Another fun one I enjoy is mainly with my son. He does something or another and I counsel him. I say something along the lines of there isn’t anything you can do, try or lie about that I haven’t already done. So if you think you’re actually getting one over on me I’ll just let you have that laugh.

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Elections have consequences.

Biitch biitch biitch, ever since the dog ate the baby it's been Sell the dog Sell the dog.

Effort is for people that suck at things. If you have to try hard, you should do something else.

This reminds me of a true story. When my parents were divorcing, my dad moved in with my grandparents. In the divorce my dad was awarded the marital residence. My dad never drove and it was easier for him to get to work from my grandparents' house (plus my grandma did his laundry and cooked his dinner). He would only go to his house on Saturday after he got off work and stay until Sunday evening and my sister and I would spend the weekends there with him when we were younger. Once I was a teenager, especially after I bought a car, I didn't always go every weekend.

When I was 16 I wanted to spend the night there with my girlfriend but I didn't have a key. I lied to my dad and told him I left something at the house that I needed and asked for an extra key. He didn't act suspicious and gave me the key. That Friday I got some older guy to buy me beer, I picked up my girlfriend who told some lie to her parents and we went to spend the night at my dad's empty house. I parked my car two blocks away so no one would see it out front.

The next morning my girlfriend woke me up and said, I think someone is in the house. I panicked. I thought it may have been my grandfather which would have been a disaster. I got dressed really quickly and walked out to the living room. There was my dad and his buddy both laughing their asses off. I remember my old man kept saying, "Caught in the web. Caught in the web."

I said, "Okay, can you guys please just get out of here now?" My dad was actually more angry about us drinking beer. He said, "I hope at least it wasn't my beer." As they walked out he said, "Make sure you lock the doors when you leave. And don't use my house as a motel anymore. Go to one of those places on Lincoln Avenue. If you're old enough to do it, you're old enough to pay for a room."

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

This is me. I may change a word or 2 but I say a lot of the same stuff that used to annoy me or I used to simply laugh at.

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

Great story but you should have immediately ran to Ace Hardware after that key was put in your hand.

All of the above are good.
Add in...
"Drivers and Passengers....if you live like a passenger, you're going to end up being a miserable person. "

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Every single thing you want in life, 10 other people want the same thing and at least a couple of those people are literally willing to slit the other 8 throats to get it but those 2 are the ones you have to worry about the least. That is how hard you have to work.

When you think you have finished your homework, realize that there is some kid your age in China whose only chance of getting out of state mandated poverty is to achieve perfection in school. Do you think he finished his homework for the night?

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Good Dolphin coming from the oldest of old schools.

I’m not sure doing extra homework is the key to life’s fulfillment.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

He should reply "Perfection isn't required at Fenwick.

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fulfillment is tied to having control of your options and ownership of the decisions you made

Also, there is no greater fulfillment than to have known that you have given the best effort you can give.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

So who exactly wants all this homework done?

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

The ol' "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

That's sick. I like it.

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An Ode to the Texas man who shot an Antifa terrorist:

Oh, he might have went on livin'
But he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the big iron on his hip

To my boys:

If you are ever mad enough to hit someone don't tell them. Just hit them right in the nose.

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An Ode to the Texas man who shot an Antifa terrorist:

Oh, he might have went on livin'
But he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the big iron on his hip

In other words, do as you say and not as you do huh Hawker?

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Your mother brought you into this world but I can take you out of it.

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An Ode to the Texas man who shot an Antifa terrorist:

Oh, he might have went on livin'
But he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the big iron on his hip

Why don't you fly out here and say this shit to my face, wuss?

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Why don't you fly out here and say this shit to my face, wuss?

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When I was a kid, maybe 9 or 10, a kid was insulting my mom and I told him that if he didn't stop it that I was going to hit him. Instead, he hit me and beat me up. So, I went home and told my mom what happened and she was sad. My dad got home and he gave me that life lesson. He also took me to Sears and bought me some boxing gloves and taught me how to fight. My mom and dad were very different when it came to fighting. I pretty much did the same as my dad did with my kids.

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An Ode to the Texas man who shot an Antifa terrorist:

Oh, he might have went on livin'
But he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the big iron on his hip

My wife and I had this bit of advice for our three kids. Something to the effect that they all were going to get in trouble in their life and may make serious mistakes. What we said was that no matter what they did, when we asked them what happened that no matter what it was to be honest with us no matter what embarrassment or trouble that they were in. Just don't lie to us because if we take what they say as being the truth and it isn't then everything will be much worse for all of us.

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An Ode to the Texas man who shot an Antifa terrorist:

Oh, he might have went on livin'
But he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the big iron on his hip

So you’re a pussy and got your ass kicked ?

Eveyone is miserable, you just have to be slightly less miserable than everyone. The peace the grave will comfort us all.

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Another thing my dad told me...
"Keep your booger hook off the bang switch"

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Serving others always.

Life fulfilled.

BOOM

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Don't be like your ______!

_________________
Be well

GO BEARS!!!

A similar one: "half the people don't care about your problems, and the other half are glad you've got them."

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I don't think the messages are similar but I agree with each sentiment.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.