Palace goes 0-2 against Swansea. It's not even rock bottom either since they're losing Zaha to AFCON. Thanks to all the England managers who have somehow concluded Townsend is a better winger!

two things here...

1) i added a poll for who wins the 16-17 PL, so please stop by and have your voice/s heard!

2) LITTLE KNOWN FACT = whenever future-arsenal-legend Alex Iwobi scores a goal I can't help but blurt out '"AIN'T NO FUN IF IWOBI CAN'T HAVE NONE!!!!" (and i swear to god that only after using that for a few weeks did i realize "hey wait a minute... lol, "iwobi" actually rhymes with "the homies" [from the original lyrics] and that's probably the subconscious reason that I first thought to blurt that out! hey maybe i kinda/sorta don't suck sometimes!"

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ok honestly what the fuck is going on under rooney's left eye here? (to our right) --- all i can think of is that it's like the movie the 6th day where you pull down the eyelid and there's a certain # of dots to show you what clone # you're on, so is this the 6th clone of wayne rooney? seriously wtf is this that i'm seeing?



unless dude has ~6 nearly equal stys under his left eye... dude. this isnt human. and this guy isnt even 30 yet!

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Last chance this upcoming weekend for the Arsenal's "title chances." Season will be over in 2 weeks when Munich beats them 4-0 in the first leg of their Champions League tie.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Dude I've been catching shit from others in #arsenal for continuing my stance that arsenal blew the prem when they went from 1-0 >> 1-2 in one week vs Everton and @ city [while Chelsea was doing 13-0-0, aka "beyond invincible] --- and I technically said on IRC after Saturday's uplifting [midfield-free] win against Southampton B "the most arsenal thing to do would be to bring back the regular XI and come out 10 days rusty and drop points against Watford. Watch them go 50-70 minutes b4 scoring a goal"

There's a reason ppl tolerate my annoying ass; I know what I&m talking about

I PREDICT.... I'm going to wake up early and be like "why did I waste [resources] to get all woowoowoo for 1-4??"

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Also the whole top-7 did am arsenal impression this week, but only arsenal rose up to show y'all how bottling the prem is REALLY done. Watford never scored @ Emirates b4 dumbass Ramsey have em a goal

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Palace needed some easy points against Sunderland and they're getting crushed at the half.

Thomas Preston McToughnuts: Arsenal Plastic du Jour here! That's right, it's partytime for all ~5 of you "soccer guys" and all ~1-3 of you curious onlookers cuz you know what? We here at DOWN WITH THE CANNON(TM) finally got a sponsor for this here column/thread/existential-meandering, and it's none other than LA LIGA ITSELF!



seriously, if that picture doesn't best epitomize all the "fun" that is your average la liga morning/afternoon then idk what does. [technically i had left the barca game streaming on a laptop that i forgot to plug in, so when the barca game meandered to its natural "LOLBARCAWINS" state circa 80something' the battery died and the stream froze in the middle of a LA LIGA logo screen-wipe, so chalk that one up to #AccidentalGreatness, aka my greatest tangible skill =]

AHEM.... but as i said b4 this here is of course DOWN WITH THE CANNON(TM), where your hero and overall guiding light Tommy McToughnuts: Arsenal Plastic du Jour shows up to re-state the obvious for the umpteenth time: HOLY SHIT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EASY 3 POINTS FOR ARSENAL! hell, over in my #arsenal chatroom there's a new/ish guy who back in december up and declared the upcoming mid-week match against everton to be "EZ3" aka "easy 3 points" -- and of course if you remember that everton week kicked off "the week of hell" where arsenal had two games in the span of a week that went from 1-0 >> 1-2 in utterly deflating [and, IMHO, ultimately season-ending] fashion. since then the dude has decided to try and meme the fuck out of EZ3 even tho all of us true blue arsenalites are like "comeon dude... it's not even endearingly ironic/sarcastic" dude keeps on spamming it... and i bring that up cuz games like today are concrete proof that much like TINSTAAFL, TINSTAAET (there is no such thing as an easy 3)

