I've had at least 3 kids.

Replaced a toilet a few times.

Probably put in a real tile floor would be the answer....and the kid thing...

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You know me like that.

Does farming stuff count?

Because I have a bunch more answers....

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You know me like that.

yes, please go on...

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I'm sure the alcohol haze of a long weekend is only slowly lifting from your brain but that was self deprecating humor.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Depends. FarmVille or real life?

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When did you get so sensitive?

Somebody decided that farm life would make a good video game.

That is crazy to me.

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You know me like that.

I tamed a wild horse through time and patience.

Is that masculine?

Still haven’t tamed The Bandit.

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You know me like that.

Ever tried to tame a cat?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I have. Mother Cat (I wasn’t good with names - she had kittens every year).

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You know me like that.

I feel like we are losing the general theme of this topic.

Tangents are encouraged.

I blame myself.

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You know me like that.

Give us some good farm stories.

Good. Blame yourself. It does wonders for the self esteem.
How did taming your slutty mother cat go?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Quite well, actually. She/he/it - we never clarified - was a Calico. Beautiful cat and loving mother.

I missed her when she disappeared after, quite a few years actually, cats on the farm are not always long-term relationships.

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You know me like that.

Chicken coops still smell like shit years after a chicken has ever been there.

And why are they only 4 feet high? Agricultural engineers need to do more engineering.

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You know me like that.

You ever jerk off a rooster?

That's a tricky question.

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You know me like that.

What a cocky question.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

So yeah. My roommate's boyfriend was some sort of ag major. He jerked off a chicken. I could not stop laughing when he told us the story.

Lobsters have little swimmerets that are hard and bony on a male, that's how you can tell they are male. That info was funny about a month ago.

I’ve heard a lot of farm stories.

I’ve never heard of anyone jerking off farm animals. You need different friends.

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You know me like that.

I didn’t know jerking off farm animals was a career option.

I might have made some different life decisions.

Maybe that is a good video game.

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You know me like that.

Still thinking about it 2 hours later?

You didn’t grow up on a farm.

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You know me like that.

Never around when A bull was electoejjaculated for a fertility test or a collection? You haven’t lived.

I have not.

I am feeling pretty good about my cyberattack-era beef investment, though. I'll have to put an extra lock on the meat freezer.

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You know me like that.

With the egg McMuffin eating attack dog on duty? Seems like overkill.

As far as the collection... it’s a process. Bull seemed like a fan and not a fan at the same time.