You suck. Shakes and floats are FAR SUPERIOR.

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Yes. I like this.

#Truth

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Pick a breed and stick with it, for the love of God.

I swear when this guy used to play against the Cubs back in the day, he always came up with a hit. Hated him as a kid.

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I like a good chocolate malt but I don't think any other flavors work. Vanilla malt? Maybe, I guess. Strawberry malt? No. Banana malt? Never.

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Some of the best dogs I've ever know were mutts.

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Denied. Those dogs are the best. Give me a mangled mutt over a purebred pitt any day.

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Say something, will ya? Anything.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Fat people eating cinnabon while oogling the mannequins at Victoria's Secret and avoiding high school kids with nothing better to do and looking at Hello Kitty cell phone cases.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I more meant the absurd breed combos like a Huskie-Corgi. That's just mean.

It must suck to be poor.

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You never miss your wealth, till your well went dry
Seem like only yesterday, you were here smiling
Now you gone away, but I know you in a better place
No traces of you, what can I do?
Alone and confused

Maybe in 2005. (Great year.) They are all empty now.

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Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

Anything with a portion of poodle. Actually, all poodles, full or partial, should be dropped into a live volcano.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Dying malls are the worst. I know those bays aren't actually meant to be "sitting" or "play" areas. I think Fox Valley has 2 of its 4 anchor stores completely shut down.

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Good heavens, this thread has taken an interesting turn this evening. We must take a quick break to honor Capitalism, but when we return from that break, we shall continue our discussion of the excess of parody threads. Our lines will be open tonight. Should you encounter difficulty getting through, then we may suggest calling after we have said goodnight to a previous caller.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

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Surprised that Chicago Ridge and North Riverside are still holding up.

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dead-mall porn:

I'm good for a little malt liquor.

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Ya hear the one about Helen Keller falling in a well?

She broke three fingers calling for help.