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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:22 pm 
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storkinastorm wrote:
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Spaulding wrote:
share your experiences here. We are in the midst of one of our worst years ever,terrible season, our coach is a dick with ears. So he's giving a big locker room speech and he says who is going to lead us tonight and this kid who is pretty bad says I'll lead us coach.they go out they get killed and he berates this poor kid in the locker room after the game. Everybody just stands there kind of shellshocked and they get dressed and out.

Me being me wants my kid to tell the coach he's a penis and to fuck off and this kid they volunteered did an admirable job. He owes this kid an apology. The kid is terrible but he stuck his neck out there. The coach has been an asshole the whole season and I don't know what the right answer or right thing to do is but I'd love it if my son stood up to him. Is that right or wrong? You guys have stories?

Our last game is Monday. I may be more coherent in the morning but right now I'm super pissed.

I guess I'm asking have you ever told a coach off? I did. In eighth grade and i told my coach he was an asshole and I didn't want to play for him. That's not always wrong.


Yeah i did when I played basketball in High School. I didn't get much time though most people thought that was better than the guys that played in front of me. I even played one of them one on one one day after practice and beat the hell out of him twice as the whole team watched.


It was our last game of the season and we were getting blown out. He inserted me in during the third quarter and I played fairly well. He subbed me after about 4-5 minutes and i thought i should have finished given the fact that we were down thirty.

I got frustrated after being subbed and went to the bench a little dejected. After the game our coach gave an end of the season speech and afterwards he asked did anyone have anything else to say. I said yeah i did. Told him i was tired of being benched. He said that he had to "look at some people"..I asked who since there were only one to 2 people lower on the depth chart than I. I continued to go back and forth a little bit and after a few minutes he said that maybe "we needed to part company". I agreed with him and as a result my little career came to an end.

I knew that there was a chance for it to go that way but i didn't care. I could have smoothed it over and been added for the following season but i didn't. i simply used it as motivation in other areas of my life. Never looked back after that.


You sound like every crappy high school athlete I've ever talked to.


I was decent. Good enough to where one of Depaul's Assistant coaches thought enough to inquire about me after watching us scrimmage the City All Star team prior to them playing at Malcolm X or Kennedy King that year.

Had I stuck with it I could have played somewhere in college. One of the guys that was on our High School staff actually wanted to place a call on my behalf down to the college that I eventually attended and I told him no because I was just done. The politics were what turned me off more than anything. Wasn't about merit. You can accept that but when it is about things not related to merit then that's troublesome.

Funny because four years after graduating from High School I ended up being a colleague of my former High School coach. Put all that stuff aside and we were good. One of my guys from High School said he spoke with our coach a few months ago and he still remembered the little outburst from back in the day.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 6:06 am 
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long time guy wrote:
Spaulding wrote:
share your experiences here. We are in the midst of one of our worst years ever,terrible season, our coach is a dick with ears. So he's giving a big locker room speech and he says who is going to lead us tonight and this kid who is pretty bad says I'll lead us coach.they go out they get killed and he berates this poor kid in the locker room after the game. Everybody just stands there kind of shellshocked and they get dressed and out.

Me being me wants my kid to tell the coach he's a penis and to fuck off and this kid they volunteered did an admirable job. He owes this kid an apology. The kid is terrible but he stuck his neck out there. The coach has been an asshole the whole season and I don't know what the right answer or right thing to do is but I'd love it if my son stood up to him. Is that right or wrong? You guys have stories?

Our last game is Monday. I may be more coherent in the morning but right now I'm super pissed.

I guess I'm asking have you ever told a coach off? I did. In eighth grade and i told my coach he was an asshole and I didn't want to play for him. That's not always wrong.


Yeah i did when I played basketball in High School. I didn't get much time though most people thought that was better than the guys that played in front of me. I even played one of them one on one one day after practice and beat the hell out of him twice as the whole team watched.


It was our last game of the season and we were getting blown out. He inserted me in during the third quarter and I played fairly well. He subbed me after about 4-5 minutes and i thought i should have finished given the fact that we were down thirty.

I got frustrated after being subbed and went to the bench a little dejected. After the game our coach gave an end of the season speech and afterwards he asked did anyone have anything else to say. I said yeah i did. Told him i was tired of being benched. He said that he had to "look at some people"..I asked who since there were only one to 2 people lower on the depth chart than I. I continued to go back and forth a little bit and after a few minutes he said that maybe "we needed to part company". I agreed with him and as a result my little career came to an end.

