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 Post subject: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:25 am 
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"The Dying Time," by Telegram Sam

The Theater by the Lake at Fullerton beach
used to be an open-air pavilion
where TB patients were taken

to get some fresh air. This city is
pockmarked with the vestiges
of epidemic infrastructure.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:43 pm 
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Some of these posts just really work as poetry. And I am not mocking anyone--I am serious. Anyway, April is National Poetry Month.


"Kids Out of the House Sex," by Spaulding

The other day a 19 year old
told me he could
teach me
a thing or 2.

I laughed
and said you've been having sex
for what 5 or 6 years.
I'm at 20+ with the same person
if you don't think
we've had to be more creative
than you you're insane.

You've never even had
kids out of the house sex.
The things I've seen and
the things I've done
you couldn't even imagine yet.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:44 pm 
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This is some good work by tommy.

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:04 pm 
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Tommy doing work.

Some good work in this thread too.

viewtopic.php?f=47&t=117402

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:22 pm 
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Terry's Peeps wrote:
Tommy doing work.

Some good work in this thread too.

http://chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=117402

I used to do that for Dr. Ken posts, though with Dr. Ken it was a salute. I can't find them.

These posts above actually sound like good poetry, though.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:23 pm 
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:lol: this has potential. the Telegram Sam example was great.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 2:19 pm 
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"The Sentimental Nihilist's Lament" by Ike South

We haven't slowed down a bit.
But everyone suddenly got dumber.
Or lazier
I don't know.

Dumb.

Most likely just idiots
that stopped trying to appear smart.
Fuck everyone.

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 6:55 pm 
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Telegram Sam wrote:
"The Sentimental Nihilist's Lament" by Ike South

We haven't slowed down a bit.
But everyone suddenly got dumber.
Or lazier
I don't know.

Dumb.

Most likely just idiots
that stopped trying to appear smart.
Fuck everyone.

Dis good.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 8:05 pm 
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"Confessio: On Chick Rock," by 312player

I
roll up
the windows
when it comes
on, but its good stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2020 10:43 am 
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The Ballad of The Beast
by deni$

She was a fat machine she licked the ice cream bowl clean
She was the craziest damn woman that I ever seen
She had the filtered eyes telling all those lies
Knocking me out with those Twitter replies
Taking more than her share
Polluting the air
She said her book would come but I never saw it there
Cause the podcast started failing
Her show was ailing
My ears were aching
And she was complaining
And Julie ate burgers all night long
Yeah took in calories all night long

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:41 am 
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"Confessions of an Epicurean; or, How I Came to Love Celery"

by Hatchetman

One time cleaning out
a holding area
I dumped about 50 gallons
of slurry
into my lap.

Got a mouthful.

Doesn’t taste as bad as you’d think.

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2020 11:29 am 
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"Jungle Love," by shakes

She had me doing some things
I never tried before
while making cookies.

2 different kinds of flour, APF and cake flour.
Dark brown sugar and white sugar,
double the vanilla and salt I usually use.

Had me brown the butter. Chocolate chips
and a chocolate bar cut up with a serrated knife
into little chunks. Less flour than I usually use.

And here was the kicker,
a tsp of espresso powder
(the Hershey kiss of the chocolate chip cookie game).

Lady wasn't lying, they were among
the best I've ever had. My only issue is
i think I used too much chocolate chips.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:29 pm 
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"Manifesto," by Spaulding

I'm going to stand on lawns and driveways
or meet at a park and talk
to my friends or family.
I'm going to put a fake mask on
when asked.

We can't live like this
as a society.
Family celebrations, weddings, babies being born,
parties, young people that want to date
and do all of those things

and even grocery shopping.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2020 9:02 pm 
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:lol: @ the whole thread


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:27 pm 
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"The Carnivore's Calculation"
by Bagels

I’m hoarding meat like a mf
God bless
the vacuum sealer

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Antonio Gramsci wrote:
The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2020 9:50 am 
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"Birth of a Pugilist," by Chet Coppock's Fur Coat

I punched the hell out of a kid when I was six
because every day we were in line for lunch
he would poke at the little crucifix
I wore pinned to my undershirt
(it was the 70s, kids still wore undershirts).

Polite appeals to sensibility and warnings
of a less than polite reaction over got nowhere,
so finally
I just hit him
with a straight right
to the mouth.

The teacher was laughing
when she called my mom
that night as required by policy.
Thanked her for me teaching
the little fuckup a lesson.

Nobody fucked with me
for about four years
after that.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2020 9:52 am 
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"Out upon It," by good dolphin

I'm not going to eat you, Cookie,

sitting there at the end of my desk
so sweet
and innocent looking

Sugar just isn't my type.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2020 3:48 pm 
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"Karmic Climax," by Ogie Oglethorpe

I love it when karma hits
and those who suck pig cock
for a living discover that

the pigs are the actual monsters
in American society, violating
with regularity the most basic rights

that we rebelled
against the King
to fight for.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2020 3:53 pm 
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"This Is Just To Say (the Cubs Suck)" by good dolphin

if you are going to
do it

at least make it
dramatic

and jump from the top
of Diamondhead

or one of the active
volcanoes

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2020 4:29 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
"This Is Just To Say (the Cubs Suck)" by good dolphin

if you are going to
do it

at least make it
dramatic

and jump from the top
of Diamondhead

or one of the active
volcanoes

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2020 11:09 am 
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"Half Chicken Schmaltz," by shakes

Hosted our first Hannukah party
at our new house with my parents
and my brother's family.

