Light em up.


I once nearly burned down a whole city. Firefighters are truly heroes.

Went to Starbucks and just hung out .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Tied RPB to a chair in Starbucks and made him eat tide pods.

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Elections have consequences.

I havent read the details of that story (there's too much news) so I cant adequately give a snarky dismissive response.

There is a long, lost CFMB cast on this subject...


Late at night to avoid hurting people, we set off Drain-O bombs in Durkin Park. That's what we called them anyway. We didn't find out they were 'MacGuyver' bombs until we unwittingly made the evening news. Never got caught.

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Drove 4-wheelers on thin ice on ponds.

Drove 100 MPH with a Russian exchange student on country roads while ignoring all stop signs

Shot a guy in the face

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Took a dump in a chlorine bottle and started it on fire and my cousin through it into the alley. Only happened once, but I have no idea why this seemed like something to do.

My cousin was also afraid to use my parent's bathroom, so he pee'd in my marble bag.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

nothing too serious. set my buddy on fire playing with gasoline & army men one time.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Buried M-80s in the grass by school and lit them. Big boom and big hole. Ran like hell.

Also did the Drain-o bombs but I think the worst thing we did was damage a slide in the park.

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Rolled under a stopped freight train.

Extorted dues money from our school Cub Scouts.

Jumped on moving freight trains.

Climbed out of our school windows during class and went to 31 flavors.

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I was mouthy when I was a little kid. I would talk a lot of shit to older people. Probably should have gotten my ass kicked a few times.

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Removed the valve stems from my 6th grade teachers tires.

Pastor was PISSED bout that one.

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I had a '76 Toyota Celica and the brakes were going but I couldn't afford the brake job. I drove that fucker to work everyday until there were literally almost no brakes left. I would leave myself enough room and downshift to slow down and then there was just enough brake left to get a complete stop. I drove that way for a couple weeks. I'm sure you won't even believe it was possible. It was utterly idiotic.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Nothing's changed.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Prom date, huh?

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Yup!

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I had a 1978 tan Toyota Celica Liftback. I ended up pushing it down the street with my father to a local shop instead of getting a tow one time in heavy traffic. Kind of risky and dumb.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

I used the emergency brake on my old Galaxie 500.

$5 for that car.

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Nobody asked about your love life, dude.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

my parents 300m was the first car that my family ever got with a decent engine, so a few times i took it out at night and would gun it.... there was a residential street that was long, had only one cul de sac intersection, no stop sighns.... (0.5 mile stretch) it was also flat... homes were far off the road too. it was also very dark too... one time i got up to 110 mph... looking back, it was insanely stupid dangerous and i cant believe i did it.

Damn. I commented before reading the full page. I hate being late to the party!

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

I had a souped-up Mustang in the mid-aughts and got it up to 145 on I-88.

Also did a sweet "Luke & Bo Duke" style, speeding u-turn across the paved, flat part of the median on the same road to head back east.

It was the sweetest stunt ever. The feeling of the g's as I made the flawless, yet unpracticed turn was amazing. The car grabbed the road like your grandfather grabs his own balls - tight. It was literally exactly like you see in the movies.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

Do you have 'Nam flashbacks from it?

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

using bottle rockets and PVC piping (as a shoulder mounted guide) to shoot at each other across a field.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Ogie is a BROTHER NERO. I knew it.

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We would ding dong ditch and then shoot them at people who answered the door.

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Ah, the old Jr. Mossad Scouts.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

The yellow wiffle ball bats were perfect for that, 1\4" hole on the top of bat.

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