I knew that there was a chance for it to go that way but i didn't care. I could have smoothed it over and been added for the following season but i didn't. i simply used it as motivation in other areas of my life. Never looked back after that.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:08 am 
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Walt Williams Neck wrote:
Guess I was lucky learned something from each coach I had....baseball and basketball


You played during the era of T-Ball and Peach Basket however. That doesn't count.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:31 am 
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There is some value with a kid learning to deal with a coach who is a jerk but it is a shame how many coaches don't seem to understand how ineffective they are because of it.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:09 am 
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Many don't understand there's very little time for instruction(practice) and when kids come to practice and just want to pull their pud, it irritates coaches. Practices are just like classrooms. If a kid acts up or doesn't pay attention in a classroom, is the teacher a jerk and "reliving her glory days" by kicking a kid out of the classroom? Teachers get 5 days a week and hours of instruction. They can be patient. Coaches don't have that luxury. THAT is why they get curt, they don't have the time. They can't give kids' homework, they can't tell the kids' moms to work with Joey on his leadoffs because he's falling behind.

I've always told my own kids that practice is the coaches' time. You are the student, he is the teacher. Pay attention. Do the work. You do that, 99% of the time you won't have a problem with any coach, even the jerkoffs.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:12 am 
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Nardi wrote:
Many don't understand there's very little time for instruction(practice) and when kids come to practice and just want to pull their pud, it irritates coaches. Practices are just like classrooms. If a kid acts up or doesn't pay attention in a classroom, is the teacher a jerk and "reliving her glory days" by kicking a kid out of the classroom? Teachers get 5 days a week and hours of instruction. They can be patient. Coaches don't have that luxury. THAT is why they get curt, they don't have the time. They can't give kids' homework, they can't tell the kids' moms to work with Joey on his leadoffs because he's falling behind.

I run a pretty tight ship at practice and have very little tolerance for non-sense, but I manage to never yell or go off on a kid. Just calmly but firmly tell them to get with the program or sit out.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:17 am 
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Nardi wrote:
Many don't understand there's very little time for instruction(practice) and when kids come to practice and just want to pull their pud, it irritates coaches. Practices are just like classrooms. If a kid acts up or doesn't pay attention in a classroom, is the teacher a jerk and "reliving her glory days" by kicking a kid out of the classroom? Teachers get 5 days a week and hours of instruction. They can be patient. Coaches don't have that luxury. THAT is why they get curt, they don't have the time. They can't give kids' homework, they can't tell the kids' moms to work with Joey on his leadoffs because he's falling behind.

I've always told my own kids that practice is the coaches' time. You are the student, he is the teacher. Pay attention. Do the work. You do that, 99% of the time you won't have a problem with any coach, even the jerkoffs.

It's youth sports. Who cares if it only runs at 80% efficiency?

Treat the kids with respect.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:22 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
There is some value with a kid learning to deal with a coach who is a jerk but it is a shame how many coaches don't seem to understand how ineffective they are because of it.


Some guys seem to think that is what constitutes coaching. See it all the time. The maniacal behavior and the histrionics. Some of the coaches (though very good) have even been disciplined because of their sideline antics.

About 10 years ago or so there was a big deal over paddling and corporal punishment. One of my good friends got swept up in and eventually was terminated over it. Ruined his life.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:24 am 
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long time guy wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
There is some value with a kid learning to deal with a coach who is a jerk but it is a shame how many coaches don't seem to understand how ineffective they are because of it.


Some guys seem to think that is what constitutes coaching. See it all the time. The maniacal behavior and the histrionics. Some of the coaches (though very good) have even been disciplined because of their sideline antics.

About 10 years ago or so there was a big deal over paddling and corporal punishment. One of my good friends got swept up in and eventually was terminated over it. Ruined his life.
I think it was the Bobby Knight influence. I wonder if modern day coaches will want to be Steve Kerr and just kind of sit there and congratulate.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:30 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
long time guy wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
There is some value with a kid learning to deal with a coach who is a jerk but it is a shame how many coaches don't seem to understand how ineffective they are because of it.


Some guys seem to think that is what constitutes coaching. See it all the time. The maniacal behavior and the histrionics. Some of the coaches (though very good) have even been disciplined because of their sideline antics.

