i know who you are talking about and it makes perfect sense.

Barnyard animal behavior.

_________________

About half my urine is left outside, as well. I have only dropped a deuce outdoors on the farm a couple of times that I can remember.

Until we remodeled, there was a two-hole (side by side) outhouse out by the corn crib, but I usually reserved that for standing in, since there might be rats below. When there were many people on the farm, like the family reunion, the men were required to use the outhouse/trees, as there originally was only one indoor bathroom, reserved on those days for the ladies, of course. We now have four indoor bathrooms, and the outhouse is long gone.

I was always embarrassed by bodily waste excretion- not sure why. I peed off the side of the water to quiet the stream down, but ALWAYS inside the bowl, or Mom would be furious. Early school years there were toilet stalls, but without doors, I refused to crap until I was home for the day. I wanted the door closed and the fan running to mask any noises. Then I learned about the courtesy flush, and made excessive use of that. Even the high school locker room stall had no door.

Now, "my" bathroom is the farthest from the rest of the house, toilet buried deep inside with walls around it, and a super-sized fan. Since our doors use mortice lock sets original to the house, one needs a key to lock it from inside, or out. Mine stays open unless I'm inside- but I am shielded by the walls from interlopers' views, should they barge past the closed door. If there are guests about, I take the key and lock it.

Until I wrote all this down, I had no true feeling about how messed up I really am...

Yeah I remember being back in Elementary and Junior high and our bathroom stalls had no doors. What the hell was that? I remember walking in the bathroom one time in elementary and there is one of the teachers dropping a deuce. So awkward. I was so glad to get to our high school where they had doors on all the stalls.

_________________
"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

We remodeled our bathroom but the toilet was an old school model that could suck down an entire duvet with no problem. I didn't want to replace it with one of those low-flow green new deal pieces of shit. So we did the entire remodel around the old toilet. It came out pretty good.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

There was a bar at UofI in Champaign called O'Malley's.

It was 2 urinals and 1 toilet.

The bathroom was probably 10 feet by 10 feet. The toilet was in the middle of the room up on a step. There was no stall or walls. It was just a toilet on a pedestal in the middle of the room. We called it "The Throne".

The door was always open because there was always a line for a 3-holer bathroom at a bar and the guys in line would just stand and keep the door open to see which spot would open next.

Girls would often just stand outside and watch dudes whip it out at times when they had to go. I thought that was a little strange.

_________________
You know me like that.

I can only pee standing up at a urinal. I have no pee control. It goes all over the place and then drips on my pants if I stand up at a toilet. I have issues.

Girls are piss pervs

_________________

Was that that shithole where you could "Drink The Wall"?

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Long gone. But, yes.

It was always hilarious when a dude was drunk enough to actually take a crap on the throne and would raise their hands in exultation and yell every time someone walked past the the door.

Youth.

_________________
You know me like that.

Ahhhhhhhhh, NO

_________________

If you have really creaky knees which can lead to balance issues, yes.

_________________
There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Which was the bigger dump O'Malley's or the Illini Inn?

_________________
There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

nonsense. I don't even open my eyes when I go pee in at 3am. Just start peeing and stop moving around once I hear the splash.

_________________

O'Malley's. No question.

If you'd walked barefoot through there you'd have died where you were like a volcano victim at Pompeii.

Historians would have found you years later and tried to determine if you were a King since you were seated on raised platform in a separate chamber naked from the waist down.

_________________
You know me like that.

The Illini Inn was awesome!

You guys are a little younger than I am so I'm not sure if this place still existed when you were there, but Dooley's was a pretty big shithole.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I vaguely remember that dump. But my alcohol tinged memories as a 16 year old may be off.

_________________
There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Illini Inn was fine. I didn't really consider that a shithole.

Kam's was a shithole. Talking about bathrooms. I wouldn't even go in there. Guys were pissing in garbage cans, in the sinks, you didn't want to touch anything in there. It was the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen.

They opened a new location a few years ago. I hope they had the foresight to connect the garbage cans to bathroom pipes.

_________________
You know me like that.

Something about that place always felt skeevy to me. I usually only went there for the $2.25 six packs of Stroh's cans to go.

_________________
There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

One term I had never heard until I got downstate was "speed rails" e.g. SPECIAL: $2.00 SPEED RAILS. In Chicago those were what we would call "well drinks". I worked in a restaurant and there was a "speed rail" behind the bar, but I don't recall anyone every referring to the actual item that way, let alone shots that came from the bottles that were kept there.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I don't think I've ever heard of speed rails.

JORR....more downstate cred than Dr. Ken.

Be sure to give everyone a one-finger wave from the steering wheel of your truck when you pass them on the country road for me next time.

_________________
You know me like that.

I still think of the name Onterrio Smith whenever I hear the word wiz in this context

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

On the level

_________________
Be well

GO BEARS!!!

I remember that place well. I have used the sink more than once there during Monday night quarter beers.

There was no amount of colonoscopy cleanse that could make me go on The Throne sober.

Are you saying there’s a non-zero chance you fall down while pissing once you hit a certain age?

_________________

Is that the truck with the hole in the floorboards?

_________________

That's a stock photo.

But, we only had trucks with holes in the floor.

But, to answer your question, the one I always knew was the fire orange 1977 Ford F150 with a hole in the floor by the 4WD shifter that taught me how to do the one-finger farmer wave.

_________________
You know me like that.

_________________

It looked a lot like this truck but that looks like an extended bed.

Ours was a standard.

_________________
You know me like that.