You were asked to leave (or was escorted out of) an establishment. What happened?


Features in Naperville. About 8 years ago my wife and I joined some friends for a night out. We were about to leave when both of us decided to hit the bathrooms before getting into a cab. The men's line was substantially shorter (as is always the case), and the women's line wasn't going anywhere.

It's my turn to use the men's room when my wife, who had been waiting for quite awhile, rushed in with me. You would have thought we were closing a drug deal or filming a scat film the way the bouncers started pounding on the bathroom door.

They promptly escorted us both out and were asked to not come back. Thinking back, at least we were leaving anyway.

I did a tripod on the dance floor and was kicked in the stomach by a bouncer and then he said time to go home. They didn't say I couldn't come back.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

When I was 18, I threw a super ball at Royce Clayton from the upper deck of The Rate. As I was being escorted out, Jose Canseco stole his 200th career base. This was before the Ligue & Laz Diaz incidents, so all that happened was that I was kicked out of the park. I don't remember if I was drunk or sober, or why I did it but whatever. Clayton sucked anyway.

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Never been kicked out of an establishment, personally.

A buddy was booted from Durty Nellies for brushing against a girl in the back room during a jam packed show.

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Where Else down at Purdue during breakfast club. Girlfriend was puking in a garbage can in the middle of the place. Getting kicked out of a bar at noon on a bright sunny fall day is a strange feeling.

Red Head Piano Bar. I was aggressively singing and playing 'air piano' to Sweet Caroline in some random persons face (during the DAH DAH DAH part).

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As freshman in college my buddy and I got fake IDs from my buddy in Canada. I was from Calgary and he was from Edmonton.

We tested them at all the easy bars and they worked. Then we went to the popular bar as we were drunk and lost our inhibition. We both got waved through by the doorman and then we walked into the bar and gave each other hi-fives. We were instantly kicked out.

I have never been thrown out of an establishment. I know how to behave.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Another time I was visiting some buddies at U of I for IU/UofI game. We were drinking all day and then went to the bar. I unfortunately got unruly drunk. The bartenders were being way too slow. And I yelled at one "Where's my drink you fat bitch"

I was asked to leave. I did without any resistance. I was/am not proud of that moment.

BACKSTABBER??

i giess the FREE MESSAGE BOARD for the guy who doesnt work doesnt count as a ESTABLISHMENT!

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Last year during Wine Week I fell asleep at Tavern on Rush.

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Freedom is our Strength.

On a road trip to Ohio State we were pent up with energy after making the 6+ hour drive to get there. We started drinking and acting fools at one of the bars. The bar was closing soon but we "killing it" on the dance floor. This girl unexpectedly jumped into my arms and I dropped her. We both were sent out of the establishment.

Never been thrown out of anywhere due to my own actions, but I've been tossed due to actions by a friend.

When I was 17 or 18 I was tossed out of Bowling Green with my friends because one of my friends who threw shotput on the track team decided to shotput his bowling ball down our lane. The ball landed on our lane (quite loudly as one would expect), and then bounced on the lane to the right of us and knocked down 3 pins on that lane. Someone who worked there saw the whole thing and we were tossed instantly.

GONE

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This thread should be re-named "List all the times Kirkwood acted like a braindead Millennial Jackass"

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one night at gold star (on division) i was sitting at the bar sipping a stella when some heifer/ish chick pulled up a stool and started to hit on me. she asked me what i do for a living, and since i was [caricature that the board knows and loves] i gave her a rather colorful euphemism: i travel through time and space for a living. this resulted in a HUH?! so i had to break it down even simpler: i'm a time traveler.

now if you stop and think about it, welp, as you stopped and thought you technically just traveled through time, and since the earth is perpetually orbiting the sun then you've also just technically moved through space, ergo, "i travel through time and space" is a colorful euphemism for saying i'm doing nothing; but since ol girl was rather daft [you have to be if you're hitting on me] i decided to have some fun with her to test out my powers of bullshitting.

so of course she giggles and starts asking me token stuff about the future, so i tell her to pick a random year and she'd go UHHH, 2428, and i'd spin some trek-style jargon about how that's the year of the tri-concordia accords where the talaxians and the afrika-bambaataans' perpetual enmity spilled into terrestrial earth so the fourth great and bountiful human empire decided to convene three separate commissions at concordia to work out [blah blah blah].

i was doing better at this then that i am now, so she had actually called over a couple'a friends to "get a load of this guy" and i had an audience of three chicks perma-grinning as i was just wielding copious amounts of bullshit at a rather high level. i was waiting for her to ask the inevitable question: "so what are you doing here?" when she got to that i told her that i believe in this timeline you have a television channel called "American Movie Classics" that occasionally has "Movie Marathons" -- well akin to a "Movie Marathon" i'm going through history "marathonning" the great cataclysms of earth, you know pompeii on "volcano day", the 1906 san francisco earthquake, nagasaki, etc. i love to show up in town a day or two before the shit hits the fan and get a sense of what life is like, experience the culture, then kick back and watch it all go to hell as i calmly exit stage left to go on to the next one.

