What are some of the best ones? Specificity when it comes to your target is key, obviously. They can't be used universally.

Not a huge Colbert fan but him calling Ted Cruz a half melted GI Joe a couple years back is awesome.

Forget movies and TV shows. What are some of the best real life ones?

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Isn't Colbert a TV Show?

I'm confused by these strict rules.

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You know me like that.

They have writers but I'm giving late night hosts credit for their own jokes.

I'm disregarding scripted TV shows and movies.

But the rules won't be strictly enforced here. All great insults are welcome I think.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Imploring people to eat cum is evergreen.

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If this is the best we got, and it probably is, an all time worst insults thread might be more fitting

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

How about I hate you so much I hope you have to watch every episode of Entourage front to back AND the movie.

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Hollywood Henderson saying Terry Bradshaw couldn't spell cat if you spotted him the C and the A.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

I think this has been used many times, but Terry Bowden once said of Steve Spurrier, "The only score he didn't run up was his SAT."

John McKay being asked about his team's execution and replying that he's "in favor of it".

All-timer.

There's some great John McKay Show clips on YouTube. Those classic early-80s pregame coaches show.

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You know me like that.

I’m too drunk to quote don rinkles in dirty work at the movie theater. But don rinkles at the theater in dirty work.

If my life were any more sad, there'd be an annual charity 10k run dedicated to it.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I have two words for you, and they’re not “happy birthday”

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-- source

I'm so ugly, I couldn't arouse suspicion.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

IMU would be an all-time prison bitch. Hell, he'd even get raped in Monopoly jail.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Scottie Pippen trash talking Karl Malone at the free throw line, "You ain't gonna make this. The Mailman don't deliver on Sundays [which was the day of the game]."

One time Paul Mooney said that Barbra Bush looked, "Like the motherfucker on the Quaker Oats box."

Churchill had a couple of good ones. One time he was at a party and some guest said that he was "disgustingly drunk." He responded, "My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."

Another time someone's wife told him that if he was her husband she would poison his tea. His response, "If you were my wife I would drink it."

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"Now comes good sailing. Moose. Indian."

"Those who travel the high road of humility in Washington, D.C., are not bothered by heavy traffic."

In front of every important politician in the country. I LOL'd.

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You know me like that.

I always assumed the if you were my wife I would drink it line was exaggerated for history, if not completely made up.

If that’s a verbatim true story there’s no close second.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

You could probably apply that sentiment to history in general.

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"Now comes good sailing. Moose. Indian."

Socrates and Plato would have benefited from living in the digital age.

Actually probably not.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

My first remembrance of insult nuance was "If I wanted any lip from you, I'd rattle my zipper"

What comes to mind is when people say they don't suffer fools lightly. The comeback is "apparently your mom did"

Dan Bernstein would spend a year issuing daily screeds regarding Socrates' debauchery. Plato would be filed away in the janitor's closet of some obscure embassy.

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"Now comes good sailing. Moose. Indian."

Mike Ditka once said of Dexter Manley. "He has the IQ of a Grapefruit".

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You must have been too drunk to get his name correct.

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Normal Americans said to Obama, "How can we miss you if you won't go away."


"tee hee"-Charlie Daniels

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"Change has come to Amerika."- TFG

Guilty as charged.

If I want to hear an ass, I'll fart.

That's a great one, but I think this one by Scottie is even better.



I've accomplished more in this league by accident than Larry Johnson has on purpose.

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great game. lucasarts had some classics. my favorite was "loom".

Why don't you get a horse and live in the mountains someplace and dont bother anybody.

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