I knew a guy who was a great guy sober.
But a real prick drunk.
He got punched by his boss at the company Christmas party.
He sustained a detached retina from the punch.
And the boss was going with his mother.
He kept his job.

_________________

I knew a guy who was a great guy
sober. But a real prick

drunk. He got punched
by his boss

at the company Christmas party. He sustained
a detached retina

from the punch. And the boss was going
with his mother. He kept his job.


This is a fun one. Where's the original?

_________________

They had the pet store with a mean monkey named tiki.
That thing was a song of a patriot.
We went there for the arcade and buffet.

_________________
I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

_________________

I've explained my position clearly and I do not lie.
I don't care that you are black.
So what?

You are the one that stupidly asked me
if I wanted to be black
and have insulted me a lot on this board.
So what?

I never called you a racist
before you said that you were black
and said that you voted for Obama
and would have voted for Alan Keyes
because they were black.

TO me that does make you at least bigoted.
TO, that also is very sad.
To vote for anyone because of their skin color
is not just Bigoted,
it is also STUPID.

_________________

_________________
I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

It's family that says they love you
and just wants
to spend time together but seems

as if they are actively trying
to drive you
crazy. We have a birthday! We should go

out and celebrate. Which means
hey son why don't you pay
for a fancy dinner? Yeah because you

spend all that money and food
on the other son because he's a frigging tool
and he does shit for you

and has shit for brains
we are expected to shoulder
every goddamn burden

and pay for things like we have
some sort of money
tree in our backyard. And you know

how we got that tree? Luck
Good Luck. Great Luck. The Best Luck.
No work. No sacrifice. No solid

decision making. No strategic
plans of any sort. No because
it's kind of the right thing to do

even if it's difficult. And this isn't
mentioned once casually. NOOOOOOO we have to
have to beat the horse

well after expiration. Birthday
Dinner. Birthday. Special. Birthday.
Fun. Sitting at the table

with those shitheads for 2 hours and paying
about $500 a time for it is like...well
the worst experience

ever. I think it's what having
your balls ripped out
thru your nose

would feel like but I can't speak
from experience. I'd almost prefer them
demand we take them

out to dinner 4 times a year
and host 2 holidays at least
I could respect the honesty.

FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK THAT! If I ever am
in a position to take
a husband again

damn sure he's going
to be an orphan.

_________________

I also saw the new footloose with a girl.
She thought it was the original not knowing
they had made a remake.
Once again we were the only people in the theater.
So we fucked.
That woman became my second wife.

_________________

Leave your phone and all smart electronics behind
Take a scenic route that doesn't have any cameras
Dig a hole in the forest at least 46" deep
A good shovel and post digger should be able to handle the roots

Buy a cheap car with cash from a dumb kid
Line your trunk with quality construction bags and tape
Leave all electronics at home again
Wrap your step dad up one night and hide him from the cops in the forest.

Be sure to make the site look as close to the rest of the forest floor!
Torch the car within 12 hours!

_________________

Democracy Dies in Darkness
My Post
Account Settings
Newsletters & alerts
Gift subscriptions
Contact us
Help desk
drakejohn87
Basic Digital
Sign out
My Post
My Reading List
Account Settings
Newsletters & alerts
Gift subscriptions
Contact us
Help desk
Politics

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

_________________
I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Well done, Sam.

Yes. Solid

_________________