[THE NEXT 4-5 PARAGRAPHS HAVE BEEN REDACTED BECAUSE WE CAN ACCOMPLISH MORE WITH 1 0-DAY PICTURE OF ARSENE WENGER ("only a few months left.jpg") THAN YOU CAN HAVING ME ANALYZE THINGS IN A VERY NON-PLEASANT WAY [[UN]READ: PARAGRAPHS =]]



woops.... that isnt "only a few months left.jpg" that's "dithering arsene.jpg" =P



wait... wtf is "sign him up wonga.jpg" doing here?



holy shit i think i must have forgotten taking ~3+mg of xanax today cuz idk why "lol this dude wants 200k per week.jpg" just came up when i really wanted to show y'all...



dude what the fuck i so didnt try to drop "essence of don tiny.jpg" at this point i might as well throw some random darts into my image folder and see what i get...



why i uh..... ummmm..... dude i just wanted to drop "only a few months left.jpg"



so wonga's out? fuckin ell m8...so now who can save >us all? what's this file i saved as "the hero we need.png" ????



DUDE... "Fully Kommited Wardrobe.jpg" (if you dont know i'm playing on FKWs aka "full kit wankers") WTF SOMEONE STOP PUTTING KOLLONOPIN IN MY CINNAMON TOAST BRUNCH *moloko-plus burp* WHERE IS THE HERO WE NEED WITH OR WITHOUT A .JPG!?!!?



#FreeLucas!!!!!!!

fin. not that this is over (cuz my bullshit never ends >=) but just a friendly that our hero and protagonist "fin shepard" will be back ASAP because sharknado 5 is coming soon cuz.... shit, at this point they should just add the surtitle "why not?" to one of these sharknado 5/+ movies... you know, "Why not?" as in the raison d'etre (if you will) of my whole posting steez here. c'est la vie, no? -- AS THE FRENCH IN FRANCE WOULD SAY </APimpNamedSlickback>

[b](k)2009-17 thee thirtyseven caustic defenestration [not for threes] company.

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It's that time of year. The most wondrous time. The knockout round of the UEFA Champions League; where we can watch the same handful of clubs battle it out year after year! I'm done with the EPL. It's a Chelsea thing. Fun little logjam for the rest of the top four, though. Who ya got in the CL? I'm thinking Munich or Man City wins it. Pep's gonna go balls deep for this competition since he knows he can't win the league. Munich might be too old. Maybe Juventus. I just don't want any Spanish teams in the final.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

juventus ain't gonna win the CL... #comeonson. they've only got a, what, ~7pt lead in serie A? and they are to serie A what buyern is to 1.bundesliga so 7pts right now = not the most triumphant start to a season.

obviously RM/barca/buyern are up there in their own class/category (i personally go with "Football Death Star") and seeing as RM won last year that would mean barca/buyern are more likely "due" --- city's probably another year off from serious CL contention; let pep splash the cash to the tune of another ~150mil/+ and clear out some of the [relative] deadwood on that team and then i'll believe it. you do have a point that pep's at city to win the CL, but i dont think its this year. he's gotta sort out his "sweeper keeper" wet dreams, likely upgrade the fernando/inho roles/positions, probably get some kind of young throughbred LB/RB in there (think alaba from buyern) and hope that another year of experience gets gabriel jesus that much closer to officially supplanting/outright-displacing aguero [as someone like nolito is likely a cheaper version of wilfried bony for them)

but hey you never know... lord knows city should THEORETICALLY be better than they are (at least within 3-5pts of chelsea) and therefore a legit CL threat... and bravo hasn't been THAT bad to the extent where you say they have no chance in the CL cuz their goalkeeper = causing sights like this all across the world....



so at the end of the day i'll say that barcelona wins the CL (as a consolation prize for quite possibly letting RM win la liga for the first time since the mourinho era!)

