yeah, I'm a neat freak, and pretty particular. My sig does not do any housework anymore, at one time she was a really clean person.

Towels on the floor behind the bed, yes. It slays me.

Dishes left in the sink, but this is what kills me. I keep saying, if it's got food on it, leave it on the side of the sink where the disposal is. This is not paid attention to one bit. I'd say put it in the dishwasher, but then I end up reorganizing the whole thing because there's six dishes and not a space left to put anything because loading a dishwasher is a Tetris like skill, apparently.

Her car is a disaster zone. I have to clean it out weekly or there literally won't be places to put the kids.

My family is largely together and gets along. Her family hate each other and have moved away from each other. My family routinely covers babysitting, and are only around if requested. Her family gives us stuff, but largely toys and candy for the kids, things we not only don't need more of, we are actively trying to get rid of. New toy? Great, we'll throw the one away you gave us two months ago. But guess whose family is a constant source of her frustration?

She didn't do laundry for a long time, but now she does just infrequently enough to make me mad, and NOTHING ever gets put away. Baskets and baskets of clothing just lounging all over the house. Is it clean? I don't know!

When she's home with the kids, she has no time to do the housework because the "kids keep her too busy". However, when I am home, the one day I'm actually home a week, I can have the house put back in order, cleaned and vaccumed in an hour and a half. With all three kids, by myself.

Clothes never make it to the hamper. I switched sides in bed so her side was up against the wall, because it looked like a salvation army.

I make food, I clean up after myself. She makes food, nope.

I get home from work, and immediately start trying to clean the house. Does this make her happy? NO. Why don't you pay attention to me first? Well, I don't know, if this place gets any dirtier we're going to get evicted?

I am not a legal expert, how many times do I have to say it?

Has conversations with her family in their native tongue, won't translate for me, and looks at me like I'm supposed to have understood it all.

If you can afford it, the $100-$200 a month will be well worth it to have a cleaning service come. It won't solve all these problems but it solves a lot.

Luckily for me, I'm the messier one.

Yea, I am also in favor of CoF getting out of that (seemingly) toxic relationship. I thought it was bad when I nodded in agreement with a few of these, but gosh darn man

Yup. Let's setup a gofundme page.

I am not a legal expert, how many times do I have to say it?

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.

My wife can turn a story that should take two minutes into a 20 minute journey to nowhere.
She also takes forever to do even the most simple tasks.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

Yup. Let's setup a gofundme page.

Has conversations with her family in their native tongue, won't translate for me, and looks at me like I'm supposed to have understood it all.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Yea, I am also in favor of CoF getting out of that (seemingly) toxic relationship. I thought it was bad when I nodded in agreement with a few of these, but gosh darn man

eh, the sex is wild, nightly if I want it so, and when she goes back to work, I'll be much more inclined to overlook the slob stuff because I can stop working so much. The real killer is turning over all the cleaning responsibilities because she's home, but finding them largely not getting done, while she pulls no income in. I don't mind the house cleaning and all it entails if she's legit busy actually, you know, working.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Think we have the same wife. My wife will tell a 20 minute story that should take 2, and then a week later she will ask me something about it or I'll ask her something not remembering she told me, and she'll flip out and say I don't listen. I do listen, but I get the important facts. Sorry the 18 extra minutes of filler was not pertinent.

You fought over sex?

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

I didnt list it because it doesnt really annoy me, its actually kinda funny and charming but her and her whole family do this.

Her dad told me a story once about ordering a pizza from a place I used to work at. He knew the owner and got it comped. That was the point of the story. Here is how he told it

I used to play softball with Larry up in Evergreen Park. Tuesday nights. We were pretty good. Danny was on the team too. So, one day I said, Hey Larry, when are you gonna get us some pizzas out here, cmon man. You own the place. So he says, you like pizza? I said yea, of course I like pizza. He says what do you like on it? I said I like green pepper, onions and mushrooms. He said you still live off 127th? I said, yeah, why? He says ok and pulls out his phone and says Hi, this is Larry, make up a large with green pepper, onions, and mushrooms. For pick up. He hangs up and tells me it will be ready in 30 minutes. Then I saw him the next week and he said Hey, how was that pizza?

So yea, I do know Larry and he's a nice guy.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

eh, the sex is wild, nightly if I want it so.

Has conversations with her family in their native tongue, won't translate for me, and looks at me like I'm supposed to have understood it all.

I tell stories like this.

eh, the sex is wild, nightly if I want it so, and when she goes back to work, I'll be much more inclined to overlook the slob stuff because I can stop working so much. The real killer is turning over all the cleaning responsibilities because she's home, but finding them largely not getting done, while she pulls no income in. I don't mind the house cleaning and all it entails if she's legit busy actually, you know, working.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

Anyone feeling a mail order bride vibe for some of these answers?

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

I didnt list it because it doesnt really annoy me, its actually kinda funny and charming but her and her whole family do this.

Her dad told me a story once about ordering a pizza from a place I used to work at. He knew the owner and got it comped. That was the point of the story. Here is how he told it

I used to play softball with Larry up in Evergreen Park. Tuesday nights. We were pretty good. Danny was on the team too.
(3-5 second pause)
So, one day I said, Hey Larry, when are you gonna get us some pizzas out here, cmon man. You own the place.
(3-5 second pause)
So he says, you like pizza?
(3-5 second pause)
I said yea, of course I like pizza.
(3-5 second pause)
He says what do you like on it?
(3-5 second pause)
I said I like green pepper, onions and mushrooms.
(3-5 second pause)
He said you still live off 127th?
(3-5 second pause)
I said, yeah, why?
(3-5 second pause)
He says ok and pulls out his phone and says Hi, this is Larry, make up a large with green pepper, onions, and mushrooms. For pick up.
(3-5 second pause)
He hangs up and tells me it will be ready in 30 minutes. Then I saw him the next week and he said Hey, how was that pizza?

So yea, I do know Larry and he's a nice guy.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

Time and direction. Due to MANY kicks in the ass over MANY years this has gotten better. It used to be a constant battle. North, South, East, or West might as well have been Japanese symbols. And forget knowing the numbers to any of the major toll/high ways in the area. She still isn't great with directions but if she needs help she can generally tell me which direction she is going or a major intersection she is near.

When we were dating and we would have to be somewhere at say....7:00. I would tell her that we need to walk out of the house at "6:15" or whatever to to get to the place on time. 6:15 would roll around and there would be no sense of urgency to get out the door.

6:15, AIS. Ass In Seat because that car is leaving with or without you. This has been vastly improved upon as well.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

I don't mind a long story if it is entertaining. Mark Twain told long stories. This is what my wife would complain at me about. Though I only tell a story like once/month.