It's family that says they love you and just wants to spend time together but seems as if they are actively trying to drive you crazy.

We have a birthday! We should go out and celebrate. Which means hey son why don't you pay for a fancy dinner? Yeah because you spend all that money and food on the other son because he's a frigging tool and he does shit for you and has shit for brains we are expected to shoulder every goddamn burden and pay for things like we have some sort of money tree in our backyard. And you know how we got that tree? Luck. Good Luck. Great Luck. The Best Luck. No work. No sacrifice. No solid decision making. No strategic plans of any sort. No because it's kind of the right thing to do even if it's difficult.

And this isn't mentioned once casually. NOOOOOOO we have to have to beat the horse well after expiration. Birthday. Dinner. Birthday. Special. Birthday. Fun. Sitting at the table with those shitheads for 2 hours and paying about $500 a time for it is like...well the worst experience ever. I think it's what having your balls ripped out thru your nose would feel like but I can't speak from experience. I'd almost prefer them demand we take them out to dinner 4 times a year and host 2 holidays, at least I could respect the honesty.

FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK THAT! If I ever am in a position to take a husband again, damn sure he's going to be an orphan.

My family tries to stick me with the bill (successfully) every goddamn time. Oh I didnt bring cash! I forgot my credit card!

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Orphans have their own issues.

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Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

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Was the brother there?

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No, we almost never see him. I see him maybe twice a year and my husband might see him once or twice more if he shows up at one of our kids' things.

In laws are a huge pain in the ass. My fathernlaw, sisternlaws, and brothernlaw are absolute idiots. Only saving grace is my mothernlaw is a sweetheart.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Get a job?

Next time, speak to the server privately. Slip them $10 or $20 bucks to hand the check to your father in law.

If your husband ends up paying, then sorry, it's on him. not the in laws.

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They do hand it to him. He puts it on the table or in the direction of my husband, then it gets awkward. They don't like paying for us because there are 4 of us and they think "we have money".

Leave it on the table. You can do it.

Or if you are really feeling bold, then tell them "It's your turn." or "Here, I have a present for you!"

Seriously, what's the worst that can happen to you?

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My family thinks we do too. I get stuck with more Bills than female guest stars on the cosby show.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I’m lucky in that my mother in law and father in law would probably have me murdered if I tried to pay a bill for a family dinner and my parents.. well I gave up on trying to pay for those bills years ago. Have from time to time felt like my wife carries the freight fir her siblings when it comes to certain things but that s what it is and is only one event a year

I have the opposite problem. My fathernlaw has some money and will not let us pay for anything and then holds it over our head. Gets really old. But I let things be because of my mothernlaw.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

One of my in-laws almost killed me with a chainsaw.

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I think we have a winner.

My in laws only try to borrow money.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I didnt knlw this would be an inlaw dick measuring contest. We haven't seen my FIL in 6 years, and my MIL has been in rehab 4 times now I think.

Seacrest has some good ideas, or just flat out say "We're not going."

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so what is the problem?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

We might have a new winner
That kind of sucks. I'd rather have my in laws trying to skeeze cash than not be a part of out lives.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

My in laws are great...this time

My 1st wife’s parents were insane.

I feel bad for my wife. Her father in law...he’s a fucking jackass.

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My wife is by far the youngest in her family and most of them still treat her like the baby so we often aren't expected to pay. I'm fine with that.

However, I've never seen my brother-in-law the priest go in his pocket, which makes him the same as every other priest I have ever known.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I also feel bad for my wife. Her husband is a fucking jackass.

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That's why I feel bad for both our wives.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Free meals are part of their job description.

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Who is extending the invitation, or bringing it up? That party should pay.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

That's because he's got his hand in someone else's pocket...

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next time you have to say no to a resturant if they arent going to pay. birthday events can be had at someone's house too. it's not impossible.

My MIL is great, aways has a list of small jobs for me to do when we visit. With her in Milwaukee (Algonquin for "the good land") and us over here, the Lake provides a nice buffer for my wife. The two week stay at our house over Christmas was getting a little stale, but that long a visit is tough to pull off.

My Mom is tougher for my wife, but she's still very accommodating and only slightly prickly. Hard to tell an 80 year-old to change a few annoying habits.

My sister and her brother are great, they are rigid in keeping their routines when we visit and kinda expecting ours to bend when they are here, but both are infrequent.

Now her sister is a hot mess on the RodeoVann level. Academically challenged, socially inept, over emotional, crazy ex-husband, three whacked boys, sub-poverty line subsistence. Just a good thing she never found meth, and we only see her once every 2-3 years.

I gave her a car about ten years ago, when her oldest started driving. It wasn't anything special (97 LeSabre) but basic transportation. She complained it didn't have remote start and it's cold in MN. For free he can walk out and start it and come back inside. Fuck you.

No chainsaw attacks, yet, but her ex did fire a shotgun at my FIL back during the divorce...

Yeah they can be difficult. It’s taken me 5 years but now I am getting better at rolling with the punches. This year hosting Xmas was a new one. My brother in law actually picked up the big dinner bill we were expecting to have to handle. I appreciated it since we bought food for 12 for a week at home. My in laws almost never pay for anything. When my mom comes we usually fight over the bill. Just opposite sides of the spectrum. Thankfully my in laws are kind people in general. I don’t expect a lot of vitriol from a woman that grew up Amish and a man that grew up Mennonite, they are just cheap.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Going off of what Seacrest suggested, you can talk to your server privately and also tell him/her that you and your husband (and kids) will need your own bill. Or announce that there will be separate tabs beforehand. Who cares if its sophomoric. I would rather be labeled as immature than continue to pony up 500 clams to eat with people I don't even like. Thats a decent amount of bread. It's not like you are covering their '2 for $20' at Friday's or something.

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