It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Pretty sure I just found it. It's Curb your Enthusiasm.

[setting: doctor's clinic]

GEORGE: You see, It's right here. It's all white...

DOCTOR: Oh yeah. Yeah. I've never seen this before.

GEORGE: You've never seen this before?

DOCTOR: I'm gonna have to take a biopsy on that. (George grabs the doctor's arm)

GEORGE: (dramatically) A what?

DOCTOR: A biopsy.

GEORGE: A biopsy?

DOCTOR: Yeah.

GEORGE: Cancer? Is it cancer? Do I have cancer?

DOCTOR: Well I don't know what it is.

(scene ends)

[setting: Jerry's]

GEORGE: A biopsy!

JERRY: What did he say?

GEORGE: He said he didn't know what it was.

JERRY: Alright. So?

GEORGE: When I asked him if it was cancer, he didn't give me a "get outta here". That's what I wanted to hear: "Cancer? Get outta here?"

JERRY: Well, maybe he doesn't have a "get outta here" kind of personality.

GEORGE: How could you be a doctor and not say "get outta here"? It should be part of the training at medical school: "Cancer? Get outta here!" "Go home! What are you crazy? It's a little test. It's nothing. You're a real nut. You know that?" (Jerry gives him half of his sandwich to hopefully shut him up) I told you that God would never let me be successful. I never should've written that pilot. Now the show will be a big hit, we'll make millions of dollars, and I'll be dead. Dead Jerry. Because of this. (showing his lip)

JERRY: Can't you at least die with a little dignity?

GEORGE: No I can't. I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?

I am not a legal expert, how many times do I have to say it?

The Pilot?



http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePilot.html