Every once in a great while, a movie comes along, and it has an uplifting message, joy in its delivery, and when you watch it, it is clear that the cast and crew had a ball creating it, and there is love and devotion in every frame of the film, and actors and directors alike poured their heart and soul into it, and it can change your life.

Then there's movies like Chaos Theory. This movie seems to have been written by a complete sociopath, intent on passing every ounce of his misanthropy onto an unsuspecting, innocent audience. I'm nearly positive that the producers, writers, and director were on a Marshall Applewhite-like crusade to create a suicidal fervor amongst every unfortunate soul to witness the grim terror of an unfortunate Canadian's rapid descent into madness and mundanity.

It started innocently enough. Ryan Reynolds was his usual pre Deadpool quirky self and the Olive Oyl looking Emily Mortimer had a few empty headed chuckles along the way to an evil wife engineered late appearance at work. And than the whole thing falls off the rails. But the audience stays on the rails as a freight train of shitfilm speeds towards them at mach 1, and the worst part of it all is that we still found ourselves converting oxygen into carbon dioxide at the end.

You know what's more entertaining and less painful than the 87 minutes of nitwittery of Chaos Theory? Sticking your face into a five gallon bucket of muriatic acid and holding it there for 87 minutes.

Save yourselves the agony of watching Reynolds shit his sheets for over an hour and spend your time doing something considerably more constructive, like rearranging your underwear drawer or sticking your dick into an outboard motor propeller.

You'll thank me later.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

So, the beginning isn't bad?