Seeing as I'm not allowed to have any money of my own lately my Verizon bill is 2.5+ months overdue and my phone's are about to be shut off any minute now, lemme get this off my chest:

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

In case anyone hasn't noticed I'm kind of the best DJ on earth (yeah my glitchy shit is some "your kids will love it" back to the future style but during these trials/tribulations I'm focusing on the hardcore shit cuz it should go without saying that I could do non-glitch mixes quick and easy) yet I'm not allowed to play shows or do anything to monatize my product. I offered my services au gratis to chirp radio but hey, you know,. I guess I'm not as good as DJ whoever and seriously my lack of gigs playing music at bars reflects that. I'm not a real DJ cuz I'm just a wannabe. Nevermind the whole mystery of "who's been paying my web hosting bills for the last 10+ years?"

and oh yeah I'm kind of awesome at rapping too, but go figure every effort I've ever made to promote my wares or "do it foreal" in a proper studio = dick bupkus. it's almost like there's some kind of worldwide temporal conspiracy going on with my music because, like James Bond, the world is not enough.

And this is by no fault of my own cuz I go around taking care of old people, respecting people in public, and even picking up trash off the ground wherever I go. Then I'll stumble across a box of vintage mint condition 80s/90s VHS tapes like "sample city baby" but they, like my sign collection, will disappear when my dad lies to the cops saying I threatened him so they yank me away somewhere for days and I come home and a lot of my stuff is just gone/missing. Or my favorite, dump me off on the yellow line penniless cigaretteless on a sub-zero new year's Eve so I can ride around the brown line huddled in a shivering ball while everyone is on their way to go party could see me there looking generally miserable and finding out 311 will only pick me up to take me to a shelter if I walk 1.6 miles in the sub-zero cold

And then I come home to find my TV/computer monitor gone and it's like "what the fuck?" --- "it's not yours"

I've had family shrug off friends taking pictures of loaded guns pointed at my head like "well obviously you pissed him off" (the friend was upset that I didn't receive his joke well, oh and that I texted his dad to say thanks for the hospitality at his house for a cpl days fresh outta "rehab") and ummm... They're more worried about $2 vacuum cleaner parts and other various inanimate objects than their own son, who btw they starved for 3-4 days around new year's Eve cuz [reasons] and then oh yeah I'm veritably cyber-stalked by the most brilliant artists on the planet earth but nobody is allowed to do anything IRL with me cuz ????

And if you haven't noticed I've been ripping off an art show over on @anvilbait on Instagram that seriously should show somebody "hey let's give this guy a chance" cuz when you realize you're a hero to all of your heroes the prospects of pretending I have some giant drug problem that necessitates living in a halfway house and working some bullshit minimum.wage job like I gotta prove myself cuz evidently the stuff @ http://YouTube.com/user/sinicalypse has no monetary value in our world while dopes like lil pump post malone and Skrillex get to go be millionaire fashion models and stuff? Seriously wtf?!

I know I'm supposed to be antithetical to "the industry" snd the fundamentally open source nature of my methodology could literally spark a revolution in artistry (i.e. kids realize that $100+/hr studios and record companies are no longer gatekeepers to getting quality stuff out there en masse cuz "look what sini did at home with only the cheapest computer at best buy and a $10 microphone") so I'm trying to be cool and work with everyone here cuz when you make up a rap name I sincerely suggest NOT including the word "apocalypse" in it (sinicalypse = the sin of the cynical apocalypse basically) cuz like... What if one day you wake up and realize just about every stupid thing you ever said-- or especially rapped-- is coming true? It's like a twilight zone episode nobody ever wanted to watch.

And despite all these legit nightmares happening, I'm doing my best like 4 mixes in the "illegal exit from the game grid" series, and I'm meeting all kinds of awesome ppl and high fiving kids and hugging old people... I'm either about to get killed or become a star snd I honestly don't know which one cuz everyone is fucking with me snd I honestly deserve way way wayyyyy better than this.

Seriously, does everyone here really want me to fuck off and go away forever (one way or another) or perhaps is there a happy medium like, oh I dont know, I'm allowed to rap/DJ/art/etc for a living like everyone else with talent levels like mine?

so yeah... 2018: what the fuck is going on?

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Never change Sini. The worm has to turn eventually

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I wish I could give you a big hug. It can get worse, but at some point it gets better. I hope it gets better for you soon.

I wish I never "met" you. this bullshit all started because of you so obviously you have the power to end it, but nope... Let's shut off his phones and make him go pay his dues in a halfway house like he's some stupid drug addict with an entitlement problem?

Bitch I'm 37 years old... I took care of my grandpa nursing home level for ~3yrs in the prime of my life because I owed the man my life, and I reckon almost none of you here would sacrifice your life/potential-career like I did... and even despite that I still managed to improve myself to where I can pretty much destroy any rapper I'm the game and I know nobody can touch me in DJing... but hey that's academic cuz we need to save all the money for deadmaus amirite?

But then again, it's not like most of you here are some brilliant musicians/artists who had their music/works suppressed to save the future.... No you were allowed to make money off of your stuff like normal people.... But I'm not allowed to be normal.... I have to be better than that and goddammit I am, but still it's like some perverse fun to see how much you can take away from.me b4 I snap...