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That beating PSG gave Barca! So satisfying.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

yeah i didnt exactly cover myself in glory by saying that "barca or buyern is probably due this year" but hey did i not call what happened today? anyone notice the thread title here? my avatar?

you know, on IRC after the game when i got a bunch of "i'm sorry emessiah"s (as i'm pretty much the most vociferous arsenal guy in #soccer on the regular, and i dont run and hide when, say, koscielny goes off injured and gabriel comes in and a taut 1-1 game suddenly becomes 3-1 in the span of ~5-7mins and then arsenal "Assumes the position" and yeah) but when some dippy manutd fan did his drive by LOLing i had to retort "dude you know i've watched arsenal every game for the last 4 seasons so what happened today isn't surprising, moreover it's pretty much to be expected. obviously it sucks to actually watch it happen, but it doesnt ruin me because at the end of the day expecting arsenal to defeat buyern over 2 legs is akin to getting pissed off that your toaster can't make you a proper milkshake; it just doesn't work that way!"

honestly, the more time goes on the more and more i'm willing to give up "the devil i know" and even risk a fate worth than death (thursday football) to maybe see what someone else other than wenger can do. to give you an idea of how bad today was, after the game alexi lalas noted that an arsenal fan on twitter gave him shit b4 the game for calling arsenal "soft" and he said "you know, i made a mistake in calling arsenal 'soft'.... they were 'flaccid' today!" --- and when you got alexi lalas looking good off of your unequivocal sucktitude.... well c'est la fucking vie, no?

hey maybe there's something to allegri purposely pulling a pep and leaving juve, and "no comment"ing the fuck out of the rumors that he's already talking with arsenal. wrighty [ian wright] says that wonga's done after this season, and maybe just maybe somebody else can do something that's technically higher risk (meaning risking the "4th place / surviving your CL group" gravy train) for an actual reward?

hey you know it's probably not an accident that coming off of back to back FA cup victories arsenal's main shirt/stadium sponsor, emirates, went and sponsored the FA cup. that's the most arsenal trophy there is [and keep in mind that wenger has won more FA cups than anyone IIRC] and if arsenal loses @ whoever the hell "Sutton" is on monday then you'll be able to "lol sini" via "lol arsenal" to your heart's content, cuz winning the FA cup is about the max for my realistic arsenal dreams entering any given season to be brutally honest.

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btw, after the loss yesterday this picture make me legit-LOL and get my wits back about me:

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Saw it coming a mile away. It really seems like Arsenal have taken some severe ass poundings the last few years. I know Liverpool did a 5-1 on them. Didn't City beat them like 6-3? And Chelsea wang-whipped them once or twice. This was really the year to make a statement in the CL. The Spanish clubs are down and Munich is old. Now you watch, with all the pressure gone Arsenal will make another late season surge to secure another top 4 spot.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

saw it coming from a mile away? ass-poundings you say? i completely forgot to link this picture i did in the buildup/countdown to the game on wednesday:



but yeah, i call 4th-place/CL-Group-survival "the gravy train" for a reason--- it's pretty obvious that wenger/the-board have in/directly let the lads know that as long as you make 4th/+ and qualify for the CL every season [and then survive your CL group to make it to the knockout rounds] that everything's going to be OK; heads aren't gonna roll, arsene won't start yanking people out of the starting XI and looking to see if, example, LUCAS CAN DO BETTER THAN IWOBI OR OX (the two worst players on the pitch on wednesday) and everything will "keep on keeping on" as long as arsenal maximizes their $$$ by perpetually being "the lamest guy at the cool kids party"

hell, maybe they don't actually wanna win trophies because parades cost too much $$$? =P

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To be fair to Ox, I thought he had been the best player for Arsenal in the 3 prior matches and was pushed to the right simply to accommodate Xhaka. No idea what's going on with Perez and Wellbeck continuing to ride the bench though.

wow, filed under "what have you done for me lately?" claudo rainieri has been fired as LCFC manager ~25 games into his next season after winning [read: refballing? =] the PL title with leicester fucking city.

