u meant well.

u tried to do the right thing.

But u fucked up and it ended up turning a girl off.

Tell us ur story here.

Did she end up breaking up with u? Like, one strike and ur out?

Did she forgive u? Was she understanding and she gave u another chance?

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Drunk Bud Dude?

I told her I like my eggs Danny Thomas style and she left right away.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

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George: I mentioned how I liked horse manure.

Jerry: You did?

George: Yeah.

Jerry: Yeah. You said you liked horse manure.

George: Yeah. You know, about how when you break it down, it's really a very positive thing. you know, you have a “nure,” with a “ma” in front of it. MA-NURE. It's not bad.

Jerry: And it was around this point that she mentioned the boyfriend?

George: Yeah. (Jerry nodding) ... Oh, you think because of what I said about the manure. I wa, wa, was just saying how it takes a negative thing, and puts it on a positive spin on it.

Jerry: I’m just saying there's a chance she may not have been enamored with your thoughts and feelings on manure.

George: So you don't think she really has a boyfriend?

Jerry: My honest opinion, I think she made it up.

George: Well then she's just a Liar, Isn't she?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Told a girl I sometimes post on the Chicago Fanatics forum.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

She told me her name was peg. I told her we were meant to be as that was an interest of mine

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

This ain't me but I witnessed it live. Many moons ago (late late 90s / early early 2000s) there was a night where I was hanging out with a few friends, one if which was the ex/ish-gf of a friend who wasn't there that night. We scoop her up and she's drunk/ish when we get her and she tells us "guys, I really wanna fuck jeff tonight" and we're just kind of like "oh shit" cuz this dude Jeff was recovering from a near-fatal car accident circa 1998-99 (involving like ~6+ months of learn to walk and talk again rehab in Carbondale) and the guy is still what I'd call a little raw around the edges. My other friend turns to me like "this is gonna be a thing"

That other friend worked at holiday inn at the time, so he was able to get hotel rooms at other holiday inns for dirt cheap so for sonething like $15 we got a room to drink/smoke/chill in on the far end of the mecca and that was where the proceeding happened. Eventually ol girl made her move on Jeff, which involved her eventually pulling up her shirt and showing off her little beestings with rock hard nipples like "so hey Jeff what do you think of my body?"

Jeff had a self-proclaimed nickname of "the dude" ("cuz I'll call my grandma dude, dude") but he earned a new nickname from me, "Butter: the unequivocally smooth wonder condiment" for his response -- "dude, if you had some bigger tits you'd be hot" --- totally honest and 100% factually correct, but so not the thing to say in the heat of the moment there.

The other friend tried hiding under the covers of the other bed to play the "I won't watch you degrade yourself like this" card, which failed miserably. And butter aka the dude? Well he immediately retconned it to be some kind of show of respect to the other friend who was kinda freshly ol girl's ex, but as time inexorably marched on he'd occasionally tell me "dude I shoulda fucked her" to which I was like "no shit Sherlock" and quoteth Hemingway

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