It will be chapter 2 of my novel She tells me the way I walk scares the cats

I think I've always been honest about it.

_________________
Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

When I yell at sports
It scares the cat some she says
Then I try to walk.

_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

@ FS and DS

Wait . . . I was thinking of doing that. Turning people's (most Dr. Ken's) posts into poetry.

If you read Dr. Ken's posts, they're perfect for poetry and often end in a little coda that gives the words an ironic twist.

Basically, don't steal my thunder.

My thunder, stolen
Thought of doing it first, dude
Next time, dark, next time

_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Darko pm'd me this. I'm dead serious.


“The Wussy Boy Manifesto”
by Darkside

My name is Darkside
and I am a Wussy Boy.

It's taken me a long time to admit it.

I remember shouting in high school,
"No, Dad, I'm not gay! I'm just... sensitive.
I tried to like jet planes and hot rods
and football and Budweiser poster girls
but I never got the hang of it!
I don't know what's wrong with me..."

And then, I saw him,
there on the silver screen,
bigger than life and unafraid
of earrings and hair dye
and rejoicing in the music of The Cure
and Morrissey and Siouxsie and the Banshees,
talking loud and walking proud,
my Wussy Boy icon:
Duckie in Pretty in Pink.

And I realized I wasn't alone.

And I looked around and saw other Wussy Boys
living large and proud of who they are:
Anthony Michael Hall, Wussy Boy;
Michael J. Fox, Wussy Boy;
and Lord God King
of the Wussy Boy movement,
Matthew Broderick,
unafraid to prove to the world
that sensitive guys kick butt!

Now, I am no longer afraid
of my Wussiness,
No!
I am empowered by it!

When I pull up to a stoplight
and some redneck-testosterone-
methamphetamine-jock-fratboy-
dumb jerk
pulls up beside me
cranking his Trans Am's stereo
with power chord anthems
to big boobs and date rape,
I no longer avert my gaze, no,
I just crank all 12 watts of my car stereo
and I rock out right into his face:

"I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does!"

I am Wussy Boy, hear me roar!

(meow)

Bar fight? Pshaww!
You think you can take me, huh?
just because I like poetry
better than I like Sports Illustrated?
Well, allow me to caution you
for I am not the average, every day,
run-of-the-mill Wussy Boy you beat up
in high school, punk:
I am Wuss Core!

Don't make me get Renaissance
on your narrow butt
because I WILL write a poem about you!
A poem that will tear your psyche limb from limb,
that will expose your selfish insecurities,
that will wound you deeper
and more severely
than knives and chains and gats
and baseball bats
could ever hope to do.

You may see 65 inches of Wussy Boy
standing in front of you,
but my steel-toed soul
is 10-foot tall and bulletproof!

So, bring the pain, punk,
beat the crap out of me!
Show all the people in this bar
What a real man can do
to a smack-talking Wussy Boy like me,
but you'd better remember
my bruises will fade,
my cuts will heal,
my scars will shrink and disappear,
but my poem
about how pitiful, small, and helpless
you really are
will last
forever.

_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Section 162!

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

That was a real Spoken Word poem I saw. Interesting, and I like it and it's funny, but . . . a little too self-deprecating.

No fucking way I would ever talk about this place with anyone other than someone who posts here.



2008 or 2018, it still sounds lame to talk about your "messageboard buddies".

_________________
I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

Godfella it the most likable person on this board

When posters and their families encounter JORR in the wild, the children should be required to address him as "Mister Road Rod."

_________________
Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley