I'm usually seen as the villain.

We should do brunch!

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I fly out of Midway quite a bit, and park there. I can't understand why they don't have automated kiosks to "pay on foot," like every other garage in the city. Probably a union/patronage sort of thing (thanks Rahm).

Instead, they have a dozen drive throughs staffed with live people that take your credit card, process it very slowly, and hand it back with a pen to sign the receipt.

One day, after a particularly long wait, the lady said "have a blessed day," and I didn't know whether to feel good about it as I naturally would, or was it code for "F-you?"

Still not sure.

I used to sell Kirby Vacuum cleaners door-to-door. Paid for my first semester of college on 2 sales.

My tag line as I left was "I don't give shit how your day goes now. I have your check. Praise the Lord."

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You know me like that.