tho i suppose it's worth pointing out that he's led LCFC to the worst ~25 game start by a defending champion in the history of the premier league, but still... damn. even after their CL RO16 outing (1-2 road loss @ sevilla) you could be like "hey they're only down 1 and they got a road goal, so they advance with a 1-0 win at home!" but uhhh.... wow. just wow.

i think it's also pretty fair to say that raineri lost his best player over the summer: n'golo kante. seriously, look at LCFC last year and look at LCFC this year and tell me that kante wasn't seriously "the goods" who ended up being centrifugal to this team's success! how's he doing with his new team? winning the prem seems to be his thing nowadays, huh?

also i'm beyond fucking glad that arsenal didnt get vardy this summer (despite having to spend all of august-into-sept hearing from match commentators that ONCE AGAIN arsenal failed to get their #1 summer target, jamie vardy. F that noise... vardy was never gonna leave LCFC.... none of the other top-6 PL teams were gonna "Fall for the vardy meme" and only arsenal formally entertained his agent's queries [which they wanted to use to leverage a better extension/deal from LCFC] just so they could turn around and go to us arsenalites "see? we really tried to get someone in here b4 the euros!" --- bullshit all around.

i'm way better with "spanish vardy" aka lucas, but now stories are popping up where supposedly lucas' agent is saying he wants out (17 apps / 8 goals in all comps, or wait now 18/9 with the goal at sutton, but yeah... seriously there's a reason for the #FreeLucas! movement: everytime the guy gets on the pitch [he's involved in] good things happen[ing]-- seriously, there's no way in hell iwobi [or especially ox, or well, double-especially iwobi i guess?] should be starting over lucas right now. i'd even argue him over theo/giroud, but at least i can understand them. iwobi tho? wtf?

(prior to his goal against sutton on monday...) Lucas has played 457 minutes for Arsenal across all competitions. In that time he has scored 8 goals and 3 assists. That is a direct contribution to a goal roughly every 42 minutes or ignoring assists, it's a goal every 57 minutes.

by comparison iwobi has 4 goals and 3 assists in 1716 minutes (of course, b4 monday's start @ sutton united where i'm pretty sure he added more minutes sans goal/s or assist/s =)

ANYWAYS



OPINION DISCARDED!



you're lucky i don't know you IRL or else this is grounds for a 51/50 exam =P



well, right now arsenal doesn't have a legit central midfielder on the side. santi cazorla is perma-crocked for the year [just a day or two ago i saw that he's preparing for august now] and aaron ramsey is aaron ramsey... if you trot him out regularly for a month or two he's gonna pull a hammy for ~4-6 weeks LIKE CLOCKWORK [ok this time it's a calf but it's ~4-6 weeks so yeah] -- so to enter a season with ONLY "old man arsenal" santi cazorla and aaron "4-6 weeks" ramsey [remember: wilshere is on a non-recallable loan @ bournemouth, and up until last monday's match @city he had actually been fit all season! #lolwat?! =] -- IT'S CRIMINALLY NEGLIGIBLE IMHO!

but then you see, wenger is a dreamer and therefore he dreams of elneny and ESPECIALLY xhaka as being "box to box" CMs as opposed to the DMs [that they were bought as] -- last season wenger got away with playing coquelin/el-neny [read: 2 holding mids] in a couple'a games against lesser sides, and it gave arsenal a pretty good look with a bit more defense, so i think he fell in love with the idea of "the coq as his rock" and then [essentially] meme-ing el-neny/xhaka into a box-to-box CM, hoping that he could "get away with" 2 holding mids to supplant his defense, but then he could, say, have his ~35mil DM purchase from the summer start to evolve into a more box-to-box/offensive-engine CM as opposed to, say, a dumbass/hotheaded DM who led the bundesliga in cardings FOR THE LAST 3 SEASONS BEFORE COMING TO ARSENAL! (so go figure xhaka would go to learn me that "hey you get a 4 game suspension when you get your 2nd straight-red in a match! #IDidNotKnowThat cuz its not like i've ever followed a team with sergio ramos or something =)