she HAD to ask the inevitable question: "lol, so what's going to happen here in chicago?" - i stuck up my index finger and quickly retorted "interdimensional time-law prohibits me from telling you about events that might or might not affect the integrity of your timeline, but i CAN tell you this with divine providence: don't wear flipflops tomorrow.... it's pretty fucking hard to run from the apocalypse in flip flops, you know what i'm saying?"

i got a standing ovation from the girl and her two friends and just kinda tipped my cap and did a thumbs up and went to freshen up my stella, however the bartender told me "you've clearly had too much already so i'm going to need you to take that last sip of your beer and leave immediately" i was incredulous like "dude, did you see what i did? i just was just bullshitting with a lame girl hitting on me and i did good enough for her to call over two friends and give me a standing ovation, and you're telling me that i'm over-served? what, do you have to suck to be allowed to drink here?" -- "i don't care just please go"

i think i tried coming back ~4-5 months later but the dude working the door saw me and said "oh hell no, dude, no, we've got a bunch of people in there and we're not dealing with you tonight!" so yeah, i effectively got kicked out of AND banned from gold star on division for being a time traveler!

HONORABLE MENTION: of course, i went back a few years later [as a friend who used to work there was having his "i'm back in town!" reunion there] and while i was outside smoking some chick i hadn't seen in my life b4 came out screaming "I DONT KNOW YOU!!! I DONT KNOW YOU AT ALL!!!" and started physically wailing on me with kicks/punches/spit to such an extent that my forearms and shins were completely bruised for weeks. so after she wailed on me for ~2-3mins straight some chick comes outside and grabs her and pulls her away, putting her arm around her consoling her while the doorman comes outside and goes "ok, you're going to have to go right now" and i'm like "so let me get this straight.... i'm standing outside minding my own business and some chick i've ever seen before comes outside screaming I DONT KNOW YOU!!! can physically assault me and spit on me nonstop and *I* get kicked out? ...for getting randomly assaulted for no reason?" -- "dude, just go!" -- "seriously, fuck this bar this place is some kind of a fucking joke for people i can pretty honestly say that i'm better than!"

TLDR = so with just 1 bar, gold star chicago, i've been kicked out + banned for being a time traveler, and i've also been kicked out for having some girl i've never seen before come outside and physically assault me to such an extent that my forearms and shins were bruised for a week+ afterwards (maybe when i was blocking all of her attacks i shouldnt have been like "you suck at this, let me help you!" and punched myself in the head a few times, but what can i say? it was like keanu yawning while blocking the agent's kung-fu with one hand at the end of the matrix =) --- TLDR TLDR = FUCK GOLD STAR!

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i was denied re-entry into headquarters on sheffield for no reason. our group was slightly intoxicated after a cubs rooftop game. i left the bar to take a phone call and the doorman wouldn't let me back in.

my cousin, his friends and i were kicked out of cubby bear after a cubs/tribe game. it was his bachelor party. one person in the party was too drunk to stand and fell backwards onto a patio table. and then my cousin said some inappropriate things to a bartender. so the party was asked to leave.

Posts: 13637


Sini....Did Not Happen

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oh yeah, and a creepy addendum to my honorable mention story [the girl i didnt know randomly assaulting me] -- after i'm told to leave i start walking back up division to rainbo club [ken ellis works there; nuff said] and as i make it like ~1 block from gold star i see a brand new shirt laying on the ground... i pick it up and it's a southern comfort shirt in my size that says "DRINKING RESPONSIBLY IS HOT!!!" with $25 under it..... yep, someone was fucking with me via ol girl. i can only assume i passed the test?



edit: the second ~$15-20 was under a new "mission impossible: ghost protocol" shirt (but at that point they were just showing off =)

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B+B (Beef and Brandy) on Lagrange Rd in Countryside. Walked in with some people who had been kicked out before, got sent right back out. I think they were originally kicked out for squeezing a butter pod and it exploding onto a plastic plant

Neither have I.

This might be the greatest board upset ever.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Don't feel left out folks. If you'd like, you are more than welcome to step foot on my property for me to immediately ask you to leave.

Got a little too mouthie with some thin skinned bouncers in Wrigleyville a few times.

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A woman that was a receptionist at this place I used to work on the northside got her niece that had just got out of college in Atlanta a job as a receptionist. Her niece was somewhat attractive but had a GREAT body and was really fit. She asked me the Friday of the first week she was there what were some good clubs to go to. I told her a few and gave her my number in case she needed "help". That Saturday I go to a strip club with a lady friend in the south suburbs and she is on the stage. Her body was somehow better than I had even imagined. I forgot where I was at and went to the stage and "touched". She didn't object but told me not to tell her aunt. I continue touching and get a tap on the shoulder from the bouncers asking me to leave.


