That NYC hipster preteen commercial for iPad. "What are you doing on your computer?"

"What's a computer?"

Fuck. You. You know what a goddamn computer is.

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+1000

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I eat Stouffer's lasagna and hunger to teach football.


Fuck off.

Dumb little bitch can't even be bothered enough to look up from her screen and give her adult neighbor the common courtesy of engaging in a conversation.

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"You deserve breakfast made with respect." With respect of what exactly? There's an implication that other breakfasts are not made with respect. A disrespectful Egg McMuffin, perhaps. What is it disrespecting? Certainly not me -- they always smile and say "thank you" as they pass me my food. Is the disrespect putting an egg on an English Muffin instead of a brioche roll? That seems more a matter of preference of taste than one of respect. Is it the method of cooking the egg that shows respect to the ovum? I would think that as long as the product is consumed, you've fulfilled your respect requirements to the living thing. Again, whether soft or hard yolk is a matter left up to taste, but certainly it wouldn't be considered disrespectful to cook an egg and serve it as an edible product. Perhaps the respect is meant to be the self-respect of the sandwich maker? As optimistic as one might be that all employees are 100% committed to doing their best work, it is impossible for a customer to tell with certainty if an employee is genuine in their emotions or merely presenting a charade to the customer. Perhaps my "thank you" is heartfelt, and perhaps it is not. It seems very presumptious to this writer that one business would have more self-respecting employees working a kitchen griddle than any other business, especially when they are both in similar fast food categories. In fact, a slightly more upscale fast food location might employ personnel who secretly thought they could "do better", and therefore not respect the work they are doing, while a more common fast food restaurant might have people who are very happy to have a job at all and don't aspire to greater culinary employment. I feel this ad is trying to use "respect" as a word purely for emotional reaction, and not for the actual meaning of the word. This is similar to how some use the term "disrespect" to force morality into a situation when the more appropriate word "disagree" should be used instead.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

This Hero motorcycle spot that runs at the front end of every ad break of this golf tournament makes me want to light myself on fire.

"WE RIIIIIIIIIIIDE!" ....For a scooter company.

This androgynous little shit's made-up name is probably Ryden or Topher or Brytenna.
Not to mention, what's up with the hair-do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAdnzbiZoiM

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Just saw a Windows 10 PC commercial that featured the adult version of the iPad kid.
It's a woman who creates interactive children's books about killer sharks or something.
She sports a super utilitarian short perm cut with those fabulous pointy sideburn things that used to be fashionable.
All she's missing is the front butt mom jeans and a macrame vest.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

You guys better look out, sounds as if you all have at least one solid foot in old man yells at clouds territory.

Welcome

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

I notice it more and more. By the time I'm 40 I'm going to just hate kids.

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Just realized the "What's a computer?" girl's name is revealed to be "Scout" in the commercial. Douche factor times a million.

That's a dogs name.

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You're assuming Scout is a girl.
DO NOT force your pronouns on 'them'.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Yep.. and get off my lawn territory too. I think I have one solid foot there and my other foot might be descending to join it.

In

In, and loving it.

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So is Hank.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

I like the Raiders fan at the Kansas City Chiefs fans' Christmas dinner, but playing it 100s of times a day is a problem.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

That ad has over 5.5 mil views on YT in the last 2 weeks, and the comment section is disabled.
I bet that was a treasure trove of misogyny and shitposts.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

I had avoided this commercial until today's Saints game.

The people who wrote this commercial and the ones who acted in it should be liquidated. Their families should be charged for the cost of the bullet.

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I love the guy sitting next to 'Scout' on the bus, cocked eyebrow, reading a fake magazine which I believe might've been called 'Skeptic' as 'Scout' is nose deep into creating a world of whimsy on their blog or begging for Patreon $ to finance their transition....

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

You know Scout writes a blog with headlines like "Dear white people...." or uses the word Cis non ironically.

Fuck Scout.

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yeah it's really like the casting call was "someone you can't tell is a girl or boy outright, and is possibly multicultural". just trying way too hard to be "progressive".

and like hank said, no fucking person on this planet doesn't know what a computer is, even if the word is a bit archaic now. they still would know the word.

Watching that commercial makes me happy that Barb got what she deserved in Stranger Things.

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These passive aggressive douches in the GMC holiday commercials accosting their neighbors to show off their shitty new cars.

They're the villains, here. The neighbors are just minding their own business buying things that interest them, and these assholes march over to condescend about being a Better Consumer.

I really despise those Lexus Christmas commercials and their plea for conspicuous consumption.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

They actually sell those big red ribbons to put on top (it's like a $300 option).

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Does ESPN sell anything other than patent medicine commercials and the meth head (?) looking guy in scrubs pushing The Addiction Network??

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Brought to you by the same assholes behind:
"They call it the remainder, it's the number that remains!!"

Eat a dick, Katherine....and by the way, nice permanent.
NOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZp16vUgP70

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.