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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

The only person I call regularly is my dad, unless it's somebody's birthday. Almost everything else is text, email, or instant messaging depending on the person or the time of day.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

My phone is always on "Do not disturb." Everyone knows I don't answer. Text or email.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

He describes nearly everything as either "incredible" or "amazing" when they could have been more accuarely described as "good" or "somewhat amusing."

i podcasted yesterday's transition and he dropped a perfect Parkins gem.

Jesus...

Arguing about whether or not a coach made the right decision because Option A results in success 46% of the time and Option B results in success 49% of the time is not good radio to me. As Mac pointed out, there are other things happening on the field that can affect a coach's decision besides "what the math says."

Parkins needs to learn how to cool his jets regarding certain topics. Beating a dead horse is an understatement.

It started with the blind trust of Maddon/Theo/Jed/Cubs regarding literally any move.

Now he's quickly becoming an equally annoying jag with his love of Pace/Nagy.

Parkins' belief in McCarthy as a bad coach is right. But omg we get it. This is Chicago radio and I hear more about McCarthy out of Parkins' mouth than Milwaukee radio.


All these guys are jaggoffs. The over-the-top too often repeated opinions on them is PTFB.

He often sounds like that guy who read Grantland or Fangraphs for the first time. And now they won't shut the fuck up

Well, actually, kicking the 43-yard FG was the sub-optimal strategy because going for it on 4th would've increased their winning probability by 3%

100% agree on both posts and at the second one. The buzz words make guys like that sound like interchangeable robots, but they think they sound brilliant.

Mac's presence helps to temper the things you mentioned, but when he's not there a solo Parkins sounds like a windbag who thinks he's on the right side of history about everything. He just doens't come off as likable or open to opinions other than his own.

His shock when NFL coaches mis-manage the clock or fail at in-game strategy is so annoying. Motherfucker, is this the first year you have watched the NFL???? Every coach is a dumbass with that stuff

Complaining about clock management is football's version of complaining about the power play: you can always say it and you'll never be wrong.

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Parkins is a master of speaking without saying anything when he's solo.

He'd be perfect for AM 1000.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Why is he so obsessed with Mike McCarthy? Has he lost a lot of money betting on the Packers?

Parko not on my level.. not even close... How dare you sir

Don't let anyone take your picture before you finish your cherry slurpee.

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That's lipstick, his teeth would be red if it was a slurpee or slush.

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This guy is truly a 7th Dan Black Belt of saying absolutely nothing of import or value, but being able to babble on for hours.

His mere one handed, remote Chi-strike would cripple Parkins in an instant.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

Dude, give the man some credit. Those lips probably properly ate Ginger Zee's box.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

Very bizarre sportsradio Wednesday afternoon on m&p. Mac spent 15 minutes talking Parkins down from a ledge about his sleep issues. Mac played doctor recommending sleep aids. Parkins apparently does no exercise or walking which would help. I only hate Parkins when he force-feeds sabermetrics & sjw. I'm very sympathetic to him with his back history. But, this is stuff to talk to a doctor about, not get counseling on sportsradio from guy with a dubious past with drugs.

Honestly, Parkins is turning out to be more of a human curiosity than Grobstein.

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Get 'im, 'Spo!

Nice.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

Bernstein likes to say “anecdotal”
Grobstein: “No doubt about that”
Mac: “Desirous”

Actually, vitoscotti, my history with legal and illegal chemicals (learning the science of drugs, the brain and human behavior) makes me the PERFECT person to explore his dilemma. Think I can relate to the restlessness of a 32-year-old, recently-married, ascending sports radio star who's on the cusp of the biggest business deal in his young career? With experience, and they don't all have to have positive outcomes, comes wisdom.

Pulling the goalie cures all ills!

-Mackey circa November 2018

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Yesterday they played a soundbite from Les where he was saying no one on the current Bears roster, including David Robinson, could start for the '85 team, and the current tight ends couldn't carry Emery Moorehead's jock.

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he soundbyte of Les was hysterical...."David" Robinson
I only wish M&P would have spent more time on it. I was old enough to watch and experience the greatness of the '85 Bears. That defense as a whole is one of the all time best....that being said, Mack and Hicks would run circles around the '85 Bears.

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Is it odd that Parkins is pitching mattresses while admitting recently that he has trouble falling asleep?

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Mac: I would run for the hills if I were the fan of an NFL team that hired Pat Fitzgerald.
Parkins: Really, why? I don't get get the calculus people do to determine that.

perhaps, i giggle each time i hear parkins selling me erection pills ("....promo code score, there's never been a more appropriate promo code than that")