[random thought: would kante have to come to arsenal if you offered LCFC ~40mil GBP for the x-fer and then offered him higher wages than chels...HAHHAHAHA ok i know sorry i thought it was worth a laugh tho =]

AHEM. so basically, with cazorla perma-crocked, ramsey perma-[about-to-be-crocked], and wilshere unavailable for recall, that's where OX @ CM has come in to play.... and honestly, i fucking hate ox with a passion, but i'd pretty much rather see him at CM alongside coquelin-OR-xhaka-OR-elneny [read: DM] as opposed to seeing, say, xhaquelin [coq + xhaka] or especially coq + elneny, cuz i can tell you that the 1-1 draw @ old trafford earlier this season was easily the worst arsenal performance i've seen in my lifetime [i started every-gaming it up in 13-14, so that covers 1-5 @anfield, 0-5 @stamford bridge, and even 1-5 @buyern] because i mean... dude, even tho giroud nicked a magic equalizer in ST, DAVID DE GEA MADE *0* SAVES ALL GAME!!! seriously, arsenal with 2 holding mids can't bring the ball up past midfield consistently against quality opposition [read: how they went from 1-0 >> 1-2 against city to cap off "the week of hell" where they went from 1-0 >> 1-2 twice in a week and effectively bottled the prem [to a then "on a 13-0-0 run" chelsea side]]

and uhhh yeah. you know the situation is dire when i'd actually want to see ox out there..... but at this juncture i just want us to be able to bring up the ball past midfield, and then you wanna have lucas out there instead of [at least] iwobi cuz like... man. idk. the nepotism under wenger is literally costing us ballgames to such an extent where once again we havent even hit march yet and it's like the FA Cup is once again our only hope [the one tournament/trophy that's "so arsenal" that our main shirt/stadium sponsor began sponsoring it after we won it back to back in 2014-15 =]

TLDR = FUCK OX, FUCK IWOBI, AND FUCK ANYONE WHO AINT 100% BEHIND #FREELUCAS! COME ON YOU GUNNERS; DON'T BOTTLE THE FA CUP (a tournament that you "don't lose" more than you actually "win" =)

THANK YOU / DRIVE THROUGH,

# THOMAS P. MCTOUGHNUTS: ARSENAL PLASTIC DU JOUR

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oh yeah, and a cynical / conspiratorial person might say that since alex iwobi plays for nigeria [even tho he's as british as the word/term "innit" i'm pretty sure he realized he wasn't gonna crack england [ever] and decided to "embrace his nigerian heritage" internationally-footballing-speaking] that he's probably responsible for a lot of arsenal fans / kit-sales in nigeria [in much the same way that dude "park" was that for worst korea or japan or wherever the hell he was from] so MAYBE, just maybe, wenger's keen to give iwobi EVERY CHANCE TO PROVE THAT HE BELONGS [and thensome] simply because it's good business for arsenal to feature a nigerial international [player] in their starting XI more often than not, cuz you know those iwobi kits aint gonna sell themselves [especially as he continues to regress from the "cromulent" performances we saw earlier in the season. iwobi looked like a deer in headlights @ buyern tbh]

so yeah, if you wanna say that arsenal only cares about the bottom line [finish 4th/+ to ensure CL qualification to get the ~25-35mil cut of the CL TV $$$ pie every year, and make sure you've got a truly "international" side chock full of [marketable] players, and then don't shake up the status quo too much because wenger + the lads will keep on keeping on with the 4th-place/survive-your-CL-group gravy train year-in/year-out to maximize the serious chunks of revenue you get, and then if you bottle the prem annually or become a laughing stock when IT'S KNOCKOUT TIME! in the CL every year? WGAF?!?! they're rolling in the dough over @ the emirates because they make a lot of $$$, they don't annually spend 100-300mil every summer to "buy" their perennial CL qualification/knockouts, and everyone's pockets are lined and everyone's beaks are wet and lord knows if sir chips keswick is happy then EVERYONE IS HAPPY so what the fuck is wrong with your miserable ass, piers? =P

AHEM. so if you wanna say that arsenal only cares about $$$THE BOTTOM LINE$$$ and winning/trophies/etc comes in 2nd, well then maybe that's why i'm spending too much time deifying lucas** via #FreeLucas! as opposed to, say, trotting iwobi out there because he has a broader appeal to a region of the world that otherwise might not give a toss about arsenal if they weren't starting a nigerian international more often than not; even tho Lucas is clearly the better player!

