jimmypasta wrote:
to actually listen to our National Anthem. Let the words sink in!
(hulk hogan's real american on youtube)
hulk hogan's "real american" ??! which i believe is by a dude named rick derringer or something? oh boy have i got a story about this (and an obligatory link like everyone else in the thread is doing)
WELCOME TO ANOTHER RENDITION OF SINI'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!TODAY'S EPISODE: THIS SONG ACTUALLY GOT SINI LAID AND BEYOND!!!!(and yes, we know douchebag + darko + others all DID NOT HAPPEN.... but if that's the case then you're telling me i'm pretty creative, so thanks i guess?)
AHEM. welp if you didnt know before i came around these parts in 2009 to make this my then-new "default msgboard", my old stomping grounds was an electronic music messageboard, forum.watmm.com, where i did my thing as a first-gen "Lifetime Member" from appx 2000-2009. (Lifetime Member = eventually the admin made a privileged group of "ISOP" type "good ol boys" who had a shiny new "Lifetime Member" status that meant you were in the cool kids club, and this meant you also got access to the Lifetime Members board, where we could sit around and talk shit about normal users, decide who was worthy of joining our club, and freely exchange music+warez+etc.... good times.
welp being a stalwart of the aphex-twin-message-board scene, i can tell you that there was a general sentiment that americans can't really IDM like the brits/europeans can.... i mean hey there are SOME guys, akin to white or [especially] european rappers, who can do america proud... .but by and large you end up with guys like the flahbulb [the flashbulb] who is technically a [super?] talented studio musician with technical skills likely beyond my wildest dreams.... however he has no soul so he just pretty much ended up
soullessly ripping off aphex twin and squarepusher. with that in mind, i used to tell my good friend joe (aka stick wigglie, aka legos on ludes, or even just aka steve (the man who dared to be weird al! =)) that someday i was going to step up to the plate for my country and make super-patriotic cock rock drill-n-bass (this is the kind of stuff we'd come up with when we'd see a big ol Ford F-150 pickup truck on the highway and we'd belt out SUPER DUTYYYY!!!! and then be oddly compelled to start belting out toby keith's ford truck man anthem ("I AIN'T GOT NOOOOOOOO BOUNDARIES....
I DON'T COMPROMISE!" =)
but seeing as this is me, it was something i said i'd do somewhere between 5 and 55 times and pretty much just filed away for a later day (kind of like that flahbulb diss rap track i linked up there) --- BUT THEN, INDEED, on some random morning in the summer of 2006 i just woke up and felt oddly compelled to mash beats-to-songs around in my sequencer. the newest idea i had come up with was instead of trying to cut out all of the individual drum patterns and synth pads/stabs i could get from various points of the track, man, why not lay down the track something like ~3-7 times over in my sequencer (in lieu of, say, having my drums and then my synths and etc laid out like usual) and end up using meticulously cut-n-pasted bits of the song in various pitch-shifted segments that would result in me effectively "playing the track/song itself as an instrument" ?? it seemed like a fun idea so i had to give it a whirl, you know?
the first song i tried this with was MC Hammer's "here comes the hammer" and the resulting sequencer-program-job ended up looking like this:
and sounding like thisso having "succeeded" in making, or well i'd technically say 'defacing' more than 'making' a passable enough drill and bass track, i decided to have a go at making that SUPERPATRIOTIC COCK ROCK DRILL-N-BASS!!! that i had promised my friend joe + the world that i'd make a few years earlier..... and the result?
welp it's right here for you to check out (youtube link, tho if you like the last track and this one they're both available for DL as mp3s @ HTTP sinicalypseDOTkaenDOTorg/emessiah so have at em if you want)so yeah, you know, the whole idea or ethos or
raison d'etre (if you will) of the track is that americans are fundamentally retarded, so you know, akin to a toddler sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor banging pots and pans together randomly to make a cacophony of noise, welp, i truly put the "phony" in "cacophony" when i endeavored to show the world that, indeed, I AM A REAL AMERICAN..... I FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVERY MAN.... I AM A REAL AMERICAN.... FIGHT FOR WHAT'S RIGHT.... FIGHT FOR MY LIFE!!!!!
and then as fate would have it, it turns out that my still-#1-to-this-day-ex-girlfriend would end up hearing this, falling in love with it (going as far as to claim "it was [her] favorite song ever and [she] was gonna fuck the brains out of the guy who made that [and since i'm an idiot, sheeeeit, #MissionAccomplished riiiight? =) --- tho technically i WILL be real and point out that she was already engaging with me on the internet prior to hearing that (cuz you don't just stumble across sinicalypse/emessiah tracks in the wild... yet) so it's entirely possible that she was totally infatuated-to-in-love with me and therefore THAT caused her to [subconsciously?] WANT to make this her "favorite song ever" --- but hey you know, either way, this song totally DID help me to go and get laid... and in style too-- i might add-- because holy shit the way the whole relationship wirked out i ended up being able to hang out with a self-avowed pimp in county and the way he talked about life and "the game" and all taht? man he sensed i was a kindred spirit cuz you know, sheeeeit, i might not get around as much as most of my contemporaries.... BUT WHEN I DO, not only do i do it with more than a modicum of style, taste, class, and dignity.... but i also do it asking the question "what can this pussy do for me?" (or well in my case it was more like "HOLY SHIT OMFG WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS PUSSY JUST DO FOR ME?!" cuz it wasn't like i was asking ol girl to let me hold something or blah blah blah, it just kind of ended up like "whoa, if this reversal of traditional gender roles is supposedly one of the core tenets of feminism then maybe it isn't all bad?!
DISCLAIMER: i was young and naive when i was asking/answering hypothetical questions back then. c'est la vie, no?
TLDR = so basically, a burning desire to make some #SuperPatrioticCockRockDrillAndBass that lay dormant for a few years combined with a perfect storm of post-dadaist "devil may care" musical vandalism [as i didn't/don't "make music" as much as i "deface music" -- and yes this definitely counts my [erstwhile? =] attempts to rap too... 100.0% str8up defacing music like the KLF taught me to do [uh huh, uh huh] ---- and then when i actually did it, yeah, my super-patriotic cock rock drill n bass vandalism of hulk hogan's "real american" entrance music = helped me get laid by the love of my life. #BelieveItOrNot!(and DID NOT HAPPEN it to your meme's content, but i'm honestly not THAT creative.... ergo, i deface/vandalize music instead of make it. duh. >=)
and p.s. --- yes, i know the song sucks..... it was a total slagoff where i was just taking the piss out of american electronic music supposed to be fundamentally retarded and all that..... you know, redman's "i'll bee dat" principle.... just with a touch of SUPER PATRIOTIC COCK ROCK DRILL AND BASS(TM Pending) tossed in for good measure =]
_________________
Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?
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