Darkside wrote:
Have you ever boned a girl you've been hoping to screw for 19 years but you're drunk and after an hour and she starts asking you to cum and you can't because you're so damn drunk so you fake it? And you end up feeling as empty as one of those bullshit hollow milk chocolate bunnies your cheap ass grandmother buys you on Easter because she'd rather spend her discretionary income on cheap vodka and those shitty canfield sodas that simply masquerades as a real soda like Pepsi or Coke than giving her grandchildren a real treat in their Easter basket?
Welcome to the feeling you get from watching Glass. It's got Samuel L. Jackson, but not a single screamed at the top of his voice "motherfucker". Its got Bruce Willis but not one damn dead terrorist.
The true performer in this waste of two hours is James McAvoy, who killed it yet again in another M. Night Shyamalan wet fart of a film that were it filmed in 1944 would be used by the Nazis to torture inmates at any number of concentration camps.
Saying that Jackson mailed his performance in is an insult to every mail carrier that ever lived because even the pony Express could not be heroic enough to deliver this performance.
Bruce Willis's grey beard was by far the most convincing set piece that appeared in this film.
Watching this two hour flick made me wish I was a detainee at Guantanamo Bay, however fake drowning via waterboarding would be a disappointment because the sweet denial of oxygen as water enters my lungs for an excruciating death would be preferred to having to wait through this shit storm of unrealized potential.
The finale was about as much fun as holding a firework too long in your hand on the 4th of July and blowing off three fingers and a thumb. At first I found myself praying there was a post credits coda but halfway through the credits I realized that a mid 40s unanesthetized circumcision would be considerably more delightful.
Do yourself a favor should you find yourself wanting to watch this movie. Take a set of sewing needles, stick them into your eyes and send me a thank you email the next day.
what about the vvitch with the weird eyes but tight, young bod? She get nude in this?
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