Nas wrote:
long time guy wrote:
Historical context matters more than the fact that is a racial or ethnic slur. That's the difference. I once referred to an elderly black guy as that while arguing over a card game years ago. I'm black and didn't understand the images that it conjured up for him. If he were still alive he'd be 95 right now. I was really young probably mid 20''s at the time and he was probably mid upper 70's. A rage set in on him. He was from a rural town in Missouri and that word had a different cultural and historical context for him.
I'm sure Reader is probably familiar with the lounge on 75th where it occurred. Known joint. I realized that I'd have to watch how I used that word. It offended him and just because I don't take as much offense didn't mean that he shouldn't. My experiences with the word were different than his.
As a kid when my generation and yours replaced the "er" with an "a" and tried to make it a term of endearment I didn't understand why older folks were upset by the use of the word. I saw it as removing the power from those who used it to hate. I now see how foolish that thinking was.
I kind of am in the age group that has the most mixed feelings about it. I distinctly remember my Alabama born grandparents (whose grandparents & one parent were actually born slaves) absolutely bristling over the word. IIRC, my grandfather (who would be 106 now) almost pulled a gun on a guy & it was the only time I ever heard him use the word. When my grandmother was in her 90's, she started using it & it was absolutely acidic. Although we had fairly liberal use of language in my family, it never would have dawned on me to say it. I didn't grow up with any of the recent conceptions about it, nor did I ever use it until the 1990's. Probably would have been hit in the mouth if I did.
When NWA & Eazy E came out I was first appalled and then conflicted, but I still never use the word about or to anyone close to my age. I've never allowed my sons to use the word in my presence...and I've had very few issues with appropriate or even purely reactionary language. If I use it, chances are that I'm furious.
And LTG, you're right, I probably AM familiar with that lounge on 75th

And you got off lucky.
Knew you'd know it. I got a pass because by that point I was a regular crazy as it sounds.