On the site. You sell it, Jen. Should have took more takes. Looks like you're reading. Another half-ass effort for this site.

Check it out. More hilarious stupidity.
http://dontfademe.com/

And if a few weeks, u too can talk to jen for 99 cents a minute.

Hilarious . . . yet pathetic.

I do have to be honest though, she is better to look at then Mr. Bad Teeth.

She looks decent on that spot, I have to say. She'd be better off asking for money for, um . . . other things, rather than her opinion on who's going to win the Bears-49ers game this week.

Yeah. But hard core gambler wants the old bastard with bad teeth selling their picks. Those are the guys who really work at it. You have a little more trust in those guys. Not Pappy but those are the "type" of guys you want making your picks. You don't want a little bunny selling this shit.

And, her face isn't blotchy and purple like Mike's was, so that's a plus right there.

Oh boy. All these media moguls like Space and Spike consulting and producing this stuff and this is the sloppy amateurishness (as far as the read quality goes) that they can come up with? They should pay Rock a couple hundo to polish the sound.

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"It's not exactly a rocket surgery." D.J.

Hey, yous want a hot chick makin' good picks or yous wants perfeck sound? Shut up about da damn sound quality an' gimme yer hunnerd bucks, homo!"

Hey Jen. Here is how a real pro tries to sell something.

Watch how the lovely Paula Faris does it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSFLQjEOLJQ

Faris' promo sucked too.

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"It's not exactly a rocket surgery." D.J.

How true!!!

Jen Jen isn't bad looking, and does look good there, but a good looking blonde isn't going to convince me to buy picks from a two guys who don't do any research.

1. You need to scream "THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE"

2. Might look a little better having someone else turn the camera off.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Is it just me, or does she look like she's wearing a bathrobe?

If this couldn't look any more amatuer hour, they found a way to do it.

I just love how proudly and professionally Jen tries to read this spot. Do you think she even sees the foolishness and stupidity of this? Or do you think she thinks this is something respectable. Do you think she knows that not one sucker (if there are any) pays for this site because of her? Or has she completely convinced herself that she's an asset to this "project"?

I have to beleive she knows this is stupid but maybe she doesn't. How could she not crack up 100 times before she made a clean copy of this commercial? Jen, please tell it did take you 100 cuts. We'll all have more respect for you.

Hey, you're trying to make a buck. Pappy feels guilty about you and he threw this your way. Fine. But please tell us you know it's stupid. Jen, could you tell us how many "customers" you have?

Just caught something funny:



Well, you know, except for the Bookie Priest.

Here's something funny from northtonorth.com as well:



http://www.northtonorth.com/blogs/BookiePriest.php

That's from the last NFL season. I think that post is referring to the AFC and NFC championships, which means that he went 1-2 that final week. That'd put his record at 31-30-2 for the NFL season. Assume a -110 line for each pick and one unit per game and that's -1.821 units for the season, if my quick midnight math is accurate.

I found that while googling "bookie priest." God help me.

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Fire Phil Emery

More from Irish Boy's Cavalcade of Math:



That's from his myspace page. I got to thinking about this: right now, the only real betting sports going on are baseball and preseason football. Let's assume it's been mostly baseball for this, although it doesn't really matter. Baseball wagering runs off the moneyline, so only very rarely will anything come to even amounts. Assume that you bet on a favorite. There's two ways you could handle it:

1.) Always bet one unit regardless of the payout: if the price is -200, you'd bet one unit and hope to win .5 units.

2.) Always bet the amount it would take to win one unit: if the price is -200, you'd bet two units; if the price is -150, you'd bet 1.5 units, and so on.

The same works for longshots as well; you could either bet one unit no matter what and hope to win more, or you could bet less and hope to win one unit. For example, if the price was +200, you could bet one unit and hope to win two, or you could bet half a unit and hope to win one.

For the Mike to have a perfectly even unit figure like 700 (assuming he's multiplying things by 100), he'd have to employ a system where he always bets the amount you need to win one unit, and he'd always have to win. Think about that for a second. It's possible, when betting baseball, to win one unit at a time evenly. If you're betting on a bunch of -125s, you'd just bet 1.25 units (this isn't the recommended method, BTW.) As long as you won, you'd come out with even figures. But as soon as you lose, you'd have lost 1.25, and your units would no longer be even.

That'd be true no matter what system he employed, unless he knew before hand when he was going to win or lose. If that were the case, you could bet the amount you need to win one unit when you win, and bet one unit when you lose, regardless of the payoff. That's the only way to get to a figure like +700 units.