And I'm sleeping on a floor with only one chair of furniture in a perpetual nicotine fit (hurr durr melstep) and I'm not allowed to have any of my remaining inheritance to pay my bills and do smart/rational things to improve myself cuz everyone wants me to go have these adventures when it doesn't occur to you thst THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I WALKED AWAY FROM THIS SHIT IN 2009. you know, when i made ~50 rap songs and ~25 DJ mixes in what, 2-3 months? Yeah well everyone wanted to fuck with me then and look what happened.... Why can't people just be normal with me? Am I too damn fun or something?

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Dude I was being serious. I hope 2018 is good to you.

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I would trade all of this to hsve my grandpa back and nothing on the docket. The greatest gift he gave me was teaching me that I didn't need any of this. I could literally work at McDonald's living under a viaduct and it'd be THE mcdonalds to eat at and THE viaduct to come splash water at, you know what i'm saying? But I've applied to every place around here so many times it hurts my pride to get rejected by job after job that I'm overqualified for

But nope, "this is the life that chose me" - jay-z

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Wishing you the best Sini.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

I think you misjudge your talent level. And no label or talent manager would mess with the risks your personality holds. Nope, looks like it's Jewel bagger for you. Lot of places are hiring. Maybe get out from underground before you look to the stars.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Sometimes we gotta crawl before we can run. Keep your goals high, but also set smaller attainable goals that lead up to where you want to be. It'll happen.

It's not Cynical Lips?

Sini,

Keep on fighting for your personal success. It only takes one "yes" to make all the rejections fade to nothingness.

Maybe write a book.

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Interesting idea.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

I would destroy sini in a freestyle

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Sini, there are plenty of brilliant artists who have been rejected in their own time. Keep creating. However, you have to take care of the mundane stuff as well. Most of us have made sacrifices against our ideal selves for others. Shit, I should be a barber on a Caribbean island or a cool hostel operator in a small Alpine town or an aid worker digging wells for people in shitholes, but I am not.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

That post made a lot of sense. Keep chugging along, man, and karma will find you.

Yeah, because all the big time DJ's are model citizens, you dope

Go drive your hatchback off a cliff while blasting "Come Sail Away". Maybe Sini can make you a remix.

Verizon just called and my phones are off at the end of the day, so I hope you guys enjoyed my time here doing all this because life has decided I'm not worthy of continuing on alongside such magnanimous winners as IMU, a guy who famously talked mad shit to me on the board but IRL was the nicest timid little "OH HAI SINI" bitch you could ever meet cuz it looked like a string breeze could knock him over, let alone a guy who used to smoke crack on the L for the lulz.

I'm not even going to read what IMU wrote cuz all little bitches like him can do is try to status trip on me like he's so much better than me like "I ROCK THE CULTURAL MECCA" --- oh yeah? I move into town and they build a mosque across the street within a year. Fuck off and die, IMU.

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'The Best DJ on Earth' would not be making posts like this on a message board.

Rather than point the finger at 'everyone' and everything else, try looking in the mirror and pointing the thumb. Humble yourself by realizing that you have a serious disconnect between how good you actually are versus how good you think you are. That doesn't mean to stop doing what you're doing, but look at your DJ and rapping as more of a hobby than anything else.

Good luck.

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Yeah, I'm a lot better than I thought. That's not my fault tho cuz it's like everyone was trying to convince me I was shit so I'd turn around and bust out the new York city dialectic on them >> "fuck me? Oh no buddy FUCK YOU!"

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Wow Frank....cold af

I'm 37 years old you dumbfucks. I didn't start doing this 6 months ago. I've paid so many dues it's totally laughable.... But ok, again, I know you lames wanna feel better about yourselves in comparison to me so you end up doing thst thing where 99% of all advice given to other people is "shut the fuck up and be more like me"

The irony is that I never tell that to anyone, but hey, I deserve to be punished into technodeath for not being a bigger asshole. Maybe I should let some of the "right people" fuck me up the ass and I coulda been a bigger asshole who "made it somewhere in life"

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And we've come full circle. You're 37. Start acting like it.

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Jesus, 37? It's too late for you.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Who the fuck can name a "big time DJ?"

And if we're talking about MacBook / FL Studio creators like Skrillex, well I'm pretty sure his label wouldn't have signed him if he was an off-medication drain on his family, versus a somewhat successful singer in a somewhat successful band first.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

So what do you want me to tell you that I'm the illuminati's payload? I'm literally lou malnati's pizza and I'm just waiting for some dumbfucks somewhere to let the Rothschilds back me covertly so I can just go out there and do my thing?

I'm not the problem here. I've never been the problem. We're just waiting on some lil girl who needs to take the advice that Earl Weaver had for Alice Sweet from Norfolk >> https://youtu.be/QWQbN0jFo_k

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Not true, but as I said good luck. You'll need it.

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Good luck sini.
I'm sure you will make it in the business shortly and put us all to shame.

That being said a backup plan isn't a terrible idea.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

This

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My whole life has been a backup plan cuz I had my original fate/destiny stolen from me to do this bullshit. I cried a lot when I had my time travel dream... it wasn't supposed to be this way but I was drafted into a service so secret nobody ever told me I was serving.

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Sini maybe walk into some social services office and see if they can help you find work. Look at Walmart or other places even if it's just part time. That way you can at least pay your cell phone bills and keep pursuing your dreams. There is a solid Langston Hughes poem about holding onto your dreams but the reality of life is just as important.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!