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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:53 am 
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the reason to see a psychologist is that there might actually be some sort of chemical imbalance that medication can actually take care of.

i had a neighbor who was in his late 50's, was very successful at work in a job that helped people, raised children who were also very successful. We'd sit and talk and i could tell the guy had 0 self esteem. 2nd guessed himself a lot, asked me if that sounded good/right on certain topics(i was mid 20's at the time wtf did i know). I was talking ot his wife and i asked about it, and she said thats just how he'd been but it had been getting worse and she'd noticed it. apparently he had some sort of chemical imbalance and had it for years. after a few months the dude was slightly different. it was more enjoyable talking with him. i dont' remember what it was...maybe low T or something I don't remember.

These are the things midlife crisis are born from. 45-50 years goes buy and you had all these things you thought you'd be doing and you feel like you've made mistakes even when you are in a pretty good spot.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:58 am 
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go back to the core tenets of your religion, whatever that was or may be, and focus on what moral behavior is.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:19 am 
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You could also just ask Lou Manfredini -- he knows a lot about stuff.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:30 am 
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Godfella wrote:
HawaiiYou - I'm far from Dr. Phil but have learned a few things in 50+ years.

There's a lot of good advice above mixed in with some humor - which is very important. You have to laugh in life and find lightness even if it is at your expense. We all do/say stupid things at times. Fuhgeddaboudit, laugh it off and move on. However, never be anybody's fool. That does not resonate well for your soul.

Try to do good things for people and be kind - especially if they are in need. Quality people remember those who have done good for them when they needed help. You will personally feel better and be repaid threefold in the future.

Dwelling on negativity, the past (here comes the Ditka meme), regrets, would'ves, could'ves, mistakes, etc. will just drag your soul down as low as you let it. Before you know it, you are down. I think Carrie Fisher said this; “Resentment is like drinking a poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”

Faith. The saying "You have yours, I have mine." is what I live by. No sermons here. However, a good trip to the confessional every now and then works pretty good for me. I don't think priests are allowed to wear a wire... are they? (Humor).

I can't speak to the therapy thing. However, the people I have personally seen that received talk therapy and/or meds are really worse off than when they started. Some of the things they "discover" during the sessions gave them more to be sad/anxious/nervous about. To each his own.

Forgive and let go. Everybody has crap done to them in life. It's not fair but it is what it is. I'm not talking 12 step stuff but if that's what you need to do then do it. I mean stop carrying around anything crappy from the past with you everyday. The chances are pretty good that the people involved are dead, don't care and/or haven't thought about it in years.

I am blessed and very fortunate to have a great wife of 30 years. She is a rock and the heart of my family. That is also extremely important. A partner, confidant and an unwavering genuine alliance.

We all have our own unique issues in life and at times they can be overwhelming. You have to try and find your own unique way of coping. Try taking bits and pieces of information you like and create "your way".

In closing, don't underestimate the power of a Xanex every now and then. I understand that stuff works very well.

Good stuff above. Great stuff. I'm gonna save this to read it again.

I'm trying to do a lot of that stuff, and it doesn't always work, but there's no healthy alternative.

My only quibble with Godfella is that therapy is usually pretty effective. I wish I would get myself back in it. Some of the things I learned about myself were stunning. I thought I was completely conscious of my thought processes . . . and it turns out I'm not.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:35 pm 
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tommy wrote:
Godfella wrote:
HawaiiYou - I'm far from Dr. Phil but have learned a few things in 50+ years.

There's a lot of good advice above mixed in with some humor - which is very important. You have to laugh in life and find lightness even if it is at your expense. We all do/say stupid things at times. Fuhgeddaboudit, laugh it off and move on. However, never be anybody's fool. That does not resonate well for your soul.

Try to do good things for people and be kind - especially if they are in need. Quality people remember those who have done good for them when they needed help. You will personally feel better and be repaid threefold in the future.

Dwelling on negativity, the past (here comes the Ditka meme), regrets, would'ves, could'ves, mistakes, etc. will just drag your soul down as low as you let it. Before you know it, you are down. I think Carrie Fisher said this; “Resentment is like drinking a poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”

Faith. The saying "You have yours, I have mine." is what I live by. No sermons here. However, a good trip to the confessional every now and then works pretty good for me. I don't think priests are allowed to wear a wire... are they? (Humor).

I can't speak to the therapy thing. However, the people I have personally seen that received talk therapy and/or meds are really worse off than when they started. Some of the things they "discover" during the sessions gave them more to be sad/anxious/nervous about. To each his own.

Forgive and let go. Everybody has crap done to them in life. It's not fair but it is what it is. I'm not talking 12 step stuff but if that's what you need to do then do it. I mean stop carrying around anything crappy from the past with you everyday. The chances are pretty good that the people involved are dead, don't care and/or haven't thought about it in years.

I am blessed and very fortunate to have a great wife of 30 years. She is a rock and the heart of my family. That is also extremely important. A partner, confidant and an unwavering genuine alliance.

We all have our own unique issues in life and at times they can be overwhelming. You have to try and find your own unique way of coping. Try taking bits and pieces of information you like and create "your way".

In closing, don't underestimate the power of a Xanex every now and then. I understand that stuff works very well.

Good stuff above. Great stuff. I'm gonna save this to read it again.

I'm trying to do a lot of that stuff, and it doesn't always work, but there's no healthy alternative.

