget, not Tall Midget, when my son was about 5 and him pointing and asking why that man was as tall as him. I scooped him up and got the fuck out of there.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

Dude same shit happens to me at the gym I go to. They have a daycare there and the kids hang out while I work out and wife is at work. There is a midget that works there and my son always freaks out when he sees him. I feel like the worst parent ever.

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Me too, it still haunts me.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

Easy solution. Just tell the guy "Sorry, I let my kid watch Game of Thrones and he really hates the Lannisters"

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

never trust a goatee. It's a good motto to live by.

The dad brings it on himself but you cant show kids its OK to make fun of their dad all the time.

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My son is 8 now, but when he was just two, he was an incredible escape artist. We had to put a dead bolt on the front door on which you needed a key for both sides to open, otherwise he would open it from the inside.

On our sliding door we had to install a special deadbolt for that. We keep it now because it's a nice extra security feature. If we all wanted to take a nap, or sleep in, and feel safe, we would even have to unplug that garage door, because he would open the door from the house to the garage, stack up some chairs are push the garage door opener. Little shit...