I cooked latkes for the first time.
They turned out amazing. You know it's good
when you have a line of people
waiting on the last batch.

The problem is how bad my house smells now.
Also, one of my puppies
does not like any smell of smokiness
coming from the kitchen.
He ran and hid
by the couch the whole night.

But, damn were they good.
The key is after you wring out
the moisture from the potatoes
into a bowl, you save the starch
that collects at the bottom
and incorporate that back in.
That helps make them really crispy.

Also, I cooked them in half vegetable oil
and half chicken schmaltz.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:52 pm 
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"Fecundity's Last Gasp," by Beardown

For christ sake,
white women suck
too, Julie. You're
the example. All of us
whites suck.
So take responsibility.
I'm gonna repeat it, Julie.

You need to
divorcethathorriblewhitemanyou'remarriedtoimmediately.

Then you need to
bangJasonGoffproduceakid
and because you're the parents,

that child will grow up
and solve racism and sexism.

So do it.

There might be a chance
you're still fertile.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:31 pm 
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Code:

"Vagina Dentata," by Beardown

But nobody wants

anything to do with
her            vagina
Even          repub-
licans. I believe it has

fangs.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 12:05 pm 
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"This Is Their Alamo," by good dolphin


Participation on a political campaign
for the first time is euphoric.
It becomes, inherently, a cult like situation.

You are surrounded
by others all working
towards the goal of winning,
encouraging
you to do anything
to accomplish that goal.
Process become irrelevant.
It also becomes very easy
to hate
the competition. It is very much
like a sport.

So, you have people staring a reality
in the face and
this is their Alamo.

They are being told
they can still change the result
if they
are willing
to do something. Further,

they are told
that
they are patriots
and
will be remembered

by history if they do.
and just like any cult,
when they find out their leader
is not who he said he was,
they become disillusioned...

like a drunk the morning after


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:57 pm 
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Telegram Sam wrote:
"The Sentimental Nihilist's Lament" by Ike South

We haven't slowed down a bit.
But everyone suddenly got dumber.
Or lazier
I don't know.

Dumb.

Most likely just idiots
that stopped trying to appear smart.
Fuck everyone.



sounds like my words

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2021 4:44 am 
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"Under-stimulation Here in the Digital Age," by pittmike


I tried and tried to see
why I wasn’t reading and posting
more.

Was is my particular politics
or persuasion
or anyone polar opposite,

no. It’s just that
for whatever reason
it is boring as hell.

I guess there are some sports
here and there
but more of “poster, quote, poster, quote.

Unpopular maybe
but Brick style
killed the board.

Instead of hot take hit and runs
you needed to defend thesis
in multi quote posts.

Anyway I’ll still be here
and you too
but if you like this board

it kinda sucks

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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2021 8:13 am 
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thomas wrote:
"Under-stimulation Here in the Digital Age," by pittmike


I tried and tried to see
why I wasn’t reading and posting
more.

Was is my particular politics
or persuasion
or anyone polar opposite,

no. It’s just that
for whatever reason
it is boring as hell.

I guess there are some sports
here and there
but more of “poster, quote, poster, quote.

Unpopular maybe
but Brick style
killed the board.

Instead of hot take hit and runs
you needed to defend thesis
in multi quote posts.

Anyway I’ll still be here
and you too
but if you like this board

it kinda sucks

:lol:

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“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2021 8:24 am 
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"Ode on a Dalzell Gymnasium" by Dr. Ken

Not much left in Dalzell. That school
has the most bizarre
gymnasium. If it was about 10 feet

wider and longer and 20 feet taller
it would be really cool.
Illinois valley talk... Always riveting

I know. I played
grade school basketball
in Dalzell and we made

fun of it. And our gym was Ophir. [waiting
for all to click
away from thread..]

I always wanted to slide down
the Cherry grade school fire escapes
from the 3rd floor. Yes, I was born

in a recent century.

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The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2021 1:35 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
"Ode on a Dalzell Gymnasium" by Dr. Ken

Not much left in Dalzell. That school
has the most bizarre
gymnasium. If it was about 10 feet

wider and longer and 20 feet taller
it would be really cool.
Illinois valley talk... Always riveting

I know. I played
grade school basketball
in Dalzell and we made

fun of it. And our gym was Ophir. [waiting
for all to click
away from thread..]

I always wanted to slide down
the Cherry grade school fire escapes
from the 3rd floor. Yes, I was born

in a recent century.

Excellent work. Dr. Ken is a fertile, fecund, dare I say pregnant source of poetry.

_________________
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Dave Grohl is an overrated and overhyped disturbance to the music industry.


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 Post subject: Re: Board Poets
PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2021 1:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2018 9:19 pm
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thomas wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
"Ode on a Dalzell Gymnasium" by Dr. Ken

Not much left in Dalzell. That school
has the most bizarre
gymnasium. If it was about 10 feet

wider and longer and 20 feet taller
it would be really cool.
Illinois valley talk... Always riveting

I know. I played
grade school basketball
in Dalzell and we made

fun of it. And our gym was Ophir. [waiting
for all to click
away from thread..]

I always wanted to slide down
the Cherry grade school fire escapes
from the 3rd floor. Yes, I was born

in a recent century.

Excellent work. Dr. Ken is a fertile, fecund, dare I say pregnant source of poetry.

Both you and Spiral are in a league of your own. Is smartass poetry a thing? If it is, I'm in.

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