I dont always like to ask customers if i could use their bathroom. Ive been told that a professional doesnt do that, although any time ive had a worker in my house i always point out the bathroom. So i have a 1 gallon water bottle in my truck. As the truck is big enough to stand in i just hop in back close the door and pee in a bottle.

A couple years ago i went to a no cooling call. The problem was that the system was low on refrigerant. This is not uncommon in old systems such as this one but the customer was convinced Obama stole her refrigerant. I said i can dona leak search and try to pinpoint the leak if you like. She said no need. She knows where it went. Obama stole it. I gassed up the system and asked her how she plans on keeping obama from stealing her refrigerant again. She said "i have ways"

Its not uncommon to find condensers stolen from peoples yards, particarly as you vet closer to the city. Had a call earlier this june and found that the whole damn outdoor coil had been stolen. The customer asked me if i could fix it as she was having company in a hour. I said we'd need to install a new ac. She was shocmed that i didnt just have one in my truck and couldnt have it up and running within the hour. At 7pm.

An older lady called in convinced that a bird was stuck in her ductwork. She said she could hear it tweeting. In fact she said she could hear it tweeting every 90 seconds. I told her i could fix the problem if she had a 9 volt battery. She asked if i was going to electrify the ductwork. I said no i think i sbould start by changing the batteries in yuour smoke detector. That resolved the bird issue.

Went to a furnace maintenance in algonquin in 2012. When i got to the basement there was just this stench of rotting shit... homeowner tells me to ignore it, it just the dead squirrels. I counted 7 of them down there in various states of decay before i stopped looking around and de-assed the area with the quickness.

Its not unusual to find dead animals in the flue pipes of furnaces that cause pressure switch or blocked vent safety switch failures but one custoner insisted i planted the half rotted bird in the flue myself to sell service calls. Those birds dont live in illinois she told me. I said do you think im importing birds and sneaking into peoples homes and stuffing them into furnaces on the chance they'll call my company of all the service companies and we'll get a couple hundred bucks for the fix? She said absolutely and told me to leave.

Before i brough a pee jug with me i was sent to an EMERGENCY heating call. I was told to hurry because the homeowner told the dispatcher shed die if she didnt have heat immediately. I drove there from my last call, took about an hour. When i diagnosed the problem and went upstairs to quote her the repair price before starting the work i said by the way may i impose upon you to use your restroom for a quick second? Ive bad lots of coffee tbis morning and hurried here without stopping. She said "No! I have CHILDREN".

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

"daaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaa. Sometimes I peeeee in a juuug."

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How do you get your vagina centered over the hole?

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Your mom showed me how to do it.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Take care to not touch the edge of the bottle opening with your clitoris.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet.

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Did she tell you what i got for the other $50?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Pointing and laughing?

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

No. She just said she sent you on your way with no charge for a few more items after you tried to pay for them with a Twix wrapper that had $50 written on it.

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Twix wrapper...
Thats wonderful.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Gatorade works the best. Just enough volume and big enough opening.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I wash myself with a rag on a stick

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I think we all assumed that.

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*polite applause*

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Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house.

This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Is it a one gallon jug in the back of a work van?

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Every smart camper has a piss jar. Mine is a plastic jug from Wally World.
They say that Ben Rhodes held Obama's Presidential Container.


"is it safe"--Bob Vila
'no, I have children"--Homemaker


#PissTube

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Obama's Legacy is Trump.
And dead cops.

"One guy lays the pipe, the other guy smokes it"--Clint Eastwood

Yeah Darkside might use your wife's toothbrush or sniff her towel.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

You say that like its wrong.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

It would be rude not to ask first.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I let a guy that was working on our furnace use the bathroom and he pissed all over the bowl. This was prior to kids so I couldn't just blame it on my son. It was clearly the furnace guy. I have always wanted to say no after that but I just feel like it would be a dick move. No other issues before or after the rogue urine sprayer.

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Yeah, you have to be a real asshole not to let a contractor/service tech use the restroom at your house. Of course I'm pretty nice, I always offer a pop, water and beer(if they are done for the day).

"dick move" lol

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

while doing a webinar, i had to pee, i thought i was going to die. someone had bought me this tub of cheeseballs or something from bass pro shops and it was about empty sitting on my shelf behind my desk.

i emptied what was left into the trash and peed in the tub. just got on my knees and went. while still talking.

my boss was getting our FL office going and i told him and he didn't believe me, so i sent him a pic.

Should have left the cheeseballs in there, like an ice in the urinal type situation.

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Me too.

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So far today im 0/3 on offers of something cold to drink after fixing an ac.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

That's some bullshit. It's 900 fucking degrees outside. People are assholes.

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