|
Oh, Uncle Hector. Uncle Hector, he was from my, dad’s side of the family. And he was, he was a great man, my uncle, you know? He was an old fella, he actually rode the rails during the Depression. He was a hobo as you might call him. I don’t like that term.
I prefer railroad bum. But he wasn’t a bum! He was just a good, honest man during the depression searching for work... He had no money, so he’d travel the country trying to find work and he actually rode the rails, Uncle Hector. And he told me an interesting story. He’d go through—this is in Canada—and there’s a town called Kitchener in Canada. And the railroad cops were tough, boy. They were tougher than the real cops... They had a law of their own, the railroad cops.
But there was not a railroad cop tougher than Kitchener Leslie. Oh, boy. He was well known... he was well known for beatin’ hobos to death.
So the railroad bums would all hop off before they got to Kitchener to avoid being beaten to death by Kitchener Leslie. Anyways, my Uncle Hector—a good man—and he walked into a mine one day. This is a story I think young people could learn from.
During the height of the depression, when there was absolutely no work, my Uncle Hector walked into... I won’t say the name of the mining company but it was MacIntyre Mine. He walked in, he had his lunch box with him, his work boots and he said, “Sir,” he said, “I want a job.” And they said, “We have no jobs.” And he said, “Well, five hundred people work here at MacIntyre Mine.” He goes, “I don’t think there are five hundred men here better than I.” He says, “As a matter of fact, I don’t think there are two hundred men better than I.” He says, “I think you’d be strapped to find a hundred men better than I.” And by golly, he got the job. What do you think of that?
So Uncle Hector worked in a mine. And it’s a hellish job, the mine, as you can imagine. The darkness, you know? It’s coal infested. So he worked in the mine and by God he worked hard. And after a week of working hard, he said to the shift manager, he said, “By golly I’d like to have a lady. I work hard. Where would I find a lady here in town?” “Well,” they said to Uncle Hector, they says “We don’t have... erm... we have sex with animals here.” “By God,” says Uncle Hector, “I’m not gonna do that. Why, I’m a normal fella.” “Well then, be to your own devices then.”
Uncle Hector continued working in that mine. He worked long, he worked hard, he worked for a very low wage. But he was a man. Uncle Hector, after a couple weeks passed, he started to get a little itch, as you and I might say. The ladies, you know? But he kept it under control. And again he asked, “Are you sure there’s no ladies here?” “No, we have sex with animals.” “Ah, my God.” Six months passed and Uncle Hector couldn’t take it any longer, he told me. He said, “By God, I’m just a man. I’m weak, you know? I’m not a saint. I was born in sin, I suppose, and I couldn’t resist. I just needed it.” So he said he walked by a pasture and there was a pig.
So Uncle Hector said, “Well,” he said, “I walked up and I began having sex with a pig.” And he said, all of a sudden, he saw all the miners around him, looking at him. They go, “Uncle Hector, what the hell are you doing over there?” And Uncle Hector’s like indignant, he’s like, “What? Why, you’re the guys that told me that you have sex with animals!” They’re like, “Uncle Hector, you damn fool! That’s Kitchener Leslie’s girlfriend!” Of all the animals he's with Kitchener Leslie’s lady!
_________________
"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
