This is how you mult!

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Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

Who's the guy who can make me side with Matt Yglesias? Pat! Damn right.

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I’m petitioning Trump to stop with the border wall nonsense and asking him to put it around Rock Island instead

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Is he fucking 15 years old?

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

I have not seen Green Book, but apparently it's evil because it shows white people as helpful in some instances. So:

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Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

I haven't seen Green Book (or any other nominated film this year), but from what I know of it, it seems like the kind of movie an Academy voter could pick and feel good about him or herself for making a social statement. As a movie, I get the feeling that it was sort of like The Help, not really a film that deserves such accolades but one that is a commentary on the civil rights struggle.

I can understand Spike Lee being annoyed. Best line of the night: "Every time someone is driving someone, I get fucked."

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

This pudgy Caller Bob is way worse than Julie.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

At least Julie is a woman. Pat is neither black nor a woman.

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To steal good dolphin's phrase, this guy has got to be some sort of Republican plant. I was just reading his Twitter feed, and almost everything he says is easily refutable (or cringeworthy). He's almost totally incapable of nuance or independent thought, and he lacks consciousness to a degree that must be comforting and restful. I'm really in shock; usually the people you dislike are never as bad as you make them out to be.

welcome to working with the majority of DCFS in Illinois. There are some great ones don't get me wrong.

I go through an inordinate amount of my day wondering who is engaged in performance art at any given time. I am rooting for art, in most cases.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Hey hey do that brand-new tweet!

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What are your conclusions?

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Who gives a shit. The universe is exactly as absurd as it is supposed to be at any given time.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Kierkegaard?

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Vacuum cleaner.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Explaining this to to someone from 1992...

You have to admit Trump has set the world on its ear. Good or bad who knows? Status quo? No way.

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Elections have consequences.

They let a Cohen in a church?

Baseball season is almost here. HawaiiYou should be back soon to give his take.

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I stood up in a wedding at St. James Church in Arlington Heights with two Jewish guys. One of them was very nervous about what to do when Communion came around. He kept asking me if he had to "eat that cookie". I told him no, that he could just stay there with me as I was not in a state of grace myself. The other Jewish guy went up and took Communion.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I stop taking Communion many moons ago. It was always awkward staying in the pew while everyone else went up. One of the small benefits of raising our children Lutheran is that Communion was every other week.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Plus, fiscally prudent. Who want's to lay out that host dough on a largely symbolic practice weekly?

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

My sister married a suburban guy from some wacko Christian sect (he was a Lutheran or Methodist or some shit) and at the church, and the groom's two shaggy haired Protestant brothers could not figure out how to kneel. They were squatting, sitting, kind of leaning--everything but kneeling. As a nine year-old who never had to imagine how hard it would be for non-Catholics to adjust to the odd rituals of Mass, it was really strange to see this. Finally, on his way back from communion, my dad, who was not religious but didn't cotton to hippie weirdoes acting like hippie weirdoes, went up and whispered something to them, and the brothers promptly kneeled. Supposedly, my dad said, "If you two snake-charming drug addicts don't stand on your knees, I'm gonna crucify both you hippies." I think he simply explained to them what to do, but his story made everyone laugh, and God musta approved, since he didn't send any lightning bolts down or anything. (I didn't hear about his supposed threat for several years afterwards.)

I was dating a Mexican girl and we were at a wedding for one of her friends. I might have been the only white guy there. I almost certainly was the only non-Catholic. When I didn't go up to get communion I thought she was going to kill me on the spot.

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My mom grew up catholic but was excommunicated when she married my dad who was episcopal or Taoist or whatever Scottish Protestants are. Who know, we never went to church but the cousins wedding and the few family funerals we have gone to have always been a mystery to me. Mom isn’t much help as she datesback to when services were done in Latin. I always stay seated for communion but try my best to do the other rituals as best I can.

I stopped there. Thumbs up, bro.

Way too many rituals. They recently changed some and since I go to Mass once a year, it's disconcerting.

Presbyterian, usually. I think the Presbyterians in the South are a little more fire-and-brimstone, all that Appalachian Scots-Irish, while the northerners are just basic boring liberal prots.

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