From Billy Crystal's book Still Foolin' 'Em:
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I got a call from George Steinbrenner on behalf of Mickey [Mantle's] family. They wanted me to speak at the unveiling of Mickey's monument in Yankee stadium. Moved and honored, I agreed to fly to New York.

It was a somber occasion as the Yankees and fifty-seven thousand fans gathered to remember the legend. many former Yankees teammates were there, and after a few spoke, Bobby Murcer, a former Yankee and now an announcer, introduced me. He told the crowd that I was a great Yankee fan and a dear friend of Mickey's and that the family wanted me to speak.

I almost tripped on my way out of the dugout, but I made my way to the microphone. At the home plate I always dreamed of stepping on after my World Series-winning home run, I spoke of my dad taking me to my first game in 1956 and asked the last row of the upper deck to stand up to show how far Mickey had hit the ball that day.

I told them I was there representing all fathers in the stands who were bringing their sons to their first game. I then introduced a film package of Mickey moments. As it was playing, Murcer came over and said, "When it's over, introduce Joe DiMaggio."

Oh man, okay, I thought. In the dugout, Joe was pacing. I had never met him, but he'd been my dad's favorite player. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Joe DiMaggio," I said.

Joe bounded out onto the field and got to me quickly as the crowd roared. "I'm not speaking - what do I do?" he asked gruffly. "Wave and stand next to Whitey Ford," I replied......

Joe Torre, in his first year as manager of the Yankees, invited me to work out with the team. I spent some time with Yogi Berra and Whitey Ford. I greeted Mickey's widow, Merlyn, and their sons David and Danny. We were standing just out side the Yankee Clubhouse when the door opened and Joe DiMaggio came out. He stepped toward me and without warning, punched me in the stomach. Hard. I wasn't ready for it, and it knocked the wind out of me. He put his face inches from mine. "Greatest living player!" he hissed, and then stormed off.

I didn't know what to do. Totally confused, I was escorted up to Mr. Steinbrenner's box, and when I arrived, George was laughing. "Well, you pissed Joe off - he insists on being introduced as the greatest living player."

"I didn't know. Can I apologize to him?" George laughed some more. "Joe was so angry that he left the stadium, and not just because of that. He was jealous of Mickey and couldn't stand the fact that it was Mickey's day, even though Mickey's gone. I'll take care of it," he assured me. "Don't worry." But this would not be my last encounter with Mr. DiMaggio......

Spring came, and there was no other place I'd rather be than opening day at Yankee Stadium. I was sitting with Janice in the Steinbrenner box. She left for a short period of time, and when she returned to her seat, I could see that she was upset.

"What's up?" I asked. "Nothing," she said, but I know her too well. Finally, after much prodding, she told me that she had smuggled into the ball-park one of my prized possessions - a Joe DiMaggio uniform top - knowing that DiMaggio would be there that day.

She'd just asked him to sign it, and he'd refused. He claimed he had an exclusive deal for his signature with a baseball bat company and that if they found out he'd signed the jersey, they might cancel it. It was a foolish argument.

I left Janice at our seats, swearing to her that I was going to the bathroom, but I went to talk to DiMaggio. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but the sight of Janice so upset made me angry, and given that the first time I'd met him he'd punched me, things couldn't get much worse. Honestly, I thought I could take him. But when I found him, DiMaggio was disarmingly apologetic and told me about his concerns about the deal he'd made with the company.

"Joe," I said, "I'm not going to sell it. This jersey is very rare and important to my collection. Do you really think if they found you did this for me, they'd drop you?"

"I'm sorry," he countered and handed me a ball with this inscription: "To a great Yankee fan, from your fan, Joe DiMaggio." It was a very nice inscription, but honestly it didn't matter what he had written, twice he had shown me who he was.

And by the way, I thought Willie Mays was the greatest living player. - Billy Crystal

Sounds like '96 ceremony. DiMaggio was 82. Appears he was mentally losing it. I don't recall other stories of Joe D being such a prick.

Really? Every story I've ever heard about the guy he was a royal prick. The reason Mantle tore up his knee on the drain was because DiMaggio could no longer cover center but the Yankees were to afraid to ask him to move to a corner. And he was so fuckin' dumb he didn't understand that the line in Mrs. Robinson is a tribute to him rather than an insult.

I get that for Italians he's almost like Jackie Robinson. It's hard for people now to imagine that and the way Italian immigrants were viewed in the early part of the 20th Century. There's little doubt he was a fucking asshole though.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Might of read something years ago about him being a jerk but it probably bounced off me. All the joy he brought representing italian Americans on the diamond overshadowed any personality defects he had. I remember the joy in my dad's face talking about his baseball prowess. It was a different time not like now. Nobody obsessed on celebrities faults like now trying to bring people down. I'd have long talks about baseball nostalgia with my dad and uncles just eating it up, and their love of the game was amazing.

As a kid learning he married Marilyn Monroe even put him on a higher plateau for me. I remrmbet going to SF as a kid and going to a restaurant a ex wife of his had ties to and my uncle pointing her out. It probably was common knowledge in the italian community he could be an A-hole. But it was like eh (shoulders shrugging).

Not everybody can be Jim Thome. Once, during a steroid rage, Thome delivered hot meals to the invalid.

This should really be in Shoutouts.

it should really be in Think Tank

Bill Murray appearing on the better saturday night show of my youth as Joe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0-vH8VpdQo

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

Joe DiMaggio dunks his donuts.

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How about when Joe DiMaggio snubbed RFK at Yankee Stadium cause he knew him and his brother ran a train on Marilyn Monroe?

no that's not why. Joe believed to the day he died that RFK/JFK had Marylin killed. Joe vowed back in 1962 that once RFK was out of office as AG, he would kill him for what he did to Marilyn. Forgot the book I read this in but if you google it you will find the exact quote.

Also, Pete Rose 'hung' out w/ Joe during a Vietnam War USO trip. He said Joe man part was huge that it was Joe hanging from it, not the other way around. It's on you tube : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UmPzuE1SPQ

If a gun were put to my head and I was asked to figure out what "the other way around" of this is, I'd accept the bullet. Just say Penis.

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.