The soccer version of Barry Melrose lost his shit on ESPN tonight. Doug Buffone would be proud.

http://www.espn.com/video/clip?id=20984884

_________________
"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Please don't mention Doug Buffone and soccer in the same sentence again.

meh soccer is boring.

_________________
“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Gonna be hard for you to repeat as CFMB Champion if you don't work on your "tact".

Netherlands failed to qualify AND Robben announced his retirement. Sad day.

_________________

^this

The US has plenty of athletes who could build quite a team if it was the sport they focused on. Instead of soccer, our premier athletes are playing baseball, football, basketball, and yes even hockey. I'd bet Patrick Kane would be one hell of a soccer player if that was his sport.

_________________
“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Little Crest will be playing for a regional championship on Saturday afternoon though.

_________________

Yeah. I think we would be in good shape if LeBron, Trout and (Pro Bowl QB) Trubisky decided to play soccer instead of being the best players in their particular sports.

_________________

If Messi was raised in the US, he would probably be a star 2nd baseman

_________________
“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Yeah this is all on Gulati more than Arena or any of the mostly washed up players. I remember the defenses of him when he fired Klinsmann that he oversees so much more than just the national team so it wouldn't be prudent to expect that kind of change, but the reason the national team is in this sorry state is precisely because he sucks at all those other aspects of his job too.

Soccer is great.

It's also MLS' fault because their league is bad. I mean I like MLS, but I know what it is. When Michael Bradley leaves Serie A to play in the cesspool that is MLS, it's a problem. I don't blame MLS for paying him, I dont blame Bradley for taking the $ and coming home, just understand you're only going to get worse playing here, and he did. My least favorite player, Jozy Altidore, is another player just cashing checks in MLS. I mean I thought he was trash playing for Sunderland, but he sure didn't get better since then (and AZ) playing in MLS. Don Garber should probably go with Sunil.

It's literally not a sport. At all.

And big fat RIP to all those shitty "soccer is really growing it's gonna pass the MLB and NFL soon" takes. bahahaha o I am laffin. This is the death of American soccer, thank fucking god. Even most European people think it's gay.

Eh, a fair number of the guys on the teams which qualified over the US got better by playing in the MLS. And it's not MLS's fault that Altidore and Bradley aren't very good and that the national team was still relying on them at this point.

Eh, Bradley was a step below world class at Roma and he's only 30. I think it's fair to say the MLS experience did him no favors. Yeah the Carribean guys got better in MLS, they'd probably have gotten even better if they played in Serie A.

If common core doesn't render them too idiotic, there should be a generation of kids who grew up with the premier league on NBCSN / bubdesliga on FS1 / and champions league & Europa also on FS1. There's your hope for American soccer, but it'll take at least 10-15yrs to matter.

Put it this way, how much euro football do yo think jozy altidore watched growing up? Not nearly as much as kids today are able to watch (especially if their parents are soccer hipsters/fags =)

_________________

Taylor fucking twellman is football Barry Melrose? Fucking LOL!

One of my favorite things during euro 2016 was the looks of absolute disdain Michael Ballack would have on his face whenever he was sitting next to Taylor twellman on a pundit panel on ESPN =]

_________________

This should be a Shoutout. Now there is literally no reason to pretend that America cares about soccer again. Pffft to your "beautiful game" crap. You run around and chase a ball for 90 minutes...er excuse me, 90whatever minutes because the refs arbitrarily decide when to stop the game, and it can end in a 0-0 tie.

_________________

Now we have to wait until 2022 for the soccer is taking over talk!

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I don't buy the idea that the US is not a soccer power because they do not get the athletes. Josy Altidore looks like a great athlete but he is a mediocre player. US players lack skill, not athleticism. Altidore had trouble yesterday doing basic soccer moves like trapping the ball. US players (except for Pulisic) have trouble dribbling in tight spaces.

Spain won a World Cup and European championships and they were not an imposing physical team. But they had great skill and knew how operate in tight spaces and control the ball.

Until the US get close to the skill of the elite nations, they will never be elite.

It would be great if we could stop kids from playing soccer and instead have them competing in sports we can compete on in the world stage. Concentrate on hockey and basketball and let Trinidad and Tobago go to the World Cup and lose.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Mulli is beside himself. He lost sleep (literally!)

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

How do you get "skilled" at soccer? "Oh wow he really didn't use his hands there! Incredible!"...it's not worth the effort. The USA demolishes the rest of the world every two years at the Olympics and as long as that hegemony continues (it will) we can ignore their silly little tournament for a children's game.

We should control the narrative by telling the world we were boycotting because of the slavery of workers building the facilities in Qatar.

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Or we could threaten to invade and/or destroy five randomly selected countries unless FIFA let's us in. Think about it, the networks either get the usual old World Cup ratings or we get the EXTERMINATOR SELECTION SHOW which will be probably the most viewed global event ever.

That's why our women's team is so good: no football and not much basketball to divert elite women athletes.

_________________

The rest of the world also doesn't care at all about women's soccer. Then again, the United States really doesn't either until we can wrap it in a flag and celebrate our status as greatest nation in the history of the world as proven by women's soccer.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

You will never get boys past the age of about 10 to play soccer because their friends will call them gay. It just isn't going to happen. Ever.

Patrick Kane...that's your example. Knowing what we know about Patrick Kane do you think he would want at all to be associated with such a gay sport? Like do you think "the beautiful game" played by a bunch of lanky Europeans who hold hands and kiss each other like burritos would appeal to somebody like Patrick Kane?

Never.

And then we hold women up as The Only Good Athletes until seemingly half the USWNT gets the cops called on them for, like, breaking a wine bottle over someone's head.

_________________