Another time was work related. I went to a potential clients home to close a deal. I drove about 60 miles to get there and when I arrived it was clear that both had been drinking. The husband isn't drunk but the wife is definitely feeling good. She didn't matter because I didn't need her signature. I should have still left because I knew that he couldn't legally sign anything but I stayed. From the moment we sat down his wife started flirting. I acted like she was invisible and an hour later he's signing but she's getting worse. He FINALLY gets pissed and asked me to leave. I don't move and try to convince him to sign the last 2 documents. He's not having it and goes to his room and reaches under his bed. I grab my bag and immediately get the hell out of there. He literally calls me an hour later to see if I could come back. I didn't. I love money but I love my life more.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

I dont think I have ever been kicked out of a bar. Cut off, but never kicked out.


Back in 2003, our band was playing the now defunct shit hole dive of Champs Rock Room in Burbank. There were two really awful metal bands before us, and most of the crowd, which probably numbered about 60-70 total, was there to see us. Of course they were running late, so our set was cut a little short which we really didn't mind. However, about 5 songs in to our 45-50 minute st they told us we had time for one more which pissed us all off. We played out longest song, and in the middle of it our singer started taunting the sound guys, then kicked their micstand and it broke in half. The house lights went on, but we finished the song. We were told to leave and we were not booked again.

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Alice Cooper'stown in Phoenix.

Those fucks took our drink orders, served us and then tried to hit us up for a $35 cover charge to see Jimmie Vaughn.

No mention of this on the way in and 15 minutes later they tell us to "slam our drinks" and leave. We had just finished a round of golf and wanted to chill.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

Been thrown out of the bowling alley twice.

First time was as a teen for pretty much the same reason as your friend. After fucking around all night at the alley with my friends and doing shit like throwing 4 balls down a lane at once, I decided I was going to try and put some spin on a ball. I had no idea what I was doing and when I threw the ball it went into the lane next to us on the right and hopped into next lane over, knocking over some pins. We were asked to leave immediately.

The second time was for buying my underaged friends beer. I was the first one of the group to turn 21 so it was on me to go get the pitchers of beer. The person behind the counter noticed we were young and told us to leave before she called the cops. We heckled her on the way out.

Got kicked out of a wedding party once my friends and I weren't invited to.

Went to Skybox on Halsted about 10 years ago for a friends bachelor party. He was with a few of the boys earlier in the day drinking and by the time the bus came to pick everyone up at his house he was damn near blacked out drunk.
We got to Skybox and I ordered 20 beers exactly because they had $1 bottles that night. We didnt even get the waitress over to our table with the beers yet and we had been thrown out as the groom decided to try and shove a dollar bill directly into the girl that was on stage 1's vagina as she bent over in front of him. She screamed and turned around and slapped him in the face and grabbed security. The largest man I've ever seen proceeded to lift the groom up by his waste and escort him out the door.

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i can relate here. i didn't get kicked out, but the one and only time i went to heavenly bodies [friend's birthday circa age 21-22] after figuring out the "free drinks" hustle [i.e. you HAVE to get drinks through a waitress and they only come back if you tip the shit out of them] i ended up doing 2x$15 lap-dances in the back room. i couldn't help but do what came naturally to me while ol girl was grinding away, but she was totally cool about it and i only needed that one "hey now!" to be reminded of where i was.... and that i had technically just spent $30 on 4-5mins that could have instead been used for a bag of weed that would have lasted me 1-2 days. i've never been back to a strip club since!

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He was just testing what the boundaries were. Total overreaction.

that's called "taking one for the team" -- i don't think you did anything wrong, gay!

on the topic, i remember going to chicago's erstwhile premier punk rock venue, the fireside bowl on fullerton, when i was ~15-16 and seeing some nights where they'd str8up sell beers to 12 year olds (let alone my ~15-16 year old mutton-chopped ass)... and then i've seen other nights where they were literally carding members of one of the band performing like "wtf?" -- you know you did well when they "opened up the lanes" to give all of us lil [wannabe?] punkers some extra space, a risky proposition because whenever that happened you inexorably ended up with puke in the gutters ("[12] year olds, dude, [12] year olds..." =)

edit: if any of you go back to the fireside bowl days, i once saw a local chicago punk/ska outfit called "The Eclectics" there. they had a big fat balck singer named "fat roy" who sang songs about, example, how clark and belmont was the center of the universe [presumably to little suburban wannabe-punkers].... i still have my eclectics shirt for when i wanna just kinda go "yeap" but if ANYONE (and i mean anyone) can somehow dig up a copy of that eclectics song about clark and belmont being the center of the universe you'd make my life! good luck!

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Bachelor Parties are a totally different animal. One time we couldn't even get into Industrial Strip because we were so drunk. The party bus dropped us off we got out and they took one look at us at the front door and told us to turn around.

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