My only quibble with Godfella is that therapy is usually pretty effective. I wish I would get myself back in it. Some of the things I learned about myself were stunning. I thought I was completely conscious of my thought processes . . . and it turns out I'm not.

Thanks, tommy. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect towards therapy - the administrator or recipient. I was conveying the 3 - 5 examples of people I personally know that ended up with mixed results at best. I'm sure there a more positive experiences that have changed people's lives for the better. I always commend and admire anybody who changes their lives for the better. Apologies for any misunderstanding.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 8:38 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
Darkside wrote:
If you're lacking in confidence or self esteem just read the bible


Better yet, read some Baby McNown posts. That should immediately make you feel better about yourself.

:lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 8:39 pm 
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Godfella wrote:
tommy wrote:
Godfella wrote:
HawaiiYou - I'm far from Dr. Phil but have learned a few things in 50+ years.

There's a lot of good advice above mixed in with some humor - which is very important. You have to laugh in life and find lightness even if it is at your expense. We all do/say stupid things at times. Fuhgeddaboudit, laugh it off and move on. However, never be anybody's fool. That does not resonate well for your soul.

Try to do good things for people and be kind - especially if they are in need. Quality people remember those who have done good for them when they needed help. You will personally feel better and be repaid threefold in the future.

Dwelling on negativity, the past (here comes the Ditka meme), regrets, would'ves, could'ves, mistakes, etc. will just drag your soul down as low as you let it. Before you know it, you are down. I think Carrie Fisher said this; “Resentment is like drinking a poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”

Faith. The saying "You have yours, I have mine." is what I live by. No sermons here. However, a good trip to the confessional every now and then works pretty good for me. I don't think priests are allowed to wear a wire... are they? (Humor).

I can't speak to the therapy thing. However, the people I have personally seen that received talk therapy and/or meds are really worse off than when they started. Some of the things they "discover" during the sessions gave them more to be sad/anxious/nervous about. To each his own.

Forgive and let go. Everybody has crap done to them in life. It's not fair but it is what it is. I'm not talking 12 step stuff but if that's what you need to do then do it. I mean stop carrying around anything crappy from the past with you everyday. The chances are pretty good that the people involved are dead, don't care and/or haven't thought about it in years.

I am blessed and very fortunate to have a great wife of 30 years. She is a rock and the heart of my family. That is also extremely important. A partner, confidant and an unwavering genuine alliance.

We all have our own unique issues in life and at times they can be overwhelming. You have to try and find your own unique way of coping. Try taking bits and pieces of information you like and create "your way".

In closing, don't underestimate the power of a Xanex every now and then. I understand that stuff works very well.

Good stuff above. Great stuff. I'm gonna save this to read it again.

I'm trying to do a lot of that stuff, and it doesn't always work, but there's no healthy alternative.

My only quibble with Godfella is that therapy is usually pretty effective. I wish I would get myself back in it. Some of the things I learned about myself were stunning. I thought I was completely conscious of my thought processes . . . and it turns out I'm not.

Thanks, tommy. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect towards therapy - the administrator or recipient. I was conveying the 3 - 5 examples of people I personally know that ended up with mixed results at best. I'm sure there a more positive experiences that have changed people's lives for the better. I always commend and admire anybody who changes their lives for the better. Apologies for any misunderstanding.

No, I totally get what you say. An excellent post!!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 9:09 am 
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Somewhat related, there's this really fucked up thing going on with millennials right now that I've mentioned before called "imposter syndrome". Per Wikipedia, "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"."

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:47 am 
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Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
Somewhat related, there's this really fucked up thing going on with millennials right now that I've mentioned before called "imposter syndrome". Per Wikipedia, "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"."


That is not a millennial thing. I assume just about anyone with a unique job or positive situation feels that. It's a good thing. It keeps you humble and working hard.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 11:47 am 
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tommy wrote:
Some of the things I learned about myself were stunning. I thought I was completely conscious of my thought processes . . . and it turns out I'm not.

Was this standard laying-on-the-couch-while-the-Dr.-draws-titties-on-a-legal-pad therapy or was this Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 11:49 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
Somewhat related, there's this really fucked up thing going on with millennials right now that I've mentioned before called "imposter syndrome". Per Wikipedia, "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"."


That is not a millennial thing. I assume just about anyone with a unique job or positive situation feels that. It's a good thing. It keeps you humble and working hard.

Bold part is correct. I think it's actually an inverse phenomenon as compared to people who spend all their time telling everyone how great they themselves are, make no errors, etc ... Trump type stuff. Basically, a given dummy thinks he's brilliant and a given genius thinks he's dumb as dogshit.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 11:53 am 
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Don Tiny wrote:
Basically, a given dummy thinks he's brilliant and a given genius thinks he's dumb as dogshit.
Sounds like we have an epidemic here.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 12:02 pm 
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Don Tiny wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
Somewhat related, there's this really fucked up thing going on with millennials right now that I've mentioned before called "imposter syndrome". Per Wikipedia, "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"."


That is not a millennial thing. I assume just about anyone with a unique job or positive situation feels that. It's a good thing. It keeps you humble and working hard.

Bold part is correct. I think it's actually an inverse phenomenon as compared to people who spend all their time telling everyone how great they themselves are, make no errors, etc ... Trump type stuff. Basically, a given dummy thinks he's brilliant and a given genius thinks he's dumb as dogshit.


I think an argument could be made that the millennial generation has been coddled with participation trophies and taught there are no losers, so when they look back at what they actually "won," they realize it was mostly meaningless.

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