share your experiences here. We are in the midst of one of our worst years ever,terrible season, our coach is a dick with ears. So he's giving a big locker room speech and he says who is going to lead us tonight and this kid who is pretty bad says I'll lead us coach.they go out they get killed and he berates this poor kid in the locker room after the game. Everybody just stands there kind of shellshocked and they get dressed and out.

Me being me wants my kid to tell the coach he's a penis and to fuck off and this kid they volunteered did an admirable job. He owes this kid an apology. The kid is terrible but he stuck his neck out there. The coach has been an asshole the whole season and I don't know what the right answer or right thing to do is but I'd love it if my son stood up to him. Is that right or wrong? You guys have stories?

Our last game is Monday. I may be more coherent in the morning but right now I'm super pissed.

I guess I'm asking have you ever told a coach off? I did. In eighth grade and i told my coach he was an asshole and I didn't want to play for him. That's not always wrong.

Not enough info for advice. I assume this is 7th or 8th grade basketball? A coach can be a red ass and still be a good coach. A coach can be sunshine and roses and be a bad coach. But the whole "who's going to lead us?" isn't something you do in the locker room, that's for sure. On top of that miscalculation, the wrong kid answered. He had a different kid in mind. Be that as it may, the answer is "Coach, you're the leader".

For sure. I wasn't really looking for advice, I heard the story tonight and I was pissed. I can't believe the coach acts like that and I didn't really know how jerky he was until tonight. I hear him scream or say stuff like that was terrible you're the worst line that was the worst power-play I've ever seen that was the worst penalty kill I've ever seen you guys are the worst line ive ever seen blah blah blah. Several kids are pretty much checked out the last six weeks or so. The team is terrible and there's very little interest in practice or games. I just can't believe that he doesn't think he's part of that problem.

Ah...sounds like he's a nightmare. He's not a red ass, he's a psychopath.

Immature. Red flags all over the place.

Coach is definitely a peenus.

All that does is ruin the sport for kids. They get burnt on playing a game they enjoy because an adult can't control himself.

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95% of kids "burn out" because they fail and have the mindset that failure will be consistent. Sports isn't a social club. It's a competition. They are human, they have the fire to be as good as they can be or they don't. This particular psychopath notwithstanding.

Telling the coach off is not going to accomplish anything other than drop you down to his level. But if you do choose to talk to him make sure it is in private without your kid or any kid around and that you wait a day or so until after the particular event that made you mad.

I have been around coaches and been a coach for the last few years, and it is a difficult job, but sadly many coaches make it even harder by being jerks. But IMO many youth coaches completely misunderstand what they are doing. They may know some X's and O's, but they do not understand the relationship side of things. And some think that by yelling, screaming, and such they are holding kids accountable. Obviously that is not true. Kids need to be held accountable, but there are much better ways to go about it. You have to build kids up and be a source of encouragement. I had an old coach tell me one time that you should never tell a kid anything negative until you have first built a good relationship with them, and when it is appropriate to say something negative that you should always make sure you try to say it in terms of correction and improvement never to just tear down. That is easier said than done at times in the heat of the moment, but that should be the goal. And most importantly when you do mess up be honest about it and own it. Kids need to see that their coaches make mistakes as well.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I don't think that I've ever gone off or berated a player of mine. They weren't getting paid and there to have fun. The only time I ever raised my voice at a player of mine was when I saw them doing something silly that could get someone hurt. (Playoff game were I could see a 12 year old thinking about throwing a curve ball he didn't have).

Maybe if they were not practicing hard, but never in a game. I thought it defeated the purpose.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Yeah i did when I played basketball in High School. I didn't get much time though most people thought that was better than the guys that played in front of me. I even played one of them one on one one day after practice and beat the hell out of him twice as the whole team watched.


It was our last game of the season and we were getting blown out. He inserted me in during the third quarter and I played fairly well. He subbed me after about 4-5 minutes and i thought i should have finished given the fact that we were down thirty.

I got frustrated after being subbed and went to the bench a little dejected. After the game our coach gave an end of the season speech and afterwards he asked did anyone have anything else to say. I said yeah i did. Told him i was tired of being benched. He said that he had to "look at some people"..I asked who since there were only one to 2 people lower on the depth chart than I. I continued to go back and forth a little bit and after a few minutes he said that maybe "we needed to part company". I agreed with him and as a result my little career came to an end.

I knew that there was a chance for it to go that way but i didn't care. I could have smoothed it over and been added for the following season but i didn't. i simply used it as motivation in other areas of my life. Never looked back after that.

