1. "Then all of a sudden..."

2. "Next thing you know..."

3. "Shout out to..."

Examples

Goff: So my boy Julio is at the house. We're gettin' drunk. Then all of a sudden, he's hitting on my girl. I was too drunk to care. So I went to bed. Woke up the next morning, next thing you know my girl is telling me that Julio done knocked her up. And that I would have to pay for the abortion cuz no way in hell Julio is paying for it.

Goff: So I'm at a strip club last night. A one legged stripper came up to me for a lap dance. Ya know, shout out to one legged strippers, ya gotta do what you gotta do, but I ain't down with that.

"right there for ya" has got to be #1.

Shoutout to blind strippers, you really gotta hand it to 'em.

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We gonna do this? (to Meat, not Bernstein)

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Goff is so 1990s. Kids don't do "shout outs" anymore. That went away when Arsenio Hall went away.

The kids don't call the house "the crib" anymore either.

I think this board shamed him out of doing this. Cuz I haven't heard it in a while. Even in his last few months with Spiegel.

I wish we could shame him out of the damn laughing.

This guy is gay

The worst of all time.

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He's like Ted McGinley. You bring him in when your show is dying and all it does is accelerate the death spiral.

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Bernstein: What do you have against one legged women?

Goff: It's just a thing. Ya know, what if I were to fall in love with one? Then we'd have a kid with one leg. I don't want that so I avoid them.

Bernstein: Jason, having one leg isn't hereditary. I'm sure there was an accident.

Goff: Shut up, Duke boy. What do you know? My mom told me it was hereditary so it's hereditary. Alright!!!!

Bernstein: Oy. We'll be back.

Add "keep it moving" to his go to phrase list

Yih, yih, yih.

This is number one. Half grunt. Half "yeah." Wholly terrible.

Ya know how some whites call some blacks "articulate."

They do so cuz of dudes like him.

"Jay Williams is quite articulate about NCAA basketball."

"Jay Goff is not articulate, playa. Dunny be usin alotta crutch phrases."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah"

You're right. That's another Goff crutch phrase.

no doubt!!

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

Word up homeslice! That's some phat insight you got there, dunny! brb time to go mourn 2pac!

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word association for "no doubt" = i always think of the ending of that latyrx - 8 point agenda [version 2] on the herbaliser beat, where at the very end they go "cuz thats no doubt... no doubt... no doubt, no doubt and we out!!!!"

"we not gonna show no mercy overflowing the drought! no doubt! no doubt! no doubt! no doubt! no doubt!" - latyrx

hey CH, this is the kind of song that often compels me to go "word for word" with it, so when i'm in semi-/public and i end up reciting this ppl just look at me funny and i just kinda gotta be like "sorry, it's really the music's fault!"

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Nah man.

Ya know

"Right from Jump street"

Tired of that one

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The Devil is in the Details

"there it is!!!"

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

"There it is" is Goff's way of claiming he caught a racist.

Caller: I don't like the way these guys celebrate in sports.

Goff: Why is that?

Caller: Well, cuz guys like Mickey Mantle, Ted Williams and Babe Ruth never flipped bats. They were more respectful.

Goff: There it is!!!!! (Laughter and clapping)

I'll admit, it's pretty funny when Goff starts chuckling as a caller checks all the requisite "I don't like minorities" boxes.

Yeah. But Goff takes every white caller as being racist. That's his bias going into the call. So he is just looking for something to jump on.

It is funny.

Goff is very funny. Though, to Goff's surprise, it's not when he's trying to be funny. His natural dumb ass is the funny part about him.