About 10 years ago or so there was a big deal over paddling and corporal punishment. One of my good friends got swept up in and eventually was terminated over it. Ruined his life.
I think it was the Bobby Knight influence. I wonder if modern day coaches will want to be Steve Kerr and just kind of sit there and congratulate.


Yeah I think the era of the hard nosed ball coach might be over. Even the guys that portray that image now are pretty tame compared to the guys of previous eras.

You can sort of blame (I guess) social media for that also. It's too easy to be recorded these days. Even practice. Guys don't want to take that chance.

It's gotten to a point where cursing at kids is considered a no no.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:31 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Nardi wrote:
Many don't understand there's very little time for instruction(practice) and when kids come to practice and just want to pull their pud, it irritates coaches. Practices are just like classrooms. If a kid acts up or doesn't pay attention in a classroom, is the teacher a jerk and "reliving her glory days" by kicking a kid out of the classroom? Teachers get 5 days a week and hours of instruction. They can be patient. Coaches don't have that luxury. THAT is why they get curt, they don't have the time. They can't give kids' homework, they can't tell the kids' moms to work with Joey on his leadoffs because he's falling behind.

I've always told my own kids that practice is the coaches' time. You are the student, he is the teacher. Pay attention. Do the work. You do that, 99% of the time you won't have a problem with any coach, even the jerkoffs.

It's youth sports. Who cares if it only runs at 80% efficiency?

Treat the kids with respect.

I didn't want to put my kids on travel teams because it's way to much time, money, and effort. But I had to because they wanted to be good and play with other kids who wanted to be good. They knew pulling their puds at practice and having embarrassing play in games wasn't fun. THEY knew, not me.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:37 am 
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Nardi wrote:
I didn't want to put my kids on travel teams because it's way to much time, money, and effort. But I had to because they wanted to be good and play with other kids who wanted to be good. They knew pulling their puds at practice and having embarrassing play in games wasn't fun. THEY knew, not me.
I understand putting your kids in travel because they want to improve but the point is that it is still youth sports and there is no reason to make life hell for the kids so your practice runs with as little downtime as possible. If it means that your kids lose in the semi-finals of a tournament in Youngstown, OH then hopefully one day the kids can overcome that crushing memory.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:46 am 
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It wasn't hell. They enjoyed the spirited competition. I didn't. It was a pain in the ass but it isn't about me.

I think we are arguing parameters. There's disciplined activity, there's let's have fun at all times, and there's military boot camp.

I think having fun at all times is worthless. I think military boot camp is counterproductive.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:49 am 
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Nardi wrote:
It wasn't hell. They enjoyed the spirited competition. I didn't. It was a pain in the ass but it isn't about me.

I think we are arguing parameters. There's disciplined activity, there's let's have fun at all times, and there's military boot camp.

I think having fun at all times is worthless. I think military boot camp is counterproductive.
I'm talking about coaches that are always yelling and acting like jerks and it makes the whole thing a joyless grind.

I get that expectations are higher for people who do traveling teams but it still should be a positive activity for a kid rather than the youth equivalent of a job you don't like going to.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:03 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Nardi wrote:
It wasn't hell. They enjoyed the spirited competition. I didn't. It was a pain in the ass but it isn't about me.

I think we are arguing parameters. There's disciplined activity, there's let's have fun at all times, and there's military boot camp.

I think having fun at all times is worthless. I think military boot camp is counterproductive.
I'm talking about coaches that are always yelling and acting like jerks and it makes the whole thing a joyless grind.

I get that expectations are higher for people who do traveling teams but it still should be a positive activity for a kid rather than the youth equivalent of a job you don't like going to.

That's all subjective. I felt it was equivalent of a job, kids didn't. You're take is your take and you are allowed to judge what's a worthwhile activity for your own kids.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:47 am 
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I can judge if it is worthwhile for other kids too. It's not like there is some special situation that makes a weekend spent in Hershey, PA playing a sport hoping for that college scholarship any different when it's another kid doing it.

It's not me bashing the parents either. I'm sure I'll do a lot of things that are mostly wastes of time and money too.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:56 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I can judge if it is worthwhile for other kids too. It's not like there is some special situation that makes a weekend spent in Hershey, PA playing a sport hoping for that college scholarship any different when it's another kid doing it.