[please see a few posts above re: IT'S KNOCKOUT TIME! -- over 20,000 hours in mspaint went into that one, you know =]

** = in terms of deifying lucas, i'm pretty sure he could cure cancer, walk on water, bring peace to the middle east, and even get roman reigns over in WWE... IF HE COULD EVER GET ON THE DAMN PITCH! and the best part about deifying lucas = he's never gonna get played enough to prove me wrong, so the sky's the limit in terms of his untapped powers/abilities/awesomeness/etc.

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BBC SportVerified account @BBCSport
Barcelona boss Luis Enrique has confirmed he will step down at the end of the season.

wow, well let's all have a legit moment of silence for barcelona. we can joke about their fans, but they are a long-suffering lot.... i mean ~10 months since their last la liga title, ~22 months since their last CL victory.... and this season all they could realistically manage is a domestic double [assuming they dont have a historic CL comeback in the 2nd leg?] --- man oh man, i couldn't imagine the horrors of being a barcelona fan. here we are on 1 march and they might not win la liga? this is unacceptable because la liga was created for barcelona to win it, and now even tho real madrid is down 1-3 to las palmas circa ~60' it's still looking like they have a chance? holy shit enrique OUT!

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Arsene has to be trolling with this team today. Clearly Alexis has been the guy most deserving of being dropped to the bench.

Holy shit, Barcelona.

FTFY. to give you an idea, as i was watching circa 70'something i saw barca down 3-5 agg [PSG had just gotten a cavani header to get the all-important away goal that took a game at 3-4 agg (where a[n inevitable] 4th barca goal sends it to extra time) to 3-5 and P$G has away goals (meaning barcelona needs 3 to win/advance, as 2/draw has them eliminated on away goals).... and neymar and suarez were flopping hardcore, and at one point suarez is crying to the refs like COMEON DUDE so i got this screencap here...


"look luis [suarez], i really wanna help you guys out here... i really really do, but you took the game out of my hands when you allowed cavani to get that header! sorry dude!

and you know joking here nad there, cuz i think ti was ~82' where it was still barca 3-5 PSG agg and ofc PSG has that all-important-away goal [as 1st leg was PSG 4-0 Barca] so barca needs 3 to win in appx 18-22' and oh yeah right around 80-82' they get a guy sent off so barca is at 10 men.

welp, somewhere along the way this happens...


"OMFG GUYS I DIDN'T BOTTLE THAT SITTER, I'M REALLY REALLY HURT 5-REAL HERE!!!"

(aka "i bet you LvG taught him how to that" -- referencing the 2014 world cup where the one goalie for chile or colombia or something made a big save or 2 in a pen shootout and then-incoming manutd manager louis van gaal was like "I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO DO THAT WHEN I HAD HIM AT AZ ALKAMMAR[whatever]")

and then since adm failed to not-bottle-the-DAGGER*, of course at 90+1' barca gets a BIG MUCH NEEDED PENALTY [see ref$ above] to make it 5-5agg, but PSG still advancing on that away goal so now barca has to score in the next/final 1-2mins of ST in order to win....

and we call it LOLBARCAWINS for a reason, do we not? aka #UEFAlonaGonnaUEFAlona, amirite? =P

BUT HEY, at the end of the day just LOOK at the suffering in these oft-tortured fans' eyes...



