Hello, friend.

_________________
'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

these 2 new Verizon music themed ads...one where the guy who's totally not gay (since he mentions his wife) who's freaking out bc he was 2 feet away from Justin Timberlake and they locked eyes or something

then the other with this chick Blanche- except it's pronounced pretentiously (Blahhhhhh nche )
she's from the techno era but she's really hip hop
i have no idea what that means

_________________
Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

I still want to find and kill those two idiots from the Sonic ones.
Although I might give the driver a head start.

_________________
When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

Seen it, covered it.

_________________

The damn Gatorade commercial with the middle aged Gabrielle Union is competing against that bastard Dwayne Wade. He actually makes her mildly unlikable.

_________________
There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

A few recent random thoughts:

1. I heard a recent spot that ended with "brought to you by International Champions Cup" (some soccer thing), and my brain immediately recalled that long-time WSCR sponsor, International Profit Associates.

2. These Weedman USA commercials are just dumb. Do they really think reading a few customer testimonials is going to persuade anyone? Maybe they should use their name for a marijuana dealer instead of lawn care.

3. Magic Johnson's business acumen is going to drive people to Oracle's cloud software?

_________________

EVERY morning there is a cheesy health insurance commercial during AgDay, featuring Broadway Joe Namath himself, where he clumsily reads copy that tries to make it sound that he's in the same boat as you and me, needing insurance that covers rides to the doctor's office. His NFL pension alone is worth $40K plus..." I wasn't getting the benefits I deserve!!!"

Never mind, here it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyuX7-3xZzY

_________________
Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

They are running so many Low-T commercials these days, they are having trouble spacing them out. This morning I heard Russ Mitera do his multi-voice ad for NuMale (these pills will make you strong like bull!), and then immediately afterward he read a spot for NuGenix.

_________________

As if the Blue Chew commercials with Jurko and Parkins were not skeevy enough to make people want to do anything BUT have sex, now Kaplan is doing one. Shockingly, because he apparently doesn't know any other way to talk, he uses a very cheesy voice and it gets gross pretty quickly as he talks about he and Mindy going home to "make magic."

Why don't they just hire professionals to do these commercials? People who don't make your stomach turn at the though of them engaging in sexual activity would be good.

Not as bad as these, but still bad, are Silvy's commercials for a grooming device. Hearing "It's Silvy, Mr. Manscape!" in that awful voice makes me want to immediately change the station, not trim my yam bag.

I'd love to know how much money Danny Parkins is accepting to say he already can't get his dick hard at age 32.

_________________

There is a commercial for For Hims in which a woman uses 5 different euphemisms for premature ejaculation before getting to the point of the commercial.

OK, WE GET IT! WE KNEW WHAT YOU MEANT AFTER THE FIRST ONE!

And why is the company called "For Hims?" Was the name "For Him" already taken by another company?

Audi’s new slogan is pretty lame: “Progress is confidence in chaos.”

_________________

I tried to find just the ad, without the reaction commentary, but I think Gillette has outdone itself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8CN1foaYm0

_________________
Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

In both of the versions of the new Comcast ad, one where the potential customer comes in to the store in fear of being recorded and also where she starts telling the sales dude to do stuff like "Eat Spaghetti", somehow the sales associates call her by name, "Amy", before being introduced. Every half inning.

It shounds like pillow shpokespershon Mike Lindell went to the Sheattle Shutton school of shpeech and shpecial shponsorship, probably located in Shpokane, WA. Go back to crack.

My goodness.

_________________

People love the next Gillette commercial:



https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/ ... story.html

_________________
Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

I moused over the link assuming the author was Heidi Stevens.

Isn't that Amy Poehler?

_________________

Not sure. This is on the radio, so I cannot tell. I am pretty sure she's not the one being afraid of being recorded by the "microphones and cameras that are everywhere." I guess it could be her. She obviously isn't selling anything to me, I can't even remember the company these ads are for.

Yeah, silvy faggy lispy voice, " Ever have a manscape accident???"

Uhh no homo, it's not hard to shave my balls or trim some pubes, been doing it with a razor n scissors since I was in high school.

_________________

these pharma ads are getting bold enough now to use copyrighted song material to help promote their poison. ozempic uses "magic" by pilot. anoro uses "go your own way" by fleetwood mac.

i love how they still have to put in the "side effects may include a horrible death" disclaimers all the while still trying to pump you with confidence that it'll cure you.

they all give me a moderate to severe headache.

there's probably a drug out there that can help me if i don't mind suicidal thoughts and nausea.

This fucking guy! He is so bad they had to pair him with a talking Robot.

If Theo was in advertising, he would work for Sprint. Horrible signing from Verizon's scrap heap.

hey thanks for posting this guys mug.... it led me to sprints twitter and I see they are offering free $2 amazon gift cards to current customers.... what an amazing perk!

$2.00 will get you a ticket to the White Sox.

$50 more will get you quite a show.

Quite.

_________________

I heard a commercial on WSCR today for a company that sells liners to straighten your teeth. The woman doing the commercial said the name of the company several times but I couldn't understand what she said. It sounded like "Catchaco" or something like that. Anyway, I could have sworn she said competitors (I assume she means Invisalign) use "dental professionals...whatever that means."

I think it means people have received appropriate training, are affiilated with a orthodontist's office, and will probably not fuck up your teeth they way some sketchy, half-assed product will.