It could also be possible that he's just rounding. But that's a huge, huge problem, even though it's just small numbers at the margins. Baseball wagering is all about small advantages slowly accumulated; you can't just round those up because it's more convenient. There's a difference between +140 and +145 in the long term. Also, it's not just about being right more than half the time; it's about being right enough times to overcome the transaction costs (the vig.) Anyone on Wall Street will tell you that outperforming the market is relatively easy; outperforming the market after taking transaction costs into consideration takes a lot more talent.

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Fire Phil Emery

You're right. It's impossible for it to be an even 700 if he has MLB losers. Which he must have. Gamblers know this. So when they see how he figures his units that just puts them off. He gives his record daily in his blog section of his site. You don't round off. That could add up after a while. It means a lot if he's rounding off from an already rounded off number. I'm sure he doesn't round down.

When he starts losing he won't be posting his daily record anymore. Watch.

He had a made up starting record when he launched the site. So he has a while to go before he's under .500. His record before he was a pro means nothing.

Wait. He took off his record when he launched the site. Just checked it. So now he only shows his "pro" record. So that's good. It's on the main page.

All is forgivien, Irish Boy.

For the one who cannot recognize to pound the home dawg is forever innocent.

When the games on a weekday, playing on a shared baseball field, with Joe Morgan in attendence, so the player does in fact not walk in sin. Hallelujah!

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

What the fuck?

At least we we know now she can read.

I really find it funny that North would refer to his father when he talked about the money he turned down. He said the money he was offered is rediculous compared to his hard working father. Now I find it odd that Mike is "trying" to make money off of people with an addiction. Sure some people like Beardown go in on a reputable betting site and try to make money as a group. But any slouch thats gonna fork out a hundred dollars is betting way more than that. even if they cant afford it.

Nice work Mike. Whats next? ByCRACKfromme.com ?

Your Pops would be so proud.


-Next time show some boob Jen. I might pay $19.99 for that.

Only 3 hair flips during a 26 second commercial. Kinda disappointing. I would've expected she'd be good for at least 5.

OK, I really need to stop, but it's like some weird disease. Here's Mike in his "education" section:



OK! According to him, people cheer for the favorites in big national games, so oddsmakers shade their lines towards favorites. I think the first part of that sentence is false, but the second could be true even if most people cheer for underdogs (most people may still overvalue favorites in these games.) So I took a look at every Monday Night NFL game since 1997 (this list does not include Sunday night games or other nationally televised games.)

In the past 11 years, there have been 186 Monday night NFL games. One game was a pick 'em, so that leaves 185 games. Favorites went 88-90-7 ATS in those games. A losing record by the slimmest of margins. Someone betting favorites ATS in every MNF game since 1997 would be down 10 units if every bet was made at the standard -110 price. Oops.

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Fire Phil Emery

This is fuckin' 2008. Not 1962. Isn't every fuckin' pro game played a "TV game".

Especially in the NFL when a shit load of people have the "NFL package" or watch every game at a bar.

I know he means "Nationally Televised games" but that's not what he said. That would also include the 3 o'clock games. Those are "Nationally Televised". There is always one of them that most of the country sees since most games are played at Noon.

In fairness to Mike, he wasn't specific to the NFL, but I have a feeling that the stats would be pretty much the same regardless of sport. Think about it- if there was some longlasting, ever-present edge to one of the sides, it would be bet hard by smarter people than Mike North.

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Fire Phil Emery

Jen Jen changed the commercial. It's a new one saying the same thing. It's a much smoother read and she doesn't shut off the camera herself. She doesn't flip her hair either.

I'm telling you. WE MADE HERE DO A BETTER COMMERCIAL!!! She reads us!!!!

Another insignificant acomplishment for the board!!!! We're good at these.

I am going to assume once mike's picks go in the tank, she will be doing the commercials in a low cut shirt with a push up bra or possibly t0pless.

Clothing went from long sleeve jacket to short sleeve tight shirt. One hairflip. A little less constipated but still pretty bad. Sounds patronizing. Lighting in the room sucks, so does her make up. Work it better, Jen. You made progress, tiny one but encouraging.

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"It's not exactly a rocket surgery." D.J.

So she changed her top so it didnt look like a bath robe? But it still refers to North in her bio as "the" Mike.

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Jen, if you really do read us and follow our advice, here's some: RUN--DON'T WALK--away from Mike North right now! Go back into radio if you can, get yourself and your Rolodex a respectable job, work your way back up, and get far, far away from this creep who says you're like a daughter to him and then publicly talks about how sexy you are and who now has you linked to one the most half-ass ventures I've ever seen. He's making a fool out of you.