When I put on my winter coat for the first time this year I found $50 in a pocket.

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Yes.

In college there was a girl I desperately wanted to date. There was nothing I said or did that so much as elicited a smile from her. And back then I was very humble and sti pretty quiet around women.

Two weeks after I stopped, she was banging a dorm mate who walked around as the living embodiment of Pig Pen. From that point forward I never underestimated the generosity of women.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Before I moved in early October I was walking my dog and found two hundred dollar bills in an envelope. I was torn what to do with it. I eventually kept it but considered knocking on doors near where I found it. My final conclusion was no one would turn down $200 and besides if you can’t hold onto your money you don’t deserve it anyway

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

I have not seen a $10 bill in I don't know how long.

Yeah, you can't really start running around with $200 in cash asking if anyone lost it.

But my dad was such an honest guy he wouldn't even pick it up. I went to pick up a five or ten dollar bill once when I was a kid and my old man told me to leave it there. I was incredulous. He said something like, "That bill could belong to anyone. The only two people in the world we know it doesn't belong to are you and me." I just thought that was fuckin' idiotic. My dad was a better man than I. I take after my mom. If she noticed a guy looking for it she would have put her foot over it with a quickness.

Anyway, sometimes I run into a dilemma with the pennies. If I'm riding a really strong Strava segment and I see a coin on the ground I usually won't stop to grab it, but I feel like it's bad luck. Once on the Lincoln Street bridge across the canal I was riding a possible personal best seg and I spotted a penny. I finished the seg and spun back around heading west to pick it up but I couldn't find it. I felt like that was really bad luck. Didn't get the personal best either.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Pigpen probably had a "Showcase Dick".

There's always one in any crew, a guy who's dick is so legendarily big that word gets out and women are always asking to see it, and the steward of such megaloin seems to become numb to just showing it off at every instance.

I always made sure to never sleep with a girl after one of those guys destroyed her, as it would have been pointless.

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We Now Know That JOE BIDEN has been COMPROMISED by CHINA! (let that sink in)

Election 2020-The Largest Fraud in the History of Mankind.

*If you believe that Biden won, you also believe that Epstein killed himself*

Lol..good stuff. I'll pick up quarters, nothing less. I love 50$ I always walk around with 3-4 hundo on me and half of that 50's. My best find was a wad of singles n fives wrapped in a rubber band in the water.. I was fishing a creek took it home n laid it out, 165 $

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