What is the mindset of a person who chooses to sit as close to another dude on the crapper as he can? If no one else is in there, you have to anticipate someone will be coming along during your visit.

The middle stall is for emergencies only

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Let's add, guys that pick the middle urinal as well. Like, pick a fucking end. Or guys that come out of the shitter, when you are washing your hands, to have some awkward encounter. Wait until I a done washing my hands, motherfucker!

The only time this is acceptable is if one of the end stalls is out of toilet paper, or absolutely filthy.

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Was thinking this just this morning. We share the floor with a major accounting firm that has a effort to hire autistic people. Great program, but they do some weird shit (pun intended) in the bathroom.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

How do you know it was empty when chosen? Also, as Frank said, sometimes there’s a hygienic reason.

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance

I'm sorry you pee sitting down.

Another lost opportunity for ol' "Wide Stance" Bob?

All of this pales in comparison to people who loudly converse on their cell phones while sitting in stalls or standing at urinals.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

That’s when you start repeatedly flushing.

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance

If the bowls are painted or there is a floater on the ends, the middle becomes the de facto end stall because no one is sitting in those.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

If we switch the conversation to urinals, this truly is the Golden Urinal post. It's about meeting Tony O.

while simultaneously farting and groaning in ecstasy.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Or the guy who enters the troughs at Wrigley and announces, "is this where all the dicks hang out?"

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Hanging out with QCP?

maintaining a minimum one stall empty space is critical. no sane person would volunteer to sit middle stall so there had to be a reason

One of the highlights of one of my relatives' baseball watching career was pissing in the urinal next to Willie Stargell at a World Series game. Willie appears to have been better behaved than Tony O.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Sounds like something this guy would say

Always choose the cleanest crapper possible. Position is irrelevant

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I try for the handicap stall, especially at the airport when I have a suitcase with me.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

choose the middle and tap your foot

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

what kind of work setting do you have where toilet condition varies that dramatically? no custodial staff or contract?

Oh do I have Jorr-esque stories on this topic. To keep it short, we had a large man who would always use the middle of three stalls. He should have used the handicap one as he was that big. His feet were penguin like such that they extended into both other stalls. When he stood up it shook the walls of the other stall walls. He would watch movies in the middle stall staying for over an hour in the bathroom.

In any case, we moved to a new floor, which only had two stalls. Everyone was anxious to see how he would play it. Well of course he used the stall that was in between the urinals and the other wall stall, thus allowing his penguin feet to protrude the area of the urinal.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I take a shit in the morning before work, 99% of the time I never use a crapper outside a home... In that 1% of time, I'll always choose the cleanest one.

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I'm glad you choose the cleanest outhouse when warranted.

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This thread is a nice companion piece to the "What gives your life meaning" thread. You guys are going to put mini ditka out of business.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

We have single-user bathrooms at work. It's glorious. I usually can find one that hasn't been used yet in the morning and I just befoul that thing.

This.

A floater is enough for me to look next door. Even a smidge of discolored toilet paper will prompt me to option door #2.

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We Now Know That JOE BIDEN has been COMPROMISED by CHINA! (let that sink in)

Election 2020-The Largest Fraud in the History of Mankind.

*If you believe that Biden won, you also believe that Epstein killed himself*

What's the ettiquite for when three stalls, middle stall empty, outer two occupied. You walk in, and as you open the door, one of the ends flushes, and walks out. I think in that case you just wash your hands, leave, and hold it for a bit. I don't want to sit on a warm seat.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

I don't get it.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."