LMAO

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:58 am 
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Some waste money on travel sports others on a Purdue education. It is all relative

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:01 am 
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RFDC wrote:
Some waste money on travel sports others on a Purdue education. It is all relative

:lol: There is certainly truth to that.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:30 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I can judge if it is worthwhile for other kids too. It's not like there is some special situation that makes a weekend spent in Hershey, PA playing a sport hoping for that college scholarship any different when it's another kid doing it.

It's not me bashing the parents either. I'm sure I'll do a lot of things that are mostly wastes of time and money too.


What is worthwhile is what the kid and not the adult, garners from it. If the kid believes that he is getting something out of it then that is all that really matters. Some kids want to play competitive sports and there is nothing wrong with that if that is what they are into. What I find to be much worse is when the adult pushes their kids to play competitive sports and the kid has no interest.

That is what's detrimental. I have friends that berate their kids in public worse than any coach ever could. They actively go out of their way to humiliate their kid it seems. They think that it makes them tougher and more competitive. I don't see it but maybe I am missing something.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:02 pm 
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I've been out of the state once. There are plenty of travel leagues within the Chicagoland area. What people in this thread have done is pontificate to the extreme. I don't know anybody going to Hershey, PA, causing havoc with their kids while looking for a college scholarship. But if you have seen that consistently, then i respect that POV. But that wasn't my reality.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:16 pm 
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Nardi wrote:
I've been out of the state once. There are plenty of travel leagues within the Chicagoland area. What people in this thread have done is pontificate to the extreme. I don't know anybody going to Hershey, PA, causing havoc with their kids while looking for a college scholarship. But if you have seen that consistently, then i respect that POV. But that wasn't my reality.
I'm not really talking about the local youth sports all star teams that play other local teams. There is a huge industry based on around teams traveling all over the place and playing all weekend in random towns like that.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:21 pm 
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We’ve always had good coaches. I am actually surprised how they keep their cool in situations where officials make a terrible call or a kid dogs it on a play.

I’ve never coached because I would not be able to control my competitiveness. It took me years just to be a decent parent at games. And to this day, I still mumble under my breath when a high school kid can’t throw to first or travels for the third time in a game.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:42 pm 
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denisdman wrote:
We’ve always had good coaches. I am actually surprised how they keep their cool in situations where officials make a terrible call or a kid dogs it on a play.

I’ve never coached because I would not be able to control my competitiveness. It took me years just to be a decent parent at games. And to this day, I still mumble under my breath when a high school kid can’t throw to first or travels for the third time in a game.

Last year, semi-final game of our playoffs. Tie game. My daughter pitching, looking for the 3rd out to complete 3 scoreless innings. Runner on 2nd. Grounder to 3b. 3B hesitates, then throws it 15 feet over 1b head. Runner on 2nd scores.

We tied it in the next inning but lost in extras.

It was hard to not go nuts in that situation. But it's also on me, Im the one who put the 3b at third.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:45 pm 
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Attending the same small public school K-12 never had to deal with tryouts or not making the team. In football, most everybody played both sides/special teams until 9th grade, when we got an influx of students from other smaller schools.

Working on an SAP implementation at a purveyor of HFCS beverages and salty snacks with a HQ in the w loop a few years back I'm stationed next to our dept head/the VP of a couple of floors worth of ee's and lowly contractors like me. One day we come back from lunch and VP dude gets on the phone. He's maybe 6 feet from me, against the window, where they put the important people. He proceeds to spend the next had to be 90 minutes to 2 hours alternatively trying to bully, beg, cajole, guilt ("my son needs this right now"), bribe the coach of his son's baseball team into putting his son on the travel team ("bring your wife into the city and we'll meet up at Gibson's for dinner on me" he even proffered covering a room at the hotel over the SunTimes for them, Holiday Inn?) . Anyhow, as far as I could pick up, da coach on the other end kept saying the same thing in different ways, "your son's not even good enough to get playing time on the non-travel team, no way I can put him on the travel team. wouldn't be fair to the other kids/parents." Ended up feeling sorry for the VP dude by the end.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:54 pm 
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Kid’s sports politics is something to behold. There was a window there where no matter where you went social or otherwise you couldn’t escape it. Someone always bitching about something. I always felt it was wrong the way smaller suburban schools set up their triumviate of parents/coaches/booster structure all socializing partying etc together.

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