Bagels.

No doubt.

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How'd you like to be the guy who gets the "call-up" to the wedding party when someone drops out?

Hey John, so I didn't like you enough before to be in my wedding, but Nas just bailed on me, and I need a third usher. So how bout doin' me a solid?

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Maybe Nas is the flower girl?

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Have a fantasy football draft that day?

That kind of happened to me

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

You were #121 on the list. Somebody in the top 120 couldn't make it. You're up.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

That's bullshit. You definitely owe them an explanation. Being asked to be in someone's wedding is a big deal. I assume you are close to them (otherwise why are you in the wedding). Since you are close to them, why won't you tell them the reason you are skipping the wedding? seems very shady and a dick move.

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I don't know ... it might work ... it's not like anybody saw that episode.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Yup. Shakes is on the money

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

You should probably explain why. I was suppose to be a groomsman at a friend's wedding years ago and I no showed which is obviously hilarious but his wife raged.

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And regarding whatever your excuse is, I seriously doubt the bride is going to understand and be cool with it unless it involves you dying which is pretty hard to predict in advance.

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say you have to drive a UHaul to Arizona

^^ Pretty much this.

It may not be a big deal to the groom, but for the woman, she has been planning this day since she was 5. A tiny disruption to the "plan" and they lose their shit.

Your buddy, he probably won't get that upset, but his lady is going to give him hell when he breaks this news to her.

Big time dick move here.

How come I don't doubt that this happened.

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Caller Bob is right. You could have to go into life saving surgery and the doctor is only available that specific day. Your buddy will be totally cool with it and his wife will be to your face. He's going to get reamed out seven ways from Sunday though. She'll give him hell anytime he mentions hanging out with you and so he'll slowly drift apart so he doesn't have to listen to the BS.

As far as your situation, hope everything is OK with you and the family.

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Five weeks away, so it's doubtful that Nas has even been fitted for the tux yet. How much trouble is it to have another guy take his place, this far out? It's not like the wedding is tomorrow.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

i'll step in and do it if you want

Women, amirite?!?!

Well, even if you wait to tell them why, tell them immediately so they can fill your spot.

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It's unclear from the original post, but I assume you can't attend at all? (Attending but not being a groomsmen would make no sense).

Wedding programs may have already been printed, which is another reason the bride will be pissed.

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