and let's #RiseAboveHate as we contemplate how truly horrible it must be to go 10 WHOLE MONTHS since your last domestic double (la liga + la copa del rey) and AN UNFATHOMABLE 22 MONTHS SINCE YOUR LAST CL VICTORY?!?!?! HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE NOT KNOWN SUFFERING UNTIL YOU KNOW BARCELONA!!!! their manager's doing a walk of shame cuz he only followed up a treble with that domestic double and at the time of his impending-resignation announcmeent barca was 2ND in la liga and they were dead men walking in the CL and rah rah.... so you know, let's try to be some big/better people here and give a barca supporter a much needed hug cuz can you imagine the kind of humiliation they'd face in their day to day lives if they went TWO WHOLE SEASONS WITHOUT WINNING THE CL AND/OR A TREBLE?!!?!? seriously, it makes you wonder why people even bother with "the beautiful game" when they have to put up with unfathomable suffering like that!

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sini, what do you think of Emery as a potential Wenger replacement? I was impressed with his ability to keep his team together today!

Thought Palace was dead in the water but they've won 4 in a row.

BIG SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Palace fans bringing fireworks and flares into the stadium and setting them off was quite old school. The announcers would awkwardly pause after each bang making sure it wasn't anything worse before continuing.

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Palace up 2-0 on the Arse, looking good again.

Edit: 3-0

Time for Wegner to go.

Fuck.

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and it's time for tommy p. mctoughnuts, esq with yet another update for your ARSENAL MINUTE...

[drum roll]



honestly, after that 0-3 @ crystal pallardyce debacle i just kind of went numb.... it wasn't the "arsenal fatigue" that i suffered last season after that crushing mid-week loss to swansea (the one where joel campbell was obviously MOTM but still the first sub off circa 60' like clockwork) all the way up until tottnumb bottled it at the end [btw i saw a beta-looking-friendzoner walking down addison in a spurs jersey the other day so i told him HEY I LOOK FORWARD TO DELE ALLI JOINING REAL MADRID VIA YOUR "TACTICAL PARTNERSHIP" WITH THEM.... [LOOK IT UP]... I CAN FINALLY SEE HIM PLAY NEXT YEAR! AND HEY NO MATTER WHAT ENJOY CRASHING AND BURNING OUT OF THE CL NEXT SEASON.... AND YOU CAN PUT THAT ON DVD!"

so uhhhhh yeah, monday vs boro i was just.... free! i didn't care about the table, i didnt care about our games in hand like "ok if we get 6pts then we need to do [this and that] and we have a chance if we can win the NLD in a cpl weeks" --- it's like, "wow is this what midtable football feels like? you know you're not going up, you're not going down, you're just kinda going....... to the liquor store!" --- and yeah my banter was off-the-charts good monday as i made fun of arsenal so well it's no wonder that the one time i watched a FA cup final @ the globe i managed to befriend someone who has arsenal season tickets in london [so i got a hookup to see an arsenal game @ emirates if/when i make it out to the mother nipple]

so yeah, having subconsciously acknowledged that "the gig is up" re: top-4/CL/no-thursday-football after the 0-3 @CP last monday, i had a rollicking good time vs boro last monday and sunday morning's FA cup semifinal vs city = very likely the last arsenal game that "matters" this year, and therefore i'll be invincible like boris in goldeneye until the end of the season....

....then we find out wonga has signed a new 2yr deal cuz he's not gonna let other ppl force him out of Arsene FC, right? you know, Arsene FC = where bumslayers like lucas perez can average a goal or assist every 42mins through his first 17-19 arsenal apps [against lesser competition] BUT DUDE CAN'T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING SQUAD FOR THE LAST MONTH WHILE WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF OX AND IWOBI ["wenger guys" who arsene can "take credit for" if they ever come good, so they get all the opportunities over guys like joel campbell and lucas perez, who can literally be the best player on the pitch and they'll still be the first sub off and then mysteriously absent from team sheets for the next 4-6+ weeks.... #FreeLucas!

oh yeah fuck i forgot the mantra of this post [assist to "Caller Bob"] ----


speaking of, how about that juventus, huh? and monaco? lol

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