This isn't a parody thread. I'm getting emails from our HOA about this seemingly huge crime wave of thieves opening packages in our neighborhood. Everyone seems pretty upset about it and the police are increasing their presence in our neighborhood because of it. Everyone is buying video doorbells too. I'm sure the next step is to start installing panic rooms and maybe building a wall around the subdivision.

The best part though is that a person claimed they had a package never show up from Amazon a few weeks ago and now she was questioning if it was actually stolen or not. Two days later, she gave an update that she actually found the package unopened in her house. I think it may be time to re-prioritize some things if you get so many packages delivered that you seemingly don't care a package didn't come out until someone else had a theft and that you get so many packages that you didn't even realize it was actually sitting in your house for a few weeks.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

These white people will be fine. Seriously.

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We had one stolen. Looked like a laptop or something. Was actually a new toilet seat.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Move.

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For $52, I'll give you a package.

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city people win again

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

The city has condo associations, which are far worse. If you want to see real Fascism, observe a condo association.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

i noticed these small van amazon delivery people take photos of the delivered package so you cant blame them when it goes missing.

ten years ago the first time i had something delivered to my apartment in the city it was stolen, so from there on out i had to have stuff delivered to work or parents house

Americans wanted to sell mom and pop brick and mortar shops down the river, in favor of Amazon...this is the price you pay. Nomination denied. Long live Sears and JC Penny

When I was on our townhouse association I fought the good fight. We passed rules geared at trashy neighbors and I always voted to allow something if it was tasteful. We had retirees that had nothing better to do than to walk around and report violations of other owners. It was quite sad.

I now live in a single family home. We get a lot of Amazon orders and have never had an issue. Neither have any of our neighbors.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

Ironically you cite Sears and Penny, the original mail order companies for which people could steal packages. Whoops.

+1 Move!

Long live those old Penny's catalogs..a timeless treasure for young boys growing up in the 80s and 90s

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

For 50$ I'll set up a sniper blind with a view of your door on a delivery day. Anyone who touches the package without your consent can be knee capped. I ask to be paid in Costco gift cards.

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Lets not forget the Sunday ads growing up.

Reminds me of a certain dishwasher at a restaurant I worked at in the 80s. That is just about how it was with him at the break table with the Sunday newspaper ads.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

This is my advice as well. Move to where the Polish people be at.

I give much daps to the Podish for increasing my property value and also for providing an endless stream of jokes.

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Move to Rockton, IL where you can avoid all the blacks.

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Honestly though, one of the best inventions that Amazon created was the use of lockers. They are pretty much at every 7-11 and Whole Foods in the area.


At the very worst, if a package is too big, you'll have to pick it up at one of their centers.

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Yeah, but the methhead population goes way up so you might come home to your house having all the wires pulled.

Just take an empty Amazon box, insert live rattlesnake, tape it up/poke some airholes in it and leave it on your front stoop with a webcam pointed at it.

I might even consider Big Red’s stomping grounds if I didn’t work in the city & didn’t mind my kids growing up to be country-retarded. I do enjoy going out to the sticks every now and again, but I don’t feel right unless I see some Polish guy imitating Fast & Furious in his little bullshit car on Cumberland.

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Isn't avoiding going somewhere to pick up a package the entire point of ordering online?

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

or better yet, place an IED inside of it.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

I'm surprised houses haven't started building in post box receivers into the front foyer. Like the kind you drop your box into at the post office. Only makes sense, deliveries aren't going away.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.