Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Hit the close door button next time you come across one of these people.

_________________

It happens constantly at my work and it's always when I'm getting off the elevator. I work in an office building with hundreds of other people, and there's always an idiot rushing to get on and looking shocked that someone is trying to get off first.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Just tell the offender you're an off duty cop and that he should do everything you say. Should do the job.

_________________
Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

Same goes for the EL.

_________________

Good point. 10x worse in that scenario

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Yep, the EL is ridiculous. Since I'm 40 now, I just started bowling people over on my way out.

Working in high-rises for a while now, the elevator etiquette thing seems simple and confuses the fuck out of me at the same time.

- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.

- The asshole who HAS to press the close door button sixty-five times after he gets on the elevator, even if people are still coming in the elevator.

- People who hit the up/down arrow BEFORE the doors have closed. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Then the elevator is already full and they either give you a dumb look or they try to squeeze in, because hey, they are fucking dicks.

- Holy shit, you don't get cellphone reception in the elevator! Guess what? You don't have to talk louder so that the person can hear you better. Related to this, don't have a meeting on the elevator. I don't give two shits about your TPS report problems.

- You have an entire elevator and yet you are shoving your ass right in my crotch.

- If you fuck up and hit the wrong button, own up to it.

- If you aren't crippled and there are stairs five feet away from the elevator, you better not get on the elevator and only go up/down one floor, because I'm going to kick your fat, lazy ass out.

I think that covers it.

_________________

^Post of the year

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

This guy gets it

Great nomination. The only caveat is for idiots on elevators that hide on the side when empty and pop out like Chris Hansen once the doors fully open.

Why are you standing in the only area you can't be seen?

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I have to disagree with this one. I usually let the women off first, but there are common sense exceptions, like when the elevator is full and I'm right against the door. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense to jockey around to allow ladies first. In that case you're correct.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

+ 1

_________________
Elections have consequences.

This too.

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Elections have consequences.

I have another pet peeve regarding elevators. I work in a ten story building and my lab is in the basement. Not many of us go down on the elevator but obviously I do all the time.

At least three times a week there is the dope that doesn't pay attention and gets on the down elevator when they intended to go up. When that happens they they say "oh, duh, sorry" and proceed to try to press the open door button and try to get off the elevator to get on a another to go up.

No dumb ass. Yo are now delaying me due to your stupidity. You must wear your idiocy and stay on and ride down before once again going up.

_________________
Elections have consequences.

If the elevator isn't full, you let women and children off first. 100% agreed.

The Shabbos or Shabbat elevator may be a solution to this problem.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

I hate stupid questions in elevators.

I used to work downtown. Gettinv in in the lobby at least once a day someone would say "going up?"

So once i finally said no today im going sideways. Got a confused look but she still boarded the elevator and up we went.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I move right up to the door inside the elevator as my floor approaches (ours is rarely ever full to crowded status). When the doors open and the onrushing horde sees my ogre-like visage the instant the doors crack apart, they often fall back in horror and I can exit comfortably without having to act like the pulling guard on an end around. Otherwise, I have been known to say aloud "off, THEN on". Likewise, I press the button and then step back, so I am not tempted to rush on to the plant elevator, only to see the timid office building ass clown unsure if they are at the floor they need to exit (one of only four the plant elevator services).

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You know me like that.

He's staring a hole in my soul!

Take the stairs, fatty.

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Finishing their fucking text usually

It's getting worse. Happened twice to me today already. People are dumb animals.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Or if she has a nice ass so you can watch her walk out. Chivalry and all.