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The main coach I ever had didn't cut anyone who practiced hard and had good grades. He knew how to coach and stitch together a team of friends/clowns. He didn't b.s. anyone and made everyone better at something. Then and talking with him years later probably was the biggest influence on my life outside of family. But then again, we always felt like family.

A couple of years later I was running in an open meet in Atlanta running a distance I never ran competitively in HS. (I Was two years young for my grade & small). I blew it out in the 400m and heard a call from the crowd after the final. The guy called me by my coach's nickname for me, called me one of my coach's boys. Then called my college's coach an idiot for not having me on his team.

That guy had me going by his age old program that didn't work for what I did. I couldn't believe that I wasn't having fun and had quit. Then the bastard watched me run a time just below Olympic trials qualifying without practice and spikes.

I actually miss my old coach to this day. I like to think that I tried to coach like him.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

When you're coaching grammar school kids and you're running around like Coach K, you're a jerkoff.

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The beatings will continue until morale improves

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You wouldn't know anything about it, fagg0t! You never competed in your whole life!

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You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you.

I actually have a situation like that this year. The backup was clearly better one on one then the starter and from day one would dominate against him in drills and controlled scrimmage situations. However, the backup had never played organized basketball before and had no knowledge of the rules or basketball intelligence. He would repeatedly sit in the paint on offense, step over the line on foul shots and inbound plays. He also could not be trusted against a press to either get the inbound in within 5 seconds or if he was on the court to go the correct spot. Some of the other kids were pissed he was not starting until the first game and all of the stuff that was done wrong in practice carried over to the game.

Now fast forward two months and he is probably our best player now. After months of practice and games he no longer makes simple mistakes like step over the line on inbound plays and is aware of where his feet are when on offense.

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Yes, that's been established. Is there anybody else you want to blame for when you "burned out"?

Not me. I had great coaches as a kid. I wasn't good enough to play past high school.

But I've seen it in friends when I was younger, and again when I was coaching kids. Way too many assholes trying to relive their glory days through kids.

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A lot of the Daddy Ball coaches I have come across did not even play organized sports past junior high. One in particular i'm friends with on facebook walked off our football team in the middle of practice during 7th grade because a coach told him to do the drill again when it was hot out. He never played again.

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Since we're trading anecdotes, I've never seen a coach induced burnout. A kid burns out competitively. He either loses interest, never really had much interest to begin with, or realizes he's at the end of the line talent-wise. Blaming coaches is convenient and all the rage today. You either try and tear out an opponent's heart or you go sit in the stands. Ultimately, it's the players' choice. We all burned out here. I burned out because of ME.

If I were writing this book, the mom playing your character would slash the coach's tires, key his doors and quarter panels, break his windshield, drive by his house and baseball bat his mailbox off, and then go home and sleep like a baby knowing there was nothing more you could do.

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I like thinking big. . . If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-Donald J. Trump, BPE

This explains so much

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Did. Not. Happen.

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He's 14. I'm not talking to any coach on his behalf. He can handle it however he wants but I'm really disappointed he just stood there and let his teammate get berated by an asshole. I'm pretty sure I'd have said hey coach he did fine what the hell have you led us to except misery and losses? Quit making crappy lines and telling us we suck. Maybe we're a reflection of our coach, maybe you suck.

You seriously expect a 14 yr old kid to say that to their coach?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

My worst experience as a parent was the first year of softball. The manager was decent. He's a pyscho, but for whatever reason he behaved that year. But he would cancel games if he had a long day at work or had a beer league game to play in himself. So I took over the team and have had it for 5 years now.

His daughter was a year younger, so he stayed at the level below ours. He was suspended and effectively banned from coaching after screaming out "I told you I dont want that BROAD umpin my games!" about a 20 year old umpire and former player.

He was upset about her calling a runner out at first to end the game. His team was losing 10-0.

He was a good instructor, just a psycho.

You really hit the jackpot when you find a guy who knows what he's doing and keeps it fun for the kids. But there are very few of us.

You sound like every crappy high school athlete I've ever talked to.

I think you maybe coached me in little league 20 years ago

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Expect no, would have liked, yes. I'd have said it at 14 and I could see my daughter saying it. My son wouldn't say it in a million years. But I do wish he'd have stuck up for his teammate somehow.

Pretty sure this is a Whistler thread.

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You never miss your wealth, till your well went dry
Seem like only yesterday, you were here smiling
Now you gone away, but I know you in a better place
No traces of you, what can I do?
Alone and confused

Guess I was lucky learned something from each coach I